Intimidation

I know that some times I can be perceived as someone that likes to intimidate others and put people in their places. I know that at times Jesus put the religious ruling class in their place by seeking to afflict the comfortable or those who think they know it all. One of the joys of working in an urban context is seeing that everyone regardless of age, background or race has something to contribute. I can actually learn from a grandma and I can also help a teen figure out life as they teach me how to laugh, smile and not take life too seriously.

Over the last couple of week I have been in situations where a few in positions of authority use their power to intimidate. I know that with most of us having a red light flash behind us as we are driving is enough to cause a heart attack. As I have been trying to help a few that are in awkward situations it makes me mad when someone takes advantage of their position to put another down and make them afraid.

I know I say often that it isn’t a sin to be either rich or poor it is what you choose to do with your position in life that is important. The challenge is that because of my station in life I have certain advantages over people with less that become obvious and seem unfair. I had a friend get pulled over because of driving an older vehicle. There wasn’t anything wrong with his vehicle but the officer decided to check him out. He couldn’t find his registration or proof of insurance. (He is like most guys that are rather sloppy.) So he gets a citation. If he had been driving my truck, which is new, this wouldn’t have happened. I could also have been in the same situation where my registration is in the glove box but because of teens always rifling through it I could be in trouble. The result was an unfortunate situation for my friend.

I’ve also had some of my Hispanic moms be pulled over because they have ancient cars. They are scared because they don’t speak any English. Some of them have all of the proper documents but panic because of their perceptions. A few of those pulling them over then take advantage of the situation to intimidate them. Please don’t get me wrong the majority of my Police friends go out of their way to help and even put their lives and jobs on the line to help in this type of situation. It is with some others in our county that cause nightmares and much tension between ethnic groups.

My hope, which I know is a dream, is that we would have a heart for the orphan, widow or underdog. That we would choose to be champions for those who can’t stand on their own. I’m not saying that we need to rescue those who have chosen a path that is totally self-focused. Yet, Jesus has given too many parables that seem to show God’s heart for the underdog but also for the one that totally crashes and burns. I see the key is that we acknowledge our mess and ask for help as we have come to the end of our rope.

I have a few friends that are like almost 7 feet tall. It isn’t easy for these guys not to intimidate anyone just by being around. So the lesson that I am learning is that God does have a purpose for making us the way we are and placing us in our specific neighborhood, job or school. The opportunity for all of us is to purposely choose to use our circumstances to be agents of grace and change. I’m not one to promote the status quo or complacency. Jesus has come to turn our lives upside down in order for us to do the ordinary in an extra-ordinary fashion.

HELP!!

I am a little hung over from the long weekend of activities with celebrating the Resurrection of Jesus Christ! I was totally blessed by some good friends at a church who made Easter Baskets for 100 kids, teens and grandmas in my group. We were also fortunate enough to make 300 burritos to take to our homeless friends in the downtown on Saturday for an Easter blessings. I am sure these homeless friends loved the burritos, chips and salsa, orange slices, gift bags and Starbucks Coffee. We have an amazing Sunrise Service on the top of South Mountain. We actually get there at least 30 minutes before the sun is even close to showing itself. We listen to the Easter Story being read by a few of the adults. We sing about Jesus coming from heaven to earth to show us the way, as he has become our redemption.

I am driving back form dropping off some of our kidz/teens and get a call from a good friend saying that his laptop has decided to go on the fritz and he needs a different dvi adapter. So I rush home, get three different ones and try not to get a ticket as I drive to their church that meets in an office complex 20 minutes away. I get there in like 12 minutes and to my dismay none of the adapters work. I ‘m frustrated because I know that my friend has been sweating bullets over this. So I drive back home via Starbucks to get a cup of coffee and now get dressed to attend another Easter Service.

We return and quickly get started on our family gourmet Easter dinner. We have a rump roast, leg of lamb roast and left over ham. Obviously we aren’t going to starve this Easter. Yet, I am humbled and convicted to think that I have a few families who didn’t have much for Easter dinner. I will take over leftovers today but that isn’t the same and I feel horrible. As we take my dad back to his group home and return to finish the dishes, pots and pans it is getting late. I get a text from one of my teens asking if I’ll go to court with his mom. I quickly text back that I need the address of her work place and also need to have her answer a few questions.

I get up early, regardless of how my body feels and we take the dogs for a walk on the canal before the sun is any where close to being visible, In fact the moon is still casting enough light that we can see in the dark as we walk along the canal and watch our dogs play in the tall grass and almost run through the irrigation or jump in the canal after a couple of ducks. I get Anne’s lunch ready, give the dogs a morning treat and then head off to write at my Starbucks.

After I get a refill I notice two Phoenix Police Officers and decide to ask them questions about my teen’s mom and dad’s situation. They gracefully answer questions about impounded vehicles, what is a minor infraction and what is a misdemeanor. As I am listening I am coming to the conclusion that my friends are ‘screwed’ because without a valid Arizona Driver’s license they won’t be able to retrieve the dad’s truck out of impound. The unfortunate part of this story is that all of his painting equipment is in the back of his truck. The towing company won’t release anything in the truck or the truck itself without a release from the city where it was impounded.

The teen of this dad is a good friend and someone who I do care about deeply. He has posted on FB something about life being hard and is seemingly getting to be more difficult. I know that he is afraid that his mom or dad might get arrested and get deported. What is he going to do with a younger brother and sister if mom or dad is sent back to Mexico? The real question is what am I going to do? I’m taking the mom to court and know that without the proper documentation that she can’t do anything and is walking into what could be an unfortunate situation. She or her husband could get in trouble for not having proper identification. So what do we do? The truck might stay in the impound for a month and have a $1000 fee that they can’t pay. Bigger concern is that the dad might now have a warrant for his arrest if he can’t produce some type of driver’s license. God want am I to do? This type of situation shouldn’t’ happen to a mom and dad who are both holding down jobs and paying their own way. This isn’t fair, but it happened and the consequences for not being legal in our country are you might go to jail and also be deported. I could also get in trouble for helping. Yes, driving the mom to court, I am transporting an undocumented person that is illegal. I too could be in court or jail.

Help!

Visit me in prison - please!

I will be the first to admit, when someone asks me what I actually do, it isn’t easy to answer. One of my younger kids asked me last night what I wanted to do when I grow up? Often the ones who we help don’t really understand that what New City – Barrio does is who I am. So as I look back on the last couple days of my life I am humbled to be able to show God’s grace and mercy in real ways. Yet, I live in a world that so often caters and helps those with means and leaves behind those who happen to live in the wrong zip code or don’t have a dad.

I have tried over the last week to visit a really close friend who is in Sheriff Joe’s Tent City. We were away on a leadership trip with teens and college students when I get a text and then a call about my friend being arrested and put in jail. He wouldn’t get awards for his past behavior but presently he has been an awesome single dad who juggles taking care of his 2 kids and his sister’s kid while also providing for his mom and dad. I knew that when I went to his hearing that there was a good chance he would have to serve time to pay for his fine which had been incurred over three years ago for a DUI. The judge didn’t show any mercy or interest in his circumstances but essentially said pay the fine or do the time!

As the Marshall explained to me the situation it became clear that even my willingness to pay for ½ of the fine wouldn’t help my friend. I know that if the circumstances were turned that I would have had the means to pay the fine and not be stuck in tent city doing work for Sheriff Joe. Yet, reality check, the judge didn’t care about my friend losing his job, not having money for his mortgage or food for his kids.

As I have tried to visit my friend in jail I just discovered that he is working everyday until he gets released. This enables him to shorten his sentence by ½ the time required to serve. This is great news but means I most likely won’t see him until he is released. I took his mom, one of my grandmas, to visit and discovered this and then upon wanting to give him some spending money found out that we would be charged $5 to give him $30.

This has rocked my world because I knew that there was a potential for my friend to get in trouble. Yeah, he hadn’t paid his fine because after moving the court didn’t have his new address. He gets pulled over for something silly and then gets the cuffs. My purpose in this blog isn’t to make this a race thing because I’m white I would get off and because he is Mexican he’s in jail, but it is about me being born into a middle class educated family that I have the means to do things which I didn’t earn or deserve but it happened. Much as my friend’s world is totally different because he has a mom who is living on Social Security with a dad who is disabled. He didn’t go to college but has always been good at getting jobs using his hands. The unfortunate reality for him is that these jobs at most pay $15/hour whereas, I can make double to triple of that because of my background.

If this wasn’t enough, as I am picking up kids for our tutoring last night, one of the dads comes up to me and asks for help. He was pulled over the day before and his truck, his source of work, was impounded. He is a painter and got pulled over because there was paint on his license plate. As he nervously fumbles through his glove compartment he can’t find his registration and proof of insurance. As the officer asks for his driver’s license he can’t give it to him because he doesn’t have one. My teen’s dad is undocumented but has lived in the Arizona and worked for over 15 years. The present laws make it impossible for him to do anything and his family of five knows that something could happen. The officer has his truck impounded but doesn’t arrest him. (The dad does have paid registration and proof of insurance but could find it.)

I now have the task of getting his truck out of impound. He quickly has his title signed over to me because he can’t legally get his truck without having a driver’s license. So I will call the towing company and see if I can get his truck out after I have put the truck in my name, get it insured and pay the fine. I do respect this dad who is trying to do it right but again because of circumstances doesn’t have the means to get legal help to become a legal resident.

I know that the disciples were surprised at Jesus making the statement that they had visited him in prison, brought him food and clothing. He goes on and explains that as they showed real love and concern to those around them that were hungry, in prison and in great need, that they had actually done this to him. I know that as I reach back to both my friends that there is a good chance that I could get in trouble with the present law with immigration and helping what might be perceived as criminals, even with my friend who is serving time. I know that I would have a better chance of not getting in as much trouble because I could afford a lawyer and most likely my skin color would influence the one that might arrest me.

As I look at the newspaper this morning the headlines talk about illegal parents with legal kids. What would happen if the officer had called ICE and the dad was taken and then they go back to their home only to discover the mom also isn’t legal? She too is working and recently bought a foreclosure house because she had saved $20k over 4 years with her low-end job. I don’t have the answers to the present immigration mess but know that real people with real kids and teens are in difficult circumstances. I know that many will say the law is the law. Yet, the truth is that I am a law-breaker much as everyone else happens to be. I just haven’t gotten caught yet and know that my day might still come.

I will tell my teens at times that life isn’t fair. Sometimes things happen which are totally beyond our control and the outcome isn’t good. Yes, my friend should have continued to pay his fine but didn’t so he is in jail. My other friend should have kept his license plate clean and had his registration and insurance handy in his truck. Yes, I should have paid more attention backing out in a Frye’s parking lot when a guy in a little sports car tried to speed past me only to have my bumper jar his fender. I didn’t have to worry about the situation because I have insurance and also the means to pay for the repair. Yet,, neither of my friends who have shared the same outcome. So I believe that I do have a responsibility to help change a legal system that isn’t fair and caters to the rich and famous. I also believe that kids shouldn’t be punished for the sins of their parents or grandparents but most of the time it happens. So please be more open to visit your neighbor, who may not be a friend, if they end up in prison or be quicker to offer help.

Hunger Games are not a Game!

Yesterday I was leaving a men’s lunch Bible Study that I started with one of my ‘geek’ friends 14 years ago. (We have taken over Coco’s back section at lunch on Tuesdays for years now.) I had an enlightening conversation with a good friend. As I am asking him how he is doing he shares the real truth that the hunger games are not games at all. You see my friend decided four years ago to leave his high paying engineering job to be a relator and have more opportunity to be with his family, be more involved with being gospel driven and be less stressed out. The reality for being a relator today is that it is either feast or famine.

We were in a discussion with a group of engineers at the study that was focused on the Prophet Isaiah but at times would vacillate into politics or social issues. We were talking about the ills of our present government’s dilemma with health care. The circumstances for these guys who are very well off is that they don’t have to worry about health care because their company provides it or if it didn’t they had the means to pay for it out of their six figure salaries. Whereas, most of the neighbors around me, live hand to mouth and don’t know where tomorrow’s dinner will come. They are living either on state aid or making$15 an hour or less and are amazingly able to provide for a family of 5 or more. Typically at the end of the month there isn’t enough money for food never the less health care coverage.

Back to my friend, who now is sharing the blessing of living by faith, when it comes to his salary and being able to provide for his family. I had just watched the Hunger Games at the local cinema. It portrayed a surrealistic image of people living hand to mouth while a select few lived ‘high on the hog’. As my friend shared his struggle I honestly told him that the discussion about health care bothered me because most who have had resources in their lives can’t relate to someone who has never had the means to pay for health insurance that could be more than their monthly income.

As I looked into the eyes of my tall friend it was clear that he got it when it came to having next to nothing in his bank account. He understands the fear of not having anything to put on the table for dinner or snacks after school. Yes, poverty and hunger do exist in our community. I will be the first to admit that this type of hunger or poverty is not close to the scale that is found in third world countries but never the less it is real and people do go hungry and end up on the street.

I have been blessed to have resources that provide for the needs and wants of my wife, my family and myself. I am on a journey that God is convicting me, kicking my behind, to live on less, be more strategic in how I use the resources that I have been given and help others be more pro-active and not reactive to their circumstances. I am not a proponent that being rich is a sin nor being poor is more spiritual. I believe it is more an issue of understanding our calling to share our resources with others, i.e. our time, talents and treasures. The challenge is that it isn’t easy for someone who has means to understand what it would be like to have only $20 to your name and just discover that you have been laid off.

I also reacted to a good friend, who has struggled the last couple of years with having steady employment, who decided to buy an iPhone. Yeah, I have an iPhone and it is my little office away from the office but I have the means to pay for it. I use to always buy everything new but now have become a wise shopper who uses Craigslist and other online tools to find bargains that help me be more frugal. It isn’t easy to watch someone struggle with putting food on the table when they have foolishly wasted their money on some luxury or want and it is also tough to watch someone successful use their means to go overboard.

One of the paths I am pursuing is to connect the dots by having my variety of friends partner together to help promote responsibility and a passion for learning and achieving. A couple of my engineer friends are going to help birth a relationship between their company and one of my partner charter schools to give opportunities for teens to see the potential in getting into the high tech world. I have a high tech background and understand too clearly how difficult it is for my teens to do well in math and science without some help and mentoring. So all of a sudden I have an opportunity to connect my friends and see my teens and their friends be given an introduction into real life and what it takes to get a good job. Yes, it involves hard work in school and a sacrifice to be different.

I know that real life stories that made the movie, “Stand and Deliver”, are classic examples that ultimately everyone given the opportunity can strive for being more academically driven. The challenge when this movie was done and today hasn’t changed a lot when it comes to the perception of who fits in what type of job market. My desire is to get my youth who have little sense of vision to open their eyes and see that the world is nothing to fear but to attack with passion and do something that can make a difference in their worlds.

I know that there isn’t any easy solution to societal ills that cause poverty and hunger. My hope is to help those in my circle of friends realize that they can make a difference in someone’s life that will bring wholeness where there has been brokenness. Also, when someone has grown up without a dad or grandpa it isn’t easy to see much potential when it comes to their future forget talking about career choices. Yes, as my son the philosopher would say, “Life is a roller coaster that we have to choose to ride!”

Consequences!

As a kid growing up I was told that sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt you. I know that this is a myth that continues to be promoted. As I was driving one of my teens home from church she mentioned how one of our friends, that was new at her school, was being bullied by some gals at her High School. There is a new movie that is being shown in a few larger markets that targets this topic of bullying. There has been much media exposure to this topic sense the ongoing impact of bullying on High School and College Campuses.

I know that as a kid being raised in a military home that the topic of consequences for my choices was a common conversation. Obviously, if I applied myself and did well there were positive things that happened. I also understood that if I lied, stole or did something that I knew was wrong that eventually justice would happen. Obviously I didn’t want to be on the ‘wrong’ side of justice. I was raised in a time, different from today, where a belt or paddle were used in school to curb behavior issues.

The world is a stage where we unfortunately hear more about the tragedies than the sacrifices of so many that do make a difference in our lives. I know that it is overwhelmingly heart wrenching to hear about yet another shooting where many have been killed. It is difficult to digest after we are still fighting a battle over whether a young teen’s death was motivated by vigilantism, racism or an act of self-defense. I think most of us really don’t believe that our cyber-bullying really matters. Yet, a celebrity made an unfortunate choice to tweet out the supposed address of the individual involved in this shooting in Florida. The consequence of this poor choice is that an older couple, not involved with the incident, have had threats made on their lives and have had to move. The person who caused this has been forced to pay up.

Yes, choices do come with consequences! I know that living and working in a multi-racial community brings this to the forefront everyday. As I am having lunch with a couple of friends who work in the high tech world and have benefited from their educational and family background it is easy for us, as white males, to talk about the ills of either a fatherless neighborhood or rampant unemployment that is a by product of the housing industry’s death. It is too easy for me especially to blame someone for something they had little if anything to do with. Most of my teens are growing up in homes without dads, have little positive role models and next to nothing when it comes to a reason to stay in school and pursue college.

It’s true that if I choose to carry a gun there is a good possibility that it will go off and I will either shoot someone or be shot by someone with my gun. Much like when I post on Facebook or tweet there is a good possibility someone is going to be hurt and that might be exhibited in a violent action. (The suicide of college students or high school students because of FB posts is still difficult to understand but it happens.) The point is that I have to be aware that all of my choices and actions in life do count. I haven’t become a PS3 or Xbox fanatic but most 20-30 something males do live or die for the latest grand theft auto or…… Did the ease of killing on a large screen T.V. make it easier for someone to shoot someone else? You have to wonder at times?

I know that one of the ongoing issues I face daily is how a person’s attitude impacts their lives and the lives of those around them. I know that everyone wants attention, to be noticed and loved. This has nothing to do with age, economics or race. This is just normal life! I am always shocked, I shouldn’t be, when one of my little kids says something like, “Hey you fat and ugly!” to one of our larger teen guys. Is he saying this to pick a fight? Obviously not but it isn’t the best way to get attention or build a friendship, yet this little guy continues to do this. It would seem that he has been trained to act this way from birth.

I was very fortunate to have had a mom and dad that raised me to have a respect for life and an openness to see people as being people regardless of where they lived, how they dressed or what type of car they drove. Yet, both of them grew up in families that were racist and talked about the neighborhood changing or going down hill. My dad lived out a totally different attitude towards different people groups as I grew up. It isn’t easy to understand why some people make certain choices, which end up with a great life, amazing family and a legacy that will impact many and someone else leaves a trail of brokenness.

The great news in this story is that there is one who has come to deal with the brokenness of life and isn’t afraid of the real truth that most want to pretend doesn’t exist. As Easter fastly approaches us it is a time to remember that Jesus Christ is the one who was broken on our behalf so we might experience God’s reconciling peace. I know that I am in daily need of this peace that surpasses all understanding. So please think about what you say, how you say it and the circumstances surrounding those who cross your path each day. Please seek to be a resource and help and if you are to be a critic may it be in a constructive fashion.