Persistance is a good or bad trait?

If you were to interview the different interns that have worked with me all of them would say that Dave is really persistent. Once he connected with me he didn’t stop pushing or asking until I got involved. It is no different with my key leaders who first were volunteers that came to a single event such as a painting project. I can remember my first couple of painting projects that were outside our target area. When you look at the pictures there are a handful that have become my key leaders over the last 5 years.

I know that Jesus did respond to people that were persistent in bugging him. I can think of a parable about someone knocking at a neighbor’s door at midnight. They needed some food. If this had been me I would have turned over and gone back to sleep. Yet, because they were a friend and also didn’t stop they got what they needed and the friend stepped up to help. I also remember a real story of a non-Jewish lady asking for help from Jesus for her and her son. Jesus was slow to respond but her persistence and wit got Jesus’ attention and she got the crumbs from the table or floor.

So as I write about a couple of my New City friends, both kids, teens and adults, I shouldn’t be surprised that they follow my example, which is Jesus’ example. Yesterday I spent a good portion of the day, which I really didn’t want to do, with someone at the Social Security Office. I have had only ‘bad’ experiences in this office where they mess up one of my teen’s SSI. Yesterday was different so I am jazzed that he has his funding stream turned back on. While we were in the middle of doing this I started to get a call from one of my teens, which wanted me to deliver some food. I have asked this individual not to do this but eat what is in the house. I have tried to explain that I’m not the pizza delivery guy or his personal grocery shopper. Yet, he calls because he knows I care and sometimes I am a push over.

We take my dad out for a drive to get him out of his house. I still continue to get calls from this teen now up to call number 8. I don’t have time to respond but he knows that I’m busy and that he could defrost something in his frig and actually eat it. After a busy weekend I decide to take my Anne out for some Chinese. It was great just sitting and enjoying some great food and conversation. One of my friends, who works at Fresh and Easy, is out with her family. She is a very cheery person who has two little kids. She is from Vietnam and has different tastes than me so I’m not surprised to see, a plate full of crawdads that she explains are her kid’s favorite at the buffet.

As we are enjoying watching these little kids eat their crawdads I continue to get calls from my starving teen. I’m a little annoyed at this point. I’ve explained to him that when I’m finished that I will call and get him something. I wanted a peaceful evening with my Anne with no calls. Yet, our daughter calls with a panicked cry for help. She is having a new block wall put up and the neighbor isn’t cooperating and doesn’t want them to do it. So I enjoy talking and giving some practical tips on what to do. My contractor friend I know will help solve the problem with the help of the city. Yet, during this important conversation my teen continues to call.

We finish eating and watching our friend’s kids eat their crawdads and are ready to go home. So I ask my Anne what to do with this one teen that has called over 10 times about food and another teen that is homeless and needs a place to stay tonight. We do a quick drive by at Little Caesar’s and drop off the pizza and I give my usual spiel about stop calling so often and look in the frig for some food, talk to your mom and then the request for him to do work to pay off the food drop.

It is tough because at times people who have real needs are too embarrassed to ask for help and someone who doesn’t have a real need but a want can be really annoying. I have a good friend whose mom just died and is in the middle of a family feud where she is the target. I try to respond to her cries for help quickly. I do say often that the early bird catches the worm and if you snooze you lose.  So yes, persistence should be part of your life. Yet, please don’t call me 10 times about the same thing. 

Temper, Temper

This last week I have been in the middle of a couple of temper flare-ups. I was driving to my Starbucks at 6am after walking the dogs. I couldn’t believe that this one guy was so upset because I was driving probably 35 instead of 40 mph that he sped past me and preceded to both honk and extend his middle finger. My first reaction wasn’t to return a finger in response but to wave and honk back at him. As we approached the intersection the light had turned red and guess what, we were both at the light at the same time.

I’m sure that this individual was in a huge rush to get to work and truly believed that I was inhibiting his ability to get to work on time. Clearly he wouldn’t have admitted to the fact that he was late and could have gotten up a few minutes earlier and stopped a potential road rage incident from taking place. My father in-law has a tendency to overact at times to some of the crazies that drive around him in San Diego. I have a few memories of him speeding up to honk at the perpetrator. We did attempt to explain to him that this probably wasn’t a great idea since the number of shootings amongst road rage types has significantly increased over the years.

Last night we were in the park with a large group of youth that varied from the older girl group that loves to sit at a table and watch the traffic or guys. Another group that loves to work on crafts and use their minds and hands in a more constructive fashion. There is the usual sports group that loves to play football or soccer. Then there are the little guys who are like a herd of animals. They are a little gang that seizes the opportunity to find anything from spare change, actually one of these kids found $5 on Sunday afternoon, to just beating up on each other. One of the my favorite little guys ends up having his feelings hurt and allows his temper to take over. He’s sitting by himself sobbing because someone took advantage of him.

As the football game starts to take off with about 16 playing. It is easy to have the few superstar guys get all of the plays and the other teens to feel left in the dust. So it is no wonder that a few can get their tempers pushed to the limit. I have a few teens that definitely have anger issues and always get pushed to the edge for the silliest thing. The image that stands out last night is of a larger guy teen chasing one of the younger preteen gals. She had squirted him with a larger squirt gun and in his mind had ruined his mp3 player. He truly believed that justified chasing her around like a madman with the 3 gal igloo.

I know that in the past screaming at this teen doesn’t work and another older teen helped me get his attention amidst screams to slow him down and finally he stops. It’s like once his ‘on button’ has been hit that he comes totally unglued. I try not to analyze what happened and why he seems to have this rage within that wants to kill but that is his life at present.

This last week this same teen had gotten into it with his mom and older brother. He feels slighted in the family setting where everyone is always picking on him and trying to take away his freedom, food and remote control for the T.V. I had explained to him that walking away and taking deep breaths would help him not lose it and get himself in trouble.  This battle with his mom and brother seems to be ongoing so he continues to struggle with what to do. So one evening as I’m in the middle of my job-life skill group he calls at least 5 times before I answer. He is furious and ready to explode about his family. He tells me he has called the police and they are on their way. I knew that this police officer would show up and be at a loss as to what to do. Here are these three or four loud screaming types out of control. What actually happened is the mom and older brother get it together because of the police showing up and my teen continues to be overreacting. So ultimately the teen is left looking like the little kid out of control.

The outcome of a temper tantrum is that you lose control and have little sense of what is really happening. I know with this teen it is a common pattern that he gets picked on at school and is the one to always get in trouble while the real troublemakers get away with ‘murder’. I know that he thinks he is going to escape getting caught but his temper bursts are too loud and long. I know it is easy to make excuses as to why he is this way, such as the fact that he has grown up around a mom and siblings that are always on drugs, he is hyper active and should be on meds that clearly would help control these outbursts.

My hope is that as he grows up and sees that most of his temper bursts are more a byproduct of hormone rage and wanting to fight for his rights than really anything else. It’s tough growing up in a world where others are so quick to judge if you are overweight, don’t have a real iPod vs. mp3 or ran out of laundry detergent and your clothes stink. Yes, I admit that I too can lose my temper over the craziest things in life so I can’t judge to harshly my teen that was chasing around this other preteen. 

Why are there so many different beliefs?

I have been accused at times of being shallow when it comes to theological matters with my teens in the hood. I’m sitting at a McDonalds with a couple of my little guys; they are actually twins, doing this blog. A couple sitting next to me, in their late 20’s with a little baby are enjoying McDonalds and the guy quickly comes over to see if I can help him with his Cricket music phone. Obviously there is an issue with his Cricket service and being on Wi-Fi. I show him a few things and he still has issues. So I send him to the Cricket 800 number. I can usually answer most questions about computer stuff or point someone in the right direction.

I had a text from one of my teens that theologically ‘blew me away.’ I get texts from all ages of kids, teens and adults. Some are purely out of necessity, i.e. what are doing, where are we going or will you pick me up. I wasn’t prepared for this text that has caused me to slow down and think. He asked, “Why are there so many different beliefs?” He didn’t write this to trap me or trick me or put down the Gospel but in his own sincere way asked a rather deep question.

I have been thinking about how I can respond. I know that philosophically I can come back and explain how man since the beginning has been asking the question of where did I come from, who am I and what is reality or what is true? I also know that you can go on You Tube and find numerous clips that talk about how Atheism has become a popular belief system, that there isn’t a God and that I am the creator and master of my universe of life.

I was listening to the news yesterday morning before we took our dogs on a special walk and heard that some scientist had discovered the ‘God Particle’ or the Higgs Boson Model that now explains or attempts to explain how matter came into existence and some would say takes us back beyond Genesis 1. I know that this doesn’t answer my teen’s question but want to show how it is one of the more important questions.

What I would rather ask is why does anyone in today’s world believe in anything that is beyond materialism or a totally non-intelligent design model? What I want to tell my teen is the amazing fact that all people have a basic belief sense within them that becomes either a tension, especially for the Atheist, who wants to disprove the existence of God or a scientist who struggles with not having the unifying equation figured out after spending a lifetime in the University Lab. All of us have a conscience that gives us a sense of a moral compass that ultimately comes from our creator or designer – God.

I know that one of my favorite authors, C.S. Lewis, would start off with this moral argument for the existence of God as the path to help someone see that God exists. I also have other friends who quoting Lewis would also look at the argument from design to prove the existence of God. Regardless of what path you walk down to discover God’s existence at some point in your life a crisis or event will happen that helps you see the bigger picture in life, i.e. I’m a speck in comparison to the vastness of the universe. My body, mind, etc… are truly amazing so how can I come into existence by pure chance?

So why are there so many different beliefs? I know that God has given us by his design free will to think through the mysteries of life. These mysteries are addressed in many different religious and philosophical contexts. The question my friend was really raising is it possible for all of these different beliefs in today’s world to all be true? Do they all lead to the same view of life? Do they all affirm the same type of God?

It doesn’t take too long to catalogue all of the different views, practices and impact on the world to see that all of these views aren’t the same and lead to some similar outcomes and some that are opposed to one another.  So why are there so many different views about life? Is it possible for someone who was born in a North Korean Labor Camp to affirm a belief in God when all of his life he has been told God doesn’t exist and is a crutch for those living in the west. Just like attending a university for the first time you can be blown out of the water by a professor who talks over your head and totally dismisses any view of God. Yet, I have a good friend who was helped in a philosophy class and learned how to think and question about the meaning of life, its’ existence and its’ beginning. As his life unraveled with a lot of bad choices it forced him to think that there must be more to life than drugs, sex and loud music. The emptiness that typified his life wasn’t impacted by science’s quest for the unifying equation or philosophical determinism.

I have decided to not answer this question but challenge him to think through his beliefs and how they compare to other individual’s beliefs. Why do I believe this and not that? What are really key beliefs and what are secondary beliefs about God and life? As I ask these questions the whole notion of God comes to the forefront. I don’t have the answer to this timeless question. Yet, I know one who can help us understand both the mystery of life and the beauty of life. 

Perfect Day

Yesterday was one of those lazy days that only happen when you get a day to yourself and purposely choose to guard and protect it. I am so blessed to have an incredible wife who is truly my best friend, partner, fellow adventurer and soul mate. We rose early for a day off and decided to do something totally different. Our normal routine, which most think is crazy, is to rise at 4:30 and take our dog pack for a walk on the canal. We stop by Starbucks around 5ish and Anne goes home to shower and get ready for work. I help get her lunch together and then typically return to Starbucks around 6ish to blog, do e-mail and think about the day.

We drove a little extra distance for our adventure with our dog pack. The weather was different for your typical July 4^th. It was overcast and actually raining a little. We arrive at our wetlands site with it starting to actually rain. The dogs are thrilled and we are ready to park on the side of the road, get out and then jump over a little canal ditch. It takes about 15 minutes to walk to our special little area. This wetland obviously has been set aside by the park department with the help of ASU and others volunteering to make it an incredible little spot to stop and sit and enjoy the lake that has an assortment of ducks and other animals that is driving my Freckles crazy as she now sees and smells something totally different.

There is a little stream that goes through this area that was planned by some naturalist and now becomes our dogs moment to enjoy walking through the water and taking in the different smells from a drizzly morning. We had visited this site probably 4 months ago and it has changed a little bit since then. Some younger students had decorated large rocks to help mark off the path that goes around this little wetland. We are the only ones out on a holiday July 4^th Wednesday. Everyone else obviously is still in bed or thinking about what they are having for their BBQ later that day.

As we are walking back on the this path that goes by a very large open field where some type of special grass or wheat is growing it strikes me that I have an amazing best friend that won’t let me relax and get too comfortable with my life. She helps me deal with the tension between giving my all to my neighborhood kids and also giving myself to my kids. Clearly I love my family by my kids aren’t kids and are now grown adults that decide what to do at the last minute so including them in events isn’t always easy. We usually go to a July 4^th Fireworks display with a large group. The challenge today was the weather, which is a first for us. It actually rained the whole day into the night. I decided to skip the pyrotechnics and stay home. I decide to include grandpa. It has been awhile since he has been at the house because he wasn’t strong enough to get out of the car and maneuver with his walker into the house. So this July 4^th is special and will be remembered because grandpa being able to come and actually enjoy our BBQ.

As we watched The Patriot on netflicks it was a great way to remember what our country had accomplished in fighting for it’s freedom, the freedom which allowed me to choose to stay home and not do fireworks but enjoy a BBQ with my family and veg on the couch watching Mel Gibson play out a role that showed a Father’s Heart for his family. Yeah, I’m glad that it rained and that my Anne didn’t have to work so we could be together and enjoy an incredible day together. I am so blessed to have such an amazing life-partner.  I love her!

Molly

Over the last 4.5 years we have painted 60 houses in South Phoenix with most of them being for seniors. It will be two years since Mr. Sanchez went home to be with the Lord. The journey with his life and family has been an interesting part of my life. After painting his house, his was our 5^th house, I purposely connected with Al on a weekly basis and brought him a burrito or he made me lunch. Over the two years we hung out he read through the Bible we gave him. It was in both Spanish and English. Mr. Sanchez’s house had an assortment of problems that the city helped fix over the last couple of years.

I will remember being called by Mr. Sanchez a couple of times when he was at St. Joes and went to see him. I was shocked that he actually had my number. I become a special friend and his pastor. He has 5 daughters and a son. It was rather traumatic when he ends back in the ER with life threatening issues. The doctors after a couple of weeks suggest he go to Hospice for his final few weeks. I will remember the argument that erupted by the sisters about this. I tried to calm them down and help them see the Hospice facility was an incredible place for Al to experience his last few days on earth with his family before going home to heaven.

We were gone on vacation when Mr. Sanchez died and missed his funeral. The aftermath of Mr. Sanchez’s leaving was a battle between one of his daughters and the other four over his estate. I have been in the middle of this the last 2 years. It grieves me that Al’s memory is being slighted by one daughter who is using God as the rationale behind her taking his truck and selling it without permission of the other sisters and also attempting to sell his house.

As I think of Molly, another one of my painting grandmas, it grieves me that as she faces going into the presence of the Lord that her daughters are doing something similar to Mr. Sanchez’s family. We painted Molly’s house a year ago. She has been on dialysis the last five years. She is also a diabetic and has had failing health for some time. When we painted her house I also had some good friends do a video that featured Molly. She said something that will stick with me for the rest of my life. When asked what she thought of what we were doing she simply said, “This is beautiful!” Over the last year her daughter and her kids have become close friends.

As I received a phone call a few minutes ago and was told that Molly wasn’t going to make it I am thankful for a neighbor that told us to paint her house. We did paint her house but also put in a handicap ramp for her and another neighbor who is wheelchair bound. I knew that this call would come soon but didn’t expect it today. It is a cloudy outside with a few sprinkles so as Molly leaves this life and experiences a better life with Jesus I know that she will be all right. Yet, I also know that her daughters will fight over her house and possessions.

My hope is that Jesus words about overcoming the problems in this life will be the experience of Molly’s daughter who has cared for her over the last 5 years. I will miss seeing Molly but I know that I will see her smile in the face of her twin grandsons who are very much part of my life. I will miss you Molly! 

Do you really care about those around you?

As I was getting coffee for my Anne at our Starbucks I saw my friend, Officer S, sitting at a table reading on his Kindle as his shift finishes. He has become a good friend over the last 6 months as I have asked some tough questions in regards to some of my families and teens. We quickly caught up and I shared about seeing another officer on Saturday night that has also become a good friend. He was on special detail in an area where some of my teens live.

Our conversation varied between talking about the why question of the continued violence in the area. I can remember over the weekend having some guy flip me off and honk excessively because I chose to follow the speed limit in a school zone. Yesterday as I was driving past a bus another car passed me in the suicide lane as if I was standing still. I can see how road rage can happen rather easily.

Our conversation then transitioned to this officer’s faith walk and how it impacted his job. We talked briefly about the gospel helping us understand our brokenness and then the brokenness of those around us. We agreed that the solution to the violence begins first with addressing the brokenness of the families, the community, culture and the individual. My friend is involved in a church plant in the downtown that wants to be part of the diverse community that represents the downtown and even the hyper-diversity of South Phoenix.

The tone of our discussion changed to how it is difficult for the average Christian to understand that the need of those who recognize their brokenness isn’t to have a bigger paycheck, nicer house or newer car but a transforming relationship with Christ that then pushes them to live on the edge not in the comfort of consumerism or hedonism. I was impressed that my friend had read Tim Killer and understood the real drive of the gospel with God’s grace and mercy.

The sad reality, which he echoed with me, is that most Christians don’t give a rip about someone else who lives in a marginalized neighborhood that is a byproduct of my consumeristic appetite. How is it possible that I have any spiritual or moral responsibility for someone living on the street, a low-income family or a teen that overacted to someone at school and now is in jail? If you are like me in the past I specifically chose to be blind to the marginalized neighborhoods as I went to Starbucks, the mall or the gym. I allowed my schedule to stay busy so I didn’t have time to care or make a difference.

It wasn’t until I got involved with Habitat for Humanity that I started to experience multi-culturalism and real brokenness. It’s not that I’m the savior who has come to fix everyone but the reverse the one who sees his own brokenness and wants to be part of God’s solution which has everything to do with building relationships with those who are different from me in all ways of thinking. As I have walked down this path I have met some incredible people who are willing to get down and get dirty to see lives turned around.

As I just finished a conversation with a new friend. It struck me that not everyone wants to venture on the other side of the tracks or get sh…t on their shoes. My friend who is doing this is amazing. He could very easily stay in his nice neighborhood but has chosen to come to me and take a huge risk. We talked about whether what I do is safe and I was totally honest. Yeah, I have had things stolen from me and those in my group. Some in my group have stolen from each other and pretend that nothing has happened. Sure the immigration battle totally impacts my world and the families that live in fear and have teens who also aren’t legal and don’t know what to do.

What’s happening in my life is that I want to push people, especially Christ followers to give more than just a rip but give themselves to others. It is risky to be sure but in the end the most incredible experience is having my life impacted by someone before who I thought wasn’t good enough or too lowlife to be around. Jesus was pretty clear in saying if you wanted to show your love for him that love on those around you who are hungry, don’t have a home, need new clothes or give a cold drink to someone on the street. It is much easy to just live my life in a vacuum where I am purposely insulated from those in real need. This isn’t a socioeconomic thing but a choice to avoid any situation that might hurt me or cost me something.

So please see that God wants you to give a rip and do something versus watching life pass you along.