Graduatons

Over the next couple of weeks we will attend multiple graduations with thousands of family and friends watching their son or daughter walk down an isle with a cap and gown. I will have listened to numerous valedictorians that will be great and to the point and then there will be some older administration person who will talk too long and be boring. Yet, this is what makes graduations a rite of passage and tradition.

I know that all of my group that will graduation this year from 8^th grade through college will represent for most families the first to graduate from high school and especially college. I know that many today will bash our educational system and say that we are back in the dark ages when it comes to the level of education and expectations. I know that for most of kids who are now adults that they have faced difficult obstacles and have chosen to step up and not allow the influence of the slackers around them to stop them from being achievers.

My wife at times makes fun of 8^th grade graduations but I am beginning to see that it is so important to acknowledge the accomplishments of everyone. It is too easy to be someone that always is quick to judge or be negative. I know that too many of my kids and teens have been told that they aren’t too smart and they have been labeled under achievers or dumb. I what to be able to be a positive influence and motivator for a teen or little kid to keep trying and realize that life is full of set backs and that success doesn’t happen without failure.

As we paint six houses today with 150 volunteers I will be so excited to see the end result of the many hands that will have spent 2 hours painting and know that working together can produce huge results. I want my graduates to discover the same lesson in life. It’s not about you or me but about seeing a community grow and become healthier which translates into everyone from grandmas to the little baby understanding the real meaning and purpose of life.

I’m so proud of our graduates because they represent the hope of the future for many families. I know that finishing high school is huge in my neighborhood. I know that finishing your A.A. is an amazing accomplishment and that going to ASU and finishing your B.A. will be a first for all of these families.  Congratulations!!!!

The Real Super Heroes!

Yes, I actually went and watched in 3-D Ironman #3. It was rather interesting seeing the 3^rd installment of this avenger super hero. This was definitely a different take on the villain with a well- known actor being portrayed as the face of evil when he wasn’t much of anything besides a drunk with a variety of accents. My Anne unfortunately didn’t ‘hang’ too well with the 3-D aspect of the movie and ended up feeling a little dizzy. I can remember a decade or more ago doing Magic Mountain with our son and she ended up on the sideline for the day.

My real point today is that we are surrounded by super heroes that just don’t look like the movie version. These are normal people that live extra-ordinary lives by doing simple things extra-ordinarily. This morning I will meet two of my super helpers who are always quick to volunteer to do the behind the scenes dirty work of prepping houses for our painting blitzes. They get up early and gather all of their cleaning and yard tools. They are a joy to work with a great motivation to me to keep doing community work.

This last Sunday I had one of my grandmas come to our BBQ at our house. We typically have 30-40 teens and youth. It is a lot of fun but can be rather wild because of the kid factor. Doris is such a trooper she comes to everything whether she ‘feels’ great or not. It is always such a blessing to see her smile and quick wit to put some of our teens in their place. She is taking care of a few 90 something. She does this out of the kindness of her heart. I pray that as she enters into her golden years that she has someone step up and care for her in the same fashion.

I have a couple of what I call my normal moms who have kids, husbands that work full time and are involved helping with everything. I’m impressed when they volunteer to bring home made cookies for our last tutoring session. I’m impressed when I get a text from another single mom who always is quick to volunteer to make rice, beans or whatever I need for any large gathering. She has made enough for 100’s when we do our painting blitz lunches.

My real dream is that my kids becomes like one of my Hispanic mom’s who went out of her way to help her son get his Deferred Dream Act Card and then his Social Security Card. I love it when I see normal people do ordinary things in an extra-ordinary way!

Justice and Snitching

We had our life skill group at my Starbucks last night and talked about justice and why being a snitch is considered such a bad thing in today’s world. I had talked briefly before about the impact of the Boston Bombing and whether most people ran to help or ran to escape from helping. My hope is writing and talking about this is to better highlight our need to help the hurting and not be those who hurt those who need help in life circumstances. The reality is that being a bully has become a popular past time of too many.

One of our teens was quick to share a story about how his older brother bullied him when he was 5 years old. His big brother had smashed a cockroach and then proceeded to pick him up and put his face on it. It was clear from the loud ahhh that this was gross from the group’s reaction that everyone agreed that this was truly a horrible thing to do. This teen was obviously impacted and scarred from this bullying experience. The real discussion focused more on what is real justice – coming to the aid of those who can’t help themselves who have been wronged. Our topics went from taking advantage of seniors, racism, sexism and even immigration issues of illegals being targeted.

I had one of our college interns, who is from Philadelphia, talk about how common it would be to have someone attacked in public during daylight and have a crowd gather and not do anything. Most when asked if they would dial 911 or step up and scream clearly thought that this was what everyone should do. Yet, the reality is that everyone thinks that somebody else is going to call 911, step up to help but instead runs in the opposite direction. It is too easy to close your window, drive by the accident or look the other way when something bad is happening.

I know that the real topic amongst teens is that they don’t want to snitch because someone might choose to retaliate against them and they could get hurt for being the rescuer. I turned the tables on them and asked what would it be like if you were the one being attacked, made fun of, being discriminated against or being bullied on FB? I have to believe that no one wants to be attacked physically or even more so verbally. One of our adult helpers was quick to say that it was more likely to have someone gossip or post something awful on Facebook that wasn’t true and have a bunch of friends that believe what was posted.

I know that self-sacrifice and taking risks are not popular in today’s society, especially among the youth culture. The point, which is a tough one is that sometimes we have to stand up and make choices that aren’t popular to help the person who has been left out, marginalized or has real life issues. Doing what’s right isn’t always popular or easy but what we should do. I know that most have heard the stories now of the individuals who ran back to help those injured by the Boston Bombers. What these people saw will leave an indelible image on their minds for the rest of their lives. The reality is that many would more would have died or been injured even more severely if these people had chosen to run in the opposite direction.

Yeah, I think Jesus would be a snitch but in a different way. He would choose to be someone who helps those who have been hurt and choose to confront those who are the bullies in today’s society. So I asked the question, “Are you the helper or the hurter?”

The Power of Volunteerism!

We live in an age of specialists. The notion that anyone can help and make a difference has unfortunately been too often lessened because of our hyper focus on specialists who have the education and training. Don’t misunderstand me, I do see the importance of training and education but too often this becomes a stumbling block for those who want to volunteer to help with at risk youth. I hear too often I’m not a teacher so how could I ever be a tutor, mentor or special friend?

The last couple of weeks I’ve had a few new volunteers who come in quietly and rock the world of some of my kids. These are the type of volunteers that change the world I live in because they don’t ask questions but just do it! Too often I get volunteers that are very well intentioned but get lost in the maze of asking too many questions that get them away from the simple task of making a friend with a little kid, teen or college student.

Our goal is to see ‘paying it back’ become a common mindset both among our youth and our volunteers. We have so much to be thankful about in our lives that is a byproduct of someone else sacrificing their time, talent and treasures for us. I want my kids and teens to see living examples of adults and college students who love to give and in the end they receive just as much as they have given. The difficulty is that we live in a day and age where ‘getting’ is so much more important than helping. We typically don’t do anything unless we see what’s in it for us.

I’m thankful for many new and old friends who are discovering the power of choosing to get involved and see the dividend of how your time will impact the life of an at risk youth that otherwise would be a statistic. So here’s a shout out to many like Ed, Laura, Shannon, Evie, Thad, Grace, Gary, Jenessa, Felicia, Nikki, Sandra, Megan, Melanie, Davina, Tiffiny, Taylor and the list would continue for pages. You have shown how one person can make a difference. My kids and teens are the better because of your choice to listen, learn about them and help them right where they live. 

Lone or Lame Duck?

I will be the first to admit that I believe I’m capable of going 24-7 without much rest. As I age my past life style choices do catch up with me. I do get tired and actually collapse from exhaustion after a marathon painting blitz or like this week a basketball tournament that saw me getting up at 5am and then getting home around 6:30pm. I love what I do but see in God’s providence our need to have consistent rest and times to get away from the action.

I kidnapped my Anne for the night and we are at a fancy resort because of a very discounted price on Kayak. It’s my Anne who is the superstar that did an all night shift at Good Sam doing spiritual care non-stop from 8pm to 8am. Then she arrives home and I give her about an hour to get rest and then off to our Korean Church for doing worship together. I knew that she might end up nodding off during the service but didn’t. (I know that I would have been doing the hand jerk thing where you put your head on your hand and occasionally you doze off and your hand and arm collapse.)

After arriving for our staycation I let my Anne take a real nap for a couple of hours to recharge her battery. We had a pleasant evening getting dinner, nothing fancy only burgers at the Habit and then watching some rather esoteric PBS T.V. show that reminded me of Downton Abby. I persevered and then we actually went to bed instead of staying up until midnight with the awareness that our herd of dogs would wake us at dawn for a walk.

As I write this my Anne is actually sleeping in and hopefully won’t feel guilty or have a hangover. We find it difficult to sleep beyond 6am and have this sense of horrible guilt if we are still in bed around 8am. It is difficult for us to stay in bed past daylight because our dog herd will be licking us and attempting to get us out of bed. I know that sleep is rather an amazing creation by God that forces us to literally stop everything and be still. I can’t fathom what it would be like to actually keep going 24-7 and never stop for sleep.

I do know that some of our teens and young adults have attempted to stay up for a few days in a row doing video games. I know that the latest version of Black Opps whatever tempted many to play until their eyelids had to be glued open. I can remember in my college days doing a few all nighters to be ready for tests. It was my architect roommate who always had projects that required extended hours. I’m thankful that I don’t have to work or live this way unless I choose on a rare occasion to stay up way too late.

I’m thankful for being able to allow my Anne an opportunity to sleep in and not feel guilty and be refreshed. She deserves a break and a chance to get recharged!