Connect the Dots!

I go back and forth from getting frustrated or even angry with many who always wait till the last minute for everything. Its one thing when it’s something not too important but when it is about work, family or emergency health care there isn’t any excuse. I think most of us can remember the thrill as a little kid having either a puzzle we put together or a connect the dot sheet. It was always fun and interesting to see the result.

I think procrastination isn’t limited to any ethnic group or socio-economic level but a by product of how you were raised and your perception of whether you see yourself as someone that is able to succeed or most likely will fall on their face. I just finished dropping a teen at a community college to enroll for school. This individual had done most of his homework, like financial aid, doing placement tests but hadn’t bothered to actually select classes. I had pestered this individual over the last couple of weeks to do something and not let this slide. The individual was quick to admit that procrastination is part of the issue.

I think what is often so tragic is that someone will do the majority of work for some important aspect of life and then leave the last few details go and not finish. Why would someone go to the trouble of doing a great resume, do job hunting online, go into a potential work place in person and then when they get a call for the interview sleep in or totally forget about it?

I also see the power of what can happen when someone connects the dots and follows through will simple life decisions that aren’t rocket science. I had another individual that really wanted a job so bad that they talked about it, did applications all of the time, went to potential places of employment dressed for success and then the day came, yes, an interview and this individual nailed it. It did require going through what seemed like useless training but ultimately the job is real and there is a paycheck both in the bank but more importantly in life lessons learned.

The biggest frustration for me is seeing too many who have potential, both adults and youth, choose not to do the simple things and then make excuses about the big things that stop them from connecting the dots. I have been around too many that allow the voices around them to stop them from following through and seeing the bigger picture of what could happen with their lives. I get angered and upset when I see someone throwing away their life and the excuse is always someone else’s fault and they are too willing to sit on the sidelines watching others finish while they put their lives on hold.

I also have a few in my life that are younger that have connected the dots and are doing something that not only helps themselves figure out their life passion but also does something for a friend or relative. I’m always jazzed to see someone who is willing to step up and help someone else regardless of their cost and time involved.

The real question most of us face is whether we are willing to be honest about our newest phase in life.  Are we living on the sidelines with a complacent mindset or asking for help and listening to those around us to see the dots connect right before our eyes? It doesn’t matter whether we are a CEO or someone struggling to get our G.E.D. at 40. Connect the dots and see your life rock the world!

Take a break - the world will survive without you!

Is it possible in today’s stay connected high tech world to walk away for a day from everything? Just finished an article that in theory was touting Apple and Steve Jobs as birthing a new religious movement. The author initially cites some ancient Greek myth that gave the impression that writing and keeping records in the form of books diminished the mind’s ability to think, remember and be articulate. I confess that my wife at times truly believes that I couldn’t relax without my mac air or ipad mini at my side.

As we are driving to Flagstaff for the day to get away and disconnect I get a barrage of texts from a few that give the impression that their lives are coming to an end if I don’t respond. I tactfully tell the first individual that we are gone and talk on Monday. The other, a teen, is more persistent and I explain that I can’t help put power back onto his empower box from Flagstaff. We eventually arrive in the high country and for the next 6 hours enjoy an incredible view at the top of the San Francisco Peaks.

I have grown accustomed over the last couple of years to do stayvacations so we get an inexpensive room at one of the nice local resorts. I’m actually learning to unwind by swimming, napping and reading. I know that none of these activities are anything revolutionary but the reality is that the tether from the iPhone to my side is difficult to disconnect. So I’m starting to think the article that was touting any technological advancement would impact our religious or ontological understanding of life might have some merit!

As we are enjoying a panoramic view from the top of the San Francisco Peaks at 11,800 feet we are asked by a couple of teens to take their pics. After taking the pic on an older camera I ask the typical Dave question, ‘where are you gals from?’ The response began a conversation that lasted more than 30 minutes. I know back home I would have had another appointment that would have limited my ability to listen and ask questions. What Anne and I discovered was that both of these teens, which are Americans, had grown up overseas and were in a totally different world. They were more apt to talk about how they had grown up without T.V. or texting or even social media, as we know it. Yes, they seemed rather normal and capable to talk and interact.

I know that one of the key ingredients of being a person who can live their passions is knowing when it is time to get some rest and relaxation and not be on an Adeline high. I recently had a conversation with a close friend who had been living in South America doing mission work and was in the process of transitioning back to the States. We were talking about the need for down time and a way to allow our family to be more prepared to re-enter a different world. One of the key leaders that was helping with the transition for my friend had boasted about not needing a vacation and as my friend shared this I knew that something was off.

It is a rather humbling experience to come to the conclusion that the world will go on if I escape for a full day or God forbid a week. I’m discovering how taking reading breaks during the day has helped me be more fresh and capable of facing tough situations where there is lots of tension and no apparent solution to someone’s family meltdown. So I admit that the apparent religious paradox of the old marketing tool of the mac guy being the good guy and the pc guy being the evil one clearly is outdated. So take a break and at least put on hold the latest article on business management or leadership strategy. Life will go on and your mind might be more exercised with a good conversation that having you iPad glued to your face. 

Pray or at least think about it!

I know that it is politically incorrect to talk about prayer on social media for some. My hope is to rattle a few to rethink their view of life in this blog. There have been studies done under clinical conditions that attempt to prove if prayer has any impact on circumstances. I have spent most of my life working with youth and adults that are in very difficult circumstances. I know that it can be rather easy to say ‘I’ll pray for you’ and then walk away.

I want to challenge everyone to see the obvious need and benefit of being better at communicating with those that are in your circle and then also for those that are on the fringe of your circle of friends. I have observed that God’s answers to my prayers typically aren’t what I expect but have more to do with me changing my attitude and willingness to step up and do something. I have heard many say that it is so important to put ‘feet’ to your prayers. We don’t live in a vacuum so when someone calls me and says that their son has been running away on and off, I don’t say hey I’ll pray for him and oh by the way have a great day. Instead, I ask if it is ok to get together soon and listen to each other.

Yesterday I was able to see answers to some rather amazing prayer requests. I have a friend who is being evicted from their home. I didn’t have money to help but did something as simple as talk to the property manager and get them to flex a little more and then the pressure of moving changed and the fear of being sued was gone. I had another circumstance that was just as difficult with a good friend and their mom. The likelihood of a parent being able to really listen to their adult child is very tough. Yet, after listening and talking for a couple of house our goal of hearing and being more transparent was beginning to happen.

Today I had texts from a couple of moms about teens that were running away or disappearing for a day or two and then coming back. I don’t know what is going to happen. I know that I have asked a few close friends to pray and I have also reached back to the teens that are hurt and confused to help get them a little perspective on life, such as running away without a job, support structure or money in your pocket isn’t smart. I see that as I pray and ask for prayer it forces me to be more honest about myself. Yeah, I know that at times I drove my kids, now adults, a little crazy because of choices I made that impacted them.

One of the more difficult lessons in life is understanding that everyone experiences brokenness in relationships all of the time. One of the key signs of a healthy person is someone that is willing to acknowledge their brokenness and then take steps not to fix those around them but look in the mirror. I don’t like looking in the mirror because it reminds me that I have gray hair, some wrinkles and that I could be in better shape. I don’t need someone reminding of these things, yet, I do need someone to affirm me, love me, choose to be around me and ultimately encourage me.

So yes I think you should considering praying, even if you don’t necessarily know God intimately and discover what can happen. It is too easy to be an island and a lone ranger type that ends up being alone in their brokenness. My hope is to see God shed lots of light on the great fortunate of communicating better and allowing others to see you on the inside where life isn’t so great. So I know that my prayers are more likely change me then those whom I’m praying for! Pray!

Understand?

I know that at times I have high expectations and can get frustrated or even mad when circumstances don’t go the way I would like. It isn’t easy living in a world where some are really interested in making a difference and the majority is along for the ride. I have high hopes that those who are standing around watching others take life by storm will at some point in their lives be drawn into doing something to make a difference instead of sitting around and watching.

I had a tough situation today where I had asked someone to help with doing some work and would get paid. I had hoped to get this work accomplished before lunch when I was still around. The challenge was that by the time I got a text from this individual I knew that nothing was going to happen today.  It was apparent that my friend had a bad morning and crashed and burned.

I understand that life has too many curve balls that at times are our fault and other times it is just circumstances we can’t control. I had another call from a friend who is being evicted from their house in the next few days. The property management individual I initially thought was being rather pushy and mean. I agree to intervene with this individual and end up e-mailing and then calling. After talking with this individual I come to the conclusion that he is actually not a bad guy and the homeowner is actually being fair and gracious. All of the problems will be resolved in a few days and there will be no need for getting angered any longer.

It is too easy to jump to conclusions about others when you don’t have all of the information and are better able to understand and show some grace. The challenge is choosing to not make a life or death issue out of something that isn’t life threatening.  So today I let go of being upset or disappointed with a friend that flaked out and another friend who had been going through some really tough circumstances. I hope that both of these friends realized that I too could lose it and be on the out at times.  

Game Changer or Dropout?

I just finished a couple of books that put me to shame when it comes to being proactive and willing to step up and make something happen with your life. Why is it the case so often that most people are waiting for life to happen? Do you ever catch yourself thinking that if only I had this job, this amount of resources or that special degree then my life would amount to something? I know that there has been much said about just do something that matters or the Nike slogan – DO IT!

I listened to someone on my cell last night for an hour that has a grand vision of doing something that for all apparent common sense is something that is outside their ability. I also received a LinkedIn message from a good friend who has lived his dream between being a husband, dad, CEO, making it financially, birthing businesses, going to seminary, birthing a church and turning an old bar into an amazing coffee shop and church. What determines whether someone is able to live their dreams or ends up on the street?

I read a couple of books written by 20 something’s and old baby boomers. The common thread is being able to dream and not being afraid to step out and do it regardless of how often you fail. I live in a world where excuses seem to justify why both youth and adults don’t do much of anything. I know that not everyone is gifted to be a self-starter that is able to make something happen out of nothing. The bottom line which all of those with a passion to make a difference is that they call the rest of us to do something with our lives that goes beyond making money, raising a family or being a C.E.O. or president.

The other thread that seems to be a critical factor in changing from being someone that is prone to make excuses to someone who is a doer and change agent is that you have experienced real failure. It is hitting your head up against the wall over and over that drives you to do something different, ask for help and keep trying regardless of what others might say. I know that it isn’t easy to see the future today but if you have you hit bottom often then you will be motivated for obvious reasons to keep doing it.

I know that one of the most difficult aspects of life is being more open to be honest and transparent about your own strengths and weaknesses. It is too easy to cover up your shortcomings or brag about what you think you great at doing. The reality as I watch many with limited resources change the world around them is that if you are really committed to be a game changer then you will never take no for an answer and you will face your greatest fears without making excuses or blaming someone else.

Yes there are a few who will change the face of the world in a larger then life context. Yet, the reality for most is that our world is the neighborhood we grew up in or the workplace we have lived around for years. I believe that being a change agent is seen in impacting ONE life where someone who was a quitter and excuse machine now has become someone that is taking ownership for their lives. They go from being couch potatoes that are too consumed with texting or video games to someone that will make time to get involved and give of themselves.

The question you and I face is whether we are going to take the challenge to do something that matters with our lives? I tire of watching too many people be spectators in life watching others do it while sitting in the bleachers. So what will it be? Game changer or dropout?