Hope – fact, fantasy or only for those that hustle?

Yesterday I was surfing through a few TED talks and happened to listen to Casey Gerald who talked about the gospel of doubt. He is clearly a gifted speaker and writer who walked through his life experience within the church and how his church family faced the Y2K hope of Jesus’ return. His view of God, the church and his own faith changed after the clock went past midnight and there wasn’t a rapture. He went from being someone that put all of his hope in the Bible, God and Jesus to someone that saw doubt as being real and let go of his childhood beliefs.

He transitioned from preaching a gospel about change through Jesus to self-transformation through being someone that took advantage of opportunities. Yet, our shared reality is that everyone doesn’t choose to be a hustler and those that wait discover that little ever happens in their favor. So what is the essence of hope and does it have any relevance to the believer, secularist or out right pagan any more?

I quickly discovered in college while doing a philosophy degree that faith or hope for the sake of belief didn’t necessarily give someone help or assurance that tomorrow would be better. The secularist, atheist or nonbeliever would ultimately see that tomorrow’s hope is a byproduct of their own effort, circumstances around them such as their family, friends and work associates and then just out right chance or for believers God’s providential care.

I have been around too many people that have placed their hope in the future in someone else’s hands that usually doesn’t share a passion for them and in the end little or nothing happens that brings a better tomorrow. I have personally experienced the positive impact when someone you trusts does follow through and walks with you through life’s tough times. The end result usually is that I have shared my load or burden with a friend that has helped me see the light at the end of a tunnel of discouragement.

So is hope just some mysterious cosmic force that gives us the extra ‘kick’ to do something that’s not in our skill set? Is it possible for someone who isn’t part of the faith community to share a hope for the future to be brighter and better? I do believe that hope transcends beliefs, race, socio-economic settings and educational backgrounds. I know that there is tangible evidence of the intangibles in life! It’s so easy to say that you love or care for someone. Yet, it’s the actions that one lives out that affirms that love or care. Hope in many ways is similar in that it’s a coalescence of one’s personal values, beliefs and choices. I can have a hope in God in my own context that is real regardless of what those around me would debate.

I know that looking back at the world wars or present setting with terrorist attacks that the tension between evildoers and the average person is clear. Mankind seems to stand up together to face and fight the evil around us. I appreciate Eugene Peterson’s Message translation of Hebrews 11:1 that is the classic definition of hope:

1-2The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we can’t see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd.

So is it possible in today’s eclectic world setting to live between faith, hope, doubt, belief and lack of belief? My life, no different from anyone else, is a byproduct of my faith in God, my ongoing doubts about my own abilities and those around me. Yet, in the bigger picture of reaching senior status I do see so much benefit from my faith journey even in the midst of life trials, almost losing our first born to being too premature to facing the battle of cancer with my mom to my dad’s decline and death because of dementia. I know that it’s possible to face the ‘bad stuff’ that is disappointing and faith challenging and see looking back in the rear view mirror of life that a belief in God is still a common thread in our society. I also see man’s sense of hope in humankind as a significant factor in choosing to not give up or quit in difficult circumstances.

Doubt doesn’t have to push anyone to being a ‘doomsday’ advocate but instead someone that sees faith, hope and doubt as a normal part of everyone’s life.  Yet, I was saddened to hear one of my 60 and 70’s rockers took his own life because he was no longer able to meet the expectations of his fans. Clearly discovering your own faith, belief and hope is essential for having a great life that is able to face both the storms and victories each day!

Does being a true leader require honesty and humility?

Think for a minute about the people that have truly had an impact on your life.  I believe that the people that have impacted my life and yours in a significant way typically are not your big mouth, arrogant, bombastic types! Contrast for a minute the Mother Teresa types and then our more recent presidential candidate who is more like what I mentioned above. Why does it seem to be the case that too often the assumption that to succeed in business or life you have to be a loud mouth and pushy type to get something done? Whereas the reality is that the real doers in the world are not out to get credit or attention but to serve in a very humble fashion more concerned about others then themselves.

What I think is fascinating is to listen to this one presidential candidate squirm when asked spot on whether he has ever messed up, asked for forgiveness and made an apology? The tragic news is that this individual seems to perceive himself as to being nearly perfect. Is it not the case that many have repeated the phrase often that to ‘err is human but to forgive is divine’? So sadly in today’s leadership paradigm for many what’s missing is honesty and humility! Most of us have had the misfortunate of working for a taskmaster type of person. I don’t consider them real leaders and the fall out in the work place is that morale and a passion for work and life is missing in the culture of these businesses.  

I have so much appreciated the work of many like Susan Cain and Adam Grant types that are making the case that true leaders can be the quiet, persistent, honest and humble people that consider others first before themselves! As my mom would always tell me that honesty was the best policy to have in life! She would also be quick to say in her own way that it was important to admit to your personal screw-ups in life.  (Simply put be humble and real!)  She would make the case that this was also best for your personal mental stability. Otherwise you had to always be watching your back because eventually your lack of humility and honesty would catch up with you.

I know that it’s still so easy to make false assumptions about people types and whether they would make great leaders. We forget that what’s more important in life and leadership is character, integrity or simply put being honest and humble. It’s time to stand up to the bullies in life not by shoving, pushing or kicking them out of the way but instead by your amazing example of being the true leader that doesn’t seek credit, fame or fortune but serves without expecting anything in return! This doesn’t mean that you aren’t communicating in the marketplace, neighborhood, church or even in a TED talk but that you choose to be yourself, not an imitator or clone of some celeb.

So the real question is what type of leader are you aspiring to become? I know that the people who have impacted my life the most more recently have been seniors that are involved with doing community work. They don’t necessarily say a lot nor are necessarily going to win awards for elocution but their choices, actions and involvement in the neighborhood has left a lasting impact. I was so jazzed when a new recreation center in Phoenix was named after one of my local heroes, Fay Grey!

Yes, true leadership is all about being humble and honest!

Tell me and I forget but involve me and I learn!

I must confess that I’m like most that get bored rather easily when it comes to the typical classroom type of learning scenario. Why is it the case that our educational system continues to use outdated methodology to train up the kids who will become the leaders of tomorrow? As I begin the grandpa journey of watching my grandson grow up I want him to love life and love to see learning as something for a lifetime. Yet, I know that the major responsibility of training a child isn’t in the typical classroom but out in the real world with mom, dad and clearly the GRANDPARENTS!

Take a minute and consider who has influenced you the most when it comes to loving your life and becoming a life long learner regardless of your age and educational background. I had already finished a science degree before I was influenced the most about real life learning! Don’t get me wrong the education I received at Cal-Poly SLO town was exceptional! Yet, it wasn’t until my religious studies and philosophy degree at San Jose State University that I was taught how to learn outside the box!

It was one of my religious studies profs, Richard Keading, who believed that learning was seldom accomplished in the classroom but out in the real world. I’m so grateful for this former priest turned PhD Theologian who invited us into his home for wine, cheese and a vibrant discussion about life, death and before blogging was popular how to journal via Alan Progoff. I had been accustomed to grueling tests in my Biochem studies that caused you to lose sleep. Whereas Dr. Keading created an environment where tests were actually a time of sharing in a group context what you had learned, what challenged you the most and what was your take away.

I remember laughing with a few fellow philosophy buds how much fun college had become with this one prof! Yes, we still wrote papers that ranged from a few pages to I think my longest was over 25! Remember this was the pre-fossil or dinosaur era before PC’s or the first Apple II was for sale. My take away from all of this is that the best and most effective way of teaching is always outside the classroom in the real world where the stars shine at night, the Grand Canyon or Half Dome take away your breath and inspire you to do something that before you considered impossible!

I know that writing was never my real passion in undergrad but it was after my philosophy degree that my Anne’s influence in my life helped me to learn how to see what others would miss! So I really applaud teachers and parents who challenge and direct their students and kids to pursue excellence but to never define what learning looks like for them. So it’s amazing to see an older adult who couldn’t read learn one page at a time how to decipher words and then in time express their hearts in a written form. Much like I long for the day when my grandson will both sit in my lap and read about lions or marine fish but will also walk with me at the zoo or the big aquarium that’s being build.

I confess to being a Mac guy that does believe that creativity can be real for everyone but you have be willing to dive into the arts and not worry about what others think or say. I applaud the life example of so many of my mentors and teachers in life who brought to life for me the stark reality that learning happens best by being involved in a hands on fashion where you actually do something instead of just talking about it.

This last Saturday I forced a couple of my teens to get up in the pre-dawn hours to help with doing a large concrete job. We poured a large room addition that required almost 30 yards of concrete. These two guys were initially clueless about how to shovel or wheel concrete but by the end of the day they were starting to figure it out! I had talked about what we were going to do but it made little sense to these youngsters. It wasn’t until Isaiah dumped his first wheelbarrow of concrete that he figured out the art of pushing a load and dumping it into the footing instead of on his foot!

So please quit lecturing and start involving me in what you want me to learn!

Put down that smartphone and LIVE in the moment!

I will be the first to admit that too often my iPhone takes my focus away from what is actually happening around me. Yes, I’m great at using my camera phone but as my wife would say why don’t you look up and see the incredible sunset instead of texting or checking the latest status update on FB or LinkedIn. What happened to actually engaging someone in a real conversation? I know that the attention span of most is unfortunately just a few minutes because of our high tech hyperactivity.

I’m fortunate to be around a lot of seniors that don’t have cell phones and yearn for just an ear to listen, a smile and a warm handshake. So why do we, myself included, have to be so busy and too quick to have our iPhones attached to our hands and can’t just disconnect from social media and our business to actually enjoy a real conversation? What’s the big deal about the latest celeb hype or the playoffs in the NFL? Does my life really depend upon the outcome of the Superbowl?

What happened to investing in real friendships where the focus isn’t on a smart phone but the other person’s expressions? This hit home the other day when my wife in tears expressed how she loved our New Year’s Eve celebration that was just being at home by ourselves without any distractions. I know that for most type A’s, this is who I am, that it is so difficult to be still and let go believing that the world can go on without me. I had this incredible sense of enjoyment last night when I sat on our backyard patio looking at the palm trees we had just planted.

I did the Rock and Roll ½ Marathon last weekend and what stood out was how a large group of people, over 25K, were able to walk, jog and run without having their smartphones attached to their ears. Instead the focus was on a significant cause, raising funds to fight cancer and remember a loved one who had battled cancer. This has become a yearly practice for me, as I purposely want to remember my mom and her battle with cancer over the last decade.

I can’t fathom my mom’s response to me if during her last few months I had sat with her on the couch with my iPhone stuck to my face. I can hear my mom saying to me that if I really wanted to be with her I would put down that ‘damn’ cell phone and give her my full attention ‘eye ball to eye ball’.

Time to live in the moment instead of trying to get the perfect picture to remember something that I really didn’t see because I was too busy trying to capture the moment.  Thanks mom for helping me see that old school is really old!

What defines your life? Karma or Grace? Listen to Bono explain.

If you were to step back for a few and be totally honest I think you will agree that most people live their lives according to Karma. I think most regardless of age or background believe that people ultimately deserve what they get. If you are a nice person then clearly nice things will come your way of if you are that sinister bad type of person than a ‘crappy’ life awaits you.

The difficulty with this mentality is that too often bad people win and good people lose.  It shocks me at times how some of my friends live in the revenge get even mindset where the second you push them the wrong way they are ready to go after you.  I know that patience and forgiveness can only go so far with this type of mindset when someone will give you a few chances to do it right before they totally write you off.

Over the last week there has been a bus strike in Phoenix that has caused my wife and I to be taxi service to a large group of students and adults. We don’t mind doing this for a short period of time. The challenge was that a couple of times something happened, miscommunication, where we went to pick someone up and they had already gotten a ride or their phone was off and there was no way for us to know they were ready to get picked up. This scenario could have caused long term heartache if there wasn’t a grace-centered approach to life on all ends!

I’m so appreciative of Bono from U2 to help delineate the difference between grace and karma and what defines his life and so much hope defines your life!

Bono’s take on grace: “It’s a mind-blowing concept that the God who created the Universe might be looking for company, a real relationship with people, but the thing that keeps me on my knees is the difference between Grace and Karma…

You see, at the centre of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you; an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics – in physical laws – every action is met by an equal or opposite one.  Its clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the universe.  I’m absolutely sure of it.

And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that “As you reap, so will you sow” stuff.  Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I’ve done a lot of stupid stuff.

That’s between me and God. But I’d be in big trouble if Karma was going to finally be my judge. I’d be in deep shit. It doesn’t excuse my mistakes, but I’m holding out for Grace. I’m holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross because I know who I am, and I hope I don’t have to depend on my own religiosity.

 So what defines your life?