Search for Significance

I have had the privilege of attending the CCDA Conference over the last 4 days in Cincinnati, Ohio. It has been a great time of worship, teaching and being convicted. It is truly great to be around people who are like minded that have a passion for God’s heart of justice and mercy. One of the speakers that struck home the most was Bart Campalo who lives in Cincy and loves on a specific neighborhood.

I see something in my life and others where we want recognition about the work that we do. It is so easy to be in the comparison mode as believers where we want to always top someone’s work or ministry. I noticed in the worship list a mention of a name from my past, Jill Shook. I thought what are the odds that this is the same Jill from my Cal-Poly days. She had actually made something for our wedding. As I walked into the seminar it was obvious that she was a real leader in the affordable housing movement in southern Cal. I was humbled to see her list of accomplishments via a simple google search.

What struck me as Bart spoke was that he was a realist who wasn’t going to brag about a miracle but more app to talk about the shortcomings in life and that crap happens more often than not. If my life is really about pursuing attention and significance than I am working against the Gospel and Jesus. I know that so often I have this sense of whether spending time with my Black Grandmas or Art my crippled friend or taking lunch to Mr. Sanchez is truly something worthy of my time and energy. I was thinking about all of the different kids we see each week and whether I should limit my efforts to a few that I deem to worthy of my energies or whether the ‘demon’ girl with a foul mouth that is only 5 years old deserves just as much of my attention as do the couple of girls who got straight A’s last year in High School?

Most people, regardless of spiritual condition, truly believe that some people are more worthy of help than others. We all have a checklist that we live out when it comes to helping someone. What got me, I already know this, is that God doesn’t want me to discriminate about whom I should love or help. If anything I am called to throw caution to the wind and seek to love the people or kids who are furthest out there. I know that this type of life pursuit is always messy, unpredictable and full of both heartache and excitement. God ultimately is part of both the good and bad that happens in my life and others. My struggles only reflect the crap that happens in other people’s lives. As I wait to see if a little girl’s mom is in prison I am hand tied because I can’t save the mom or make sure that this young girl and sister have someplace to live that is safe and secure.

I am called to love those who are forgotten and give regardless of what others think and say. Jesus sets the standard of our love for him, as we love the least, the last and the lost.

Dave

Gelling or Stressing

My life at present sees me in the middle of different projects, people, family and church happenings. I was with someone this week at a meeting who asked if I was grumpy? As I attempted to answer, without being grumpy I was totally honest and said I don’t have time for this meeting and the event next week. I’ll do it but probably will back out so I can put my total attention on what is my true passion and calling. Yes, I will love hanging out next week at the downtown ASU campus giving out free pizza but know that I have to pull back in order to do better and stay in the middle of God’s place for me.

I have had an ongoing dialogue or fight with a fellow homeowner in my community. We are both very active in serving our neighborhood. The challenge is that I have decided to not be a gloom and doom person but someone who gives hope and not stress in any circumstance. I of all people understand the culture and climate of life in South Phoenix, which at times can be the hood or barrio. Yeah I admit that I enjoy a good verbal foray at times but understand the need to always cast a vision of partnership for the greater community. I have learned over the last year that being faithful with what God has put on my plate is my responsibility and God is the one who ultimately is responsible for the results. I am learning that gelling, as the insert commercial states, is much preferred to stressing. I do on occasion wake with this overwhelming sense of what in the ________ am I doing.

The great blessing is seeing that God is more than able to accomplish his purpose whether I am around or not. I had one of those opps moments this week. I was meeting with the community action officer in my painting neighborhood to seek his help with our painting blitz in late November. I also had a lunch meeting for the Luis Palau Season of Service afterwards. So as I got out of my truck and realized as I shut the door that my keys fell out of my hand onto my seat. I thought ahhhhh, I’ll go ahead and meet with the officer and then call Anne and be late for the lunch or miss it if she is gone. We had a great talk and I learned lots from him. So the big decision was do I ask for help from him or pretend that I am ok and walk out. I decided to not do the typical guy thing but instead asked if he was gifted with breaking and entering cars? He laughed and said he would get a coat hanger. Fortunately for me my back window was open and I was able to pull open the door lock and get into the car. I ended up making my lunch meeting on time and had a great rest of the day.

I know that Jesus doesn’t guarantee that we can always be gelling but I obviously prefer that to always stressing. As I am getting older I see the benefit of really believing that less is more. I am also starting to get that trusting God really means putting everything into his hands and trusting him with the outcome.

Life was never intended to be stress free, after the fall obviously, but I do prefer being able to gel with Jesus and discover that God cares about the little things and the big enchiladas in my life.

Dave

Meltdown

I have to admit that as one gets older birthday celebrations aren’t that important or you want to totally pretend they don’t happen. As I celebrated my 56 birthday it was a strange week. My mom and I share the same birthday. Since my mom has been gone for 2 years my birthday is both a day to remember, mourn and celebrate. I really was hurting on the morning of my birthday and decided to have breakfast with a friend at my favorite place, Matt’s Big Breakfast. It was rather interesting looking back that Ernie, a she and the owner, recognized that I wasn’t my normal loud and laughing self. I tried to put on a face that said hey I’m ok but she saw through it.

What made this week rather strange was a call from my dad who is in crisis because of missing his lady and the reality that life alone ‘sucks’. He talked with Anne for an hour and truly believed that he would be arrested and in jail before the end of the month and that our president had it out for him. Anne calls me to alert me to the fact that dad was hurting and that I had better give him a call. So I quickly call him and end up listening for an hour about his mess. I had a difficult time not being able to get him to answer the why questions as to what had happened that put him in the panic mode.

After listening and being told that I hadn’t listened and shouldn’t talk I was emotionally drained and ready to curl up on the couch with my ipod to veg. It was a busy week for me because of back-to-back weeks with special meetings out of town. I have always tried to be respectful to my dad and listen as best as possible. As we have all aged I find it difficult to listen to someone when they talk in circles and seem to not totally see the bigger picture. I write this to express my love and concern for my dad and see this as a prayer to better understand the practical mechanics of being there for my father. We ended up arguing about the present presidential crisis and how I believed that one person wasn’t going to bring the world to an end or at least not our president.

We ended the conversation exhausted after an hour. I admit that I am a fixer type of guy who doesn’t want to walk away without having a solution. I am learning, not readily, that God wants us to trust him with the future and not get bent out of shape when there really isn’t a quick fix or a 1, 2, 3 process. I drove all night to get to San Diego to visit with my dad. I know in the past I would have high expectations to do something that would show me progress for my dad that was totally selfish. I go to visit with him and hope to get at least one thing accomplished that would make my mom happy. I am fearful that I might be a clone of my dad and become incapable of listening and accepting help from those who love you the most. It is easy to stand in judgment at present but know when I am 80 I will probably be worse because I will believe that I have the spiritual insight of a sage and all should listen and jump at what I have to offer.

I truly believe that the commandments do have real life implications. I know that sitting and listening to my dad go on about his past, when I was born, his lady and his bomber squadron can become wearisome but I need to see this as a window into my dad’s heart. Why is it that you could listen and love on the stranger but not with your own father? I do miss my mom who was the buffer zone and glue for the family. It is so difficult to understand my dad without mom being there to be his interpreter. Yet, I know that I love my dad because he blessed me with the gift of loving life, learning and being faithful to my wife and family. Lord, I need your supernatural strength to hang out with my dad today and be better equipped to be a son that adores his father.

Dave

Mad as Heaven/Hell?

I know that many view the church as being milk toast and quiet when it comes to standing up to the injustices in the world. Often Christians get involved after something horrible has happened. I truly believe that from the Genesis 1-3 account that we have a spiritually obligation to live out the cultural mandate (intersect our culture and influence it) and stand up for Biblical justice. I think having lived in the suburbs most of my life has shielded me to a large extend from the senseless violence that happens in the city. None of this really matters until something happens on your doorstep.

About six months ago we had a drive by happen over a drug deal gone south in our neighborhood. A large area was blocked off and a close friend was at home without her husband. We watched and waited to see what happened. The police patiently waited for the individual inside the drug house to come out. There were a few other drug thugs who had escaped. After waiting for hours they finally sent in the police dogs that got the guy to come out. The following morning the other two bad guys were arrested literally on our driveway as my wife was backing out the car to go shopping. She exclaimed in her usually witty fashion that it was a good thing that the drug guys were obese guys who couldn’t run because the police had them cuffed and in the car before she backed out.

This last week we painted a house in our painting neighborhood. We had painted the house across the street five months before. Someone from that house who is helping the older gentleman came over to say hi and volunteer. She ended up coming to church that same Sunday for a dinner and the service. It was a totally shock to get a phone call from her friend saying she had been seriously beaten up by someone at the care center where she works. She was in the hospital in the ICU. The injury had required her to get her jaw wired shut and have numerous plates put in for her to be able to recover. I couldn’t understand how this could happen especially in a care center where someone is helping someone who is ill.

We went and visited this lady after she was released from the hospital. It was truly saddening to see what had been a beautiful face and smile now covered with bandages, stitches and totally swollen. How could someone do this to another human being? She had asked for us to come over and pray with her. It will be months before she is able to eat and who knows how long before her face recovers from the trauma.

Yeah, you could say I was ticked and upset about this whole thing. Why does violence continue in our world and it always seem to impact the lives of those who are outside of the problem. I know that God’s heart is for the orphan, widow and abused. How is it possible so often for Christians to walk away and ignore or choose not to get involved? I am starting to learn that it is my responsibility to stand up against the evil that is in our neighborhood. I see God’s heart to reach back to those who have been hurt and forgotten because of their injuries. I know that being an agent of reconciliation means I have to get in the way at times of those who get high off hurting someone or taking advantage of them.

I will never forget a meeting at a church close to our house. It was called because of a young teenage girl who had been murdered in that neighborhood. It is this type of incident that brings everyone out to ask the why question and want to know what the police are going to do about it. My wife even ended up on the evening news stating, edited version, that she hoped someone would find these guys that did this and get them. Ultimately all of us want justice to happen. The difficulty is understanding how this can happen in a fallen world where judgment may not happen until the last day.

Pray for our new friend who was seriously injured. Pray for me that I would learn to stand up against the evil in our neighborhood and seek the help and direction of the police and those that live here.

Dave

Birthday Blog

Aging is something that as a youth we wished time would fly by and as we get older we pray that Father Time will go at a snail’s pace. This last week I celebrated my birthday and it was mostly a sad day. My mom and I share the same day. She went home to be with the Lord almost 2 years ago. I really had intended my birthday to be busy so I wouldn’t have a lot of time to be sad. I had breakfast with a good friend at Matt’s my favorite breakfast place. I had a meeting with another pastor who is helping plan our Painting Blitz and then Tutoring Club in the evening. I have to admit that I cried a bunch while I drove around that day. My pastor friend canceled at the last minute because his sitter for his daughter was sick. At the last minute I changed my schedule to be at home.

I do confess that I get energy and hyped when we do the Tutoring Club. This was our second session after restarting because of school. We had a great turn out and had an amazing surprise I had a birthday cake from my kids and friends. It was great having a large group sing happy birthday. I was still tear-filled. After dropping off a few kids I went back to the Flores’ house. I really did expect anything but to say hi and go home. Instead it was a surprise dinner and cake number 2. I love Mexican food so this was a true birthday blessing especially with a nemo cake.

We had our family dinner on Friday and went out to one of my favorite pizza places. It was really a great evening and had my 3^rd birthday cake. This one was a dud; Anne got it from Fresh and Easy. I was excited to get a PS3, which is both for video games and also Blue Ray Discs. We had a great evening and I truly felt loved. I miss my mom because she always made everything special. It isn’t that my dad is a dud or my Anne can’t do it right but there is always something different my mom’s touch. My Saturday turned out to be a busy day that wasn’t suppose to be that way. I had connected with a new pastor in the area who decided that we had to meet on Saturday. One of our families we had helped paint their house had their care taker get seriously injured so we visited this gal after she came out of the hospital with her jaw wired shut and her face very swollen. We did another night out with my older daughter and husband at Ted’s Hot Dogs. I had forgotten that it is a favorite place for ASU football fans on game night. So we waited in line for about 30 minutes.

We finished off our Saturday with visiting a young couple, who are involved with New City, in the neonatal ICU at a local hospital. Their daughter, Janel, had been born with some serious problems that required immediate surgery and ongoing care. This brought back memories of our yearlong birthing process with our Heather. Anne actually got to fed Janel. We went home and collapsed and I still thought about my mom, memories of her care for my Heather.

Sunday always comes after Saturday so it was a rather typical day with prep for church. I was again pleasantly surprised to see some of our New City kids make me a birthday cake and make a larger Happy Birthday Banner. It was incredible way to be reminded that I am loved. I still miss my mom and I know that birthdays will always be tough. I did discover this week that I shared the same birthday with numerous people involved with New City. One of the teens who is involved, twins whose Grandma’s house we painted and then another gal whose mom’s house we painted.

I know that birthdays are special especially for younger kids. So we always try to do something for those kids that are involved with New City. I don’t feel like I am 56 and hopefully I don’t act like I am old.

I love you mom! Happy BirthdayJ

Your son - David

No Accidents

I was returning from a Church Planting Network meeting in Dallas Texas and as usual had a three-hour flight to get back home to Phoenix. I look forward to see who God will place next to me when I fly. I was flying back with a fellow pastor and good friend. He had noticed that our flight was delayed by at least 30 minutes so we found another flight to catch that would get us home earlier without any penalty. So we board a plane that is going to stop in Austin and then onto Phoenix.

The flight going to Austin was totally packed so I sat in the back of the plane and then after landing moved to the front to sit with my friend. He got off to take care of business and as the group starts to walk by I was curious to see who would sit next to me. There is this 30 something gal who is lugging her suitcase, coffee and managing talking on a cell phone who happens to drop her purse and then asks if she can sit down. As she sits down it is obvious that she is crying her heart out. So I do the normal Dave thing and ask if she’s ok. She replies with a sobbing ‘hell no’! I then ask what’s wrong or something and then that leads into a two hour conversation of listening and leading.

She shares her life story over a couple of hours and turns out to be an adjunct college professor at a Community College in L.A. and teaches English Lit and Rhetoric. I get nosey and ask why she is so stressed out and crying. She then proceeds to talk about how she discovered a friend from High School on Facebook. This then leads to a long distance romance and friendship. She obviously didn’t want to return to her apartment close to the beach in L.A. but couldn’t leave her students whom she adores behind. As I listen and ask the obvious question she proceeds to tell me about Bob (not his real name) and discover that he has 3 kids, is divorced, remarried and getting another divorce. I do pipe in that I have been married almost as long as she has been around. (My Anne would be proud of me.) She quickly affirms her respect for her friend’s love for his kids and commitment to do the right thing. This becomes the basis upon which she is willing to have a cell phone and Facebook relationship with her High School friend.

We talk about everything from politics, religion, the environment, teaching styles, philosophy, science and her youth. She easily converses about any topic and shares her love for teaching and learning. The unfortunate thing, which wasn’t obvious at first but becomes clear, is that she lives in constant pain and has Fibro Malaga. We talk about different treatment paths and her ability to block out her pain through meditation and going for walks on the beach. I am able to talk about my life, love and passion and describe that good relationships happen and can be nurtured and grow. I share the gospel with her and she comes back with her story and proceeds to tell me her church is at the beach.

I ask her about her education and discover that she is a Purdue undergrad. So I get my friend involved in the conversation who is also a Purdue grad. We all laugh and remember about college and grad school. As we are coming close to landing I explain that I don’t believe in accidents. I told her that we were supposed to be on a different flight but because it was late we changed planes. So obviously we were supposed to talk. She shares that our 2-hour discussion had gotten her to calm down and not be an emotional basket case. She pays me a compliment in saying that obviously I am a good talker and have the ability to minister to another’s soul. We exchange business cards and bid farewell. I have no idea whether my new prof friend will e-mail or FB me in the next week. I told her when she returns to Austin she must meet one of my good friends and his family who live there.

My prayers go with her that she would have her eyes open to see the true Creator and Designer of the universe who is the greatest artist and writer wants to be her best friend.

Dave

Anxiety Attack

I know that many of my friends think I am crazy to pursue something that may never be financially sustainable without continued partnership from outside New City. This last week marked the startup of our second year of doing mercy work in our neighborhoods where we worship, work and witness. I have been part of five church plants over the years and I know one of the fears of a planter is about the first worship service and whether many will come. What is even more scary is once you get started and it is still a small group with you doing most of the work when you burn out your most prized helpers. (These are usually your good friends.)

As I reflect back on our tutoring club and our painting projects it is amazing to see what can happen in one year. The reality is that New City is a very small church that has lots of partners; both individuals and churches that help us impact our neighborhood. So when we finished our tutoring club in April and did our summer program I didn’t know whether I would have many volunteers to get our program going in September. We had a great summer because we had five commit to help with connecting with 30 kids. We did a simple Bible study format and then did sports in the park. Because of our connections we had two groups help do urban missions in the summer. We did a 2-week outdoor Vacation Bible School in one of our painting families’ front yard. This also helped connect our tutoring kids with doing projects and then connect with another neighborhood just a few blocks away. The end result is that we started our new tutoring year with over 30 students coming our first session and then a group of new helpers that numbers over 30.

Listening to one of my core helpers this week in church it was clear God is at work. The level of enthusiasm and sense of getting it together does impact everyone. We painted Herminia Perez’s house this last Saturday. I had initially thought we’d have about 20 painters, which is minimal for doing one house. The night before the project I get a few e-mails and it is obvious that we are going to have over 40. I now have a few special helpers that make everything flow more smoothly. So we prepped the house and were ready for our massive group. I had a couple of leaders that kept everything going so we finished in about 1.5 hours. We were also able to finish a house across the street. We then left and handed out 300 bottles of cold water to the homeless that live around the downtown.

God has taught me that the kingdom is bigger than anyone person or church. It is so easy for me to become dependent upon a few so when they are gone I do get a little anxious. I am discovering that God is the one who is faithful to supply all of our needs and the right volunteers to lead. Let me give a couple of examples. I had about 40 people respond to my e-mails for tutors for this year’s program. One of the moms who was interested was obviously too busy between her own job, home schooling her kids and being involved in her church. Yet, after our training session she sensed God’s call for her to dive in with her kids. She has turned out to be an incredible leader who can get the attention of little kids without screaming or losing it. I had another guy show up to help from one of our partner churches that is primarily African American. Ray was like this angel who dropped out of the sky. He quickly jumped in for our painting project and had everything rocking as the groups showed up. He had a smile and the strength to carry around 5 gallon buckets full of paint. He didn’t lose it when some of the teens got a little crazy helping everyone to finish our house without any major messes.

What truly showed the fruit of what we are attempting is having a dinner and service for New City that invites the families we are helping. One of my favorite families is an older African American couple that has taken in their grandsons. They let me do the outdoor VBS in their front yard not once but twice. I decided to get Sarah and Jr. to seriously consider getting involved. I had asked numerous times for them to come to church. Then it struck me to bring Paul or Bookie, their grandson, to come to our summer activities and now our tutoring program. Now Bookie is coming to church with his grandpa. I do walk a fine line in reaching out to people who have serious flaws that the average evangelical would have serious issue. I was jazzed to see one of the ladies whose mom has become a good friend come to our dinner. She is someone who grew up in this primarily Black neighborhood that is now in the middle of a gang/drug war between the Hispanics and Blacks. She is someone who is presently living on welfare and many of her brothers and cousins are in jail for drug dealing. I discovered that we share the same birthday.

I have many stories now that help me look back and admit that God is the one who draws and impacts people’s lives. I still try at times to force things to happen only to discover that God always brings surprises in my life that help me trust him more and more. I know that I will still have anxiety attacks on occasion because of my sin and my passionate attempts to get believers in the burbs to see the great need in the forgotten part of the city.

Yeah, I am starting to learn about Phil. 4:6-8

Dave