Little Things?

I know that as a kid growing up in a mom centered home that little things were always made of paramount importance. I admit that today I react when a guest staying with us doesn’t make their bed or God forbid leave the toilet seat up. Lot of my quirks in life come back to my mom and her amazing way in raising me. It is no different with my incredible wife, best friend and partner in ministry. She is always doing little things, which make my life, my kid’s lives and my dog’s life ‘rock’. Anne can’t leave for work before changing all of the dog water, getting Taco up and ready, he is our bird, making sure the trash is out and the list goes on. I attempt to push her out but she won’t listen.

I believe that what makes life work much better is how we approach the little things in life. I won’t pick a fight over which direction the toilet paper comes off the wall thingy or whether we pass food around the table in military order or the other direction. Yet, I was raised with taking pride in all of these little things, which as I age become important. The real issue is that we show our love for others and even God by giving our all in doing the little things. The challenge is that we live in a world where short cuts or the easy way out is the preferred path for most.

Yes, I do react to those who don’t take the time look out for the little things that can make the difference between an ok day and an amazing day. My mom did hit me over the head growing up by teaching me first hand never to put off something that could be done today by being a flake and waiting till tomorrow. So yes I pay all of my bills on the first of the month and don’t wait until the end of the month. I would rather unload the dishwasher before Anne gets home instead of leaving it for her.

I admit that I’m a person who cares about details and can get bent out of shape when someone purposely chooses to be lazy or a slacker. I know that following through on anything in life is so important.  Yet, I am presently a recipient of God’s amazing grace and mercy which enables me to not react to those not as focused on detail or the little things. I know that perspective in life is usually everything. Seldom do I ever take the time to see life through the eyes of someone else. If I did I wouldn’t be so quick to react or judge with the things I consider to be important.

It is interesting that Jesus gives a few parables or stories of how God’s care for us is totally amazing and something that happens regardless of circumstances. If the birds in the field make it day to day won’t we have our essentials provided? Jesus explains the way to truly love him comes back to how we treat each other. I can’t shine on the person in real need but the challenge is I have limited resources and when I see someone wasting or misusing God’s provision I get a little ticked.

I often get phone calls late at night with a request either to do taxi service which at times I will say no because it is too late or will succumb. I also receive requests for money to help with utilities or food. I usually am open to helping understanding that no one should go to bed hungry or in a really hot house in the summer. The challenge is when I recently had just helped and I don’t want to be used or contribute to someone’s inability to manage their finances or allow someone to waste the little they have on alcohol or drugs.  So as I told one of my teens that I would help his mom if she called me and talked about her finances. I seldom get a return call in this situation.

As I finish this blog and pick up a few youth to help load up a good friend’s U-Haul I know that little things like having a few extra hands to help move is everything. I know that it is easy for people to be excited when someone special moves into their neighborhood or moves to a different place. Yet, few people show up during workday hours to help someone moving outside the area. It could be a real bummer with only the grandparents helping with a little guy and a wife who is pregnant.

I am so thankful to have a wife who takes pride in the little things in life so my life is so rich and full. God is a master in making the little things in life rock my world!

Finders Keepers - Losers Weepers?

I confess that as a Jr. Higher that played in a rock band that on occasion the group would shop lift either sheet music or vinyl LP’s from the local music store. I know that at first all of us were really scared stiff and only did this on a dare from another music friend. After figuring out how to corner the only employee in this store it became too easy to lift little things. After a while we truly believed we were experts at this and didn’t fear getting caught. The reality was that one day one of our guys, on his own, attempted to lift something and got caught. Fortunately for all of us this brought our career of being thieves to a sudden halt. Yeah, I forgot to mention that we were twelve to thirteen years old.

So as I bemoan the fact that I at times have multiple thefts happen around us that is serious, it is difficult to understand the obvious question as to why? I continue to tell those in our group that finder’s keepers doesn’t equal ownership! It is easy though at times to bring God into the picture and say it is actually the Almighty who has brought me this new phone, iPod or ________. We were on a Slide Rock Trip a few weeks ago and I re-enforced the obvious please put all valuables into our group bag that is protected by Grandma Doris. Don’t leave anything out or in the vehicles. It never fails that someone does something rather ‘stupid’ and walks off and leaves a phone or iPod on the table.

As we are cleaning up and getting ready to leave for our trip home it is obvious that one of our teens is missing a phone in addition to one of our adults. We look all over the place, through all of the 11 vehicles and there isn’t anything to be found. The adult helper finds his phone that was in his bag but the teen comes up short. The unfortunate thing is the person who got it razzes her as she texts back on her phone. The person says the obvious that he found it and it automatically becomes his. Yeah, in this context the losers who have lost something definitely weep.

A couple of days later I get a text from one of my Prof friends at ASU who helps all of the time. Someone has found his phone on campus and wants to return it. I’m thinking is this really happening? The individual asks me to call which I quickly do. The college student asks who the individual happens to be and I quickly share that he is a Prof at ASU. The student then acts as if he is close to his office and walks in and drops off the phone to my friend. Wow – someone actually gets it.

I have a couple of more of what I call my wife’s iPhone stories. One night my Anne takes our older daughter out to a late movie. On her way to drop off our Heather my Anne accidently drops her phone out of the car when she is doing the code to break into the complex. My Anne realizes this as she is pulling into our driveway and comes into the garage. She quickly texts her phone from my phone and is shocked to get a quick response from someone who works late and just had gotten home in our daughter’s complex and sees the phone on the ground right next to the entrance spot. Anne, even though she is exhausted, quickly drives back and retrieves her phone. I only discover this after seeing the texts on my phone. This obviously was a ‘God Thing’ and we give thanks and decide to be more careful.

Flash forward another year and something similar happens. Anne is getting ready to go someone where and her phone comes up missing. She obviously thinks that her husband will go on a rampage if he finds out. That afternoon our college live-in’s mom’s boyfriend returns the phone. He had been racked with guilt because he supposedly found the phone on the street but when he turned it on he recognized Anne’s picture. Clearly, if it had been a different person’s phone, with a different picture, he would have sold it or pawned it. Again, we were humbled and amazed to get it back. We had no idea how it ended up on the street. Did Anne drive off and leave the phone on her car and it fell off? Maybe someone stole it and got ‘cold feet’ and tossed it? Who knows what happened.

 This last week one of our newer teens left her purse, unannounced, on the concrete underneath a table where we were doing crafts. This was a game night in a large park with lot of other people and kids all around. I had told everyone not to bring any valuables and if they did to give it to an adult.  This didn’t happen and the purse vanished. We still haven’t figured out whether the teen came back and got it, which is what a few remember and then misplaced it in the park as we were out doing games and hanging out. Once it gets dark it is impossible to find. Fortunately for her she only had makeup and a key in the purse. She kept her cell with her and didn’t have any money on her.

I’m always surprised to read stories about celebs that get caught shoplifting who are totally rich. You think why would someone in this context steal? Don’t they know they can or will get caught and all of the bad press that follows? We once had a close pastor friend and wife stay with us. He was considering doing church planting. Something happened, which they tried to keep secret, where she got caught taking something out of a nice store. This truly was unfortunate but the consequences still happened. She had to come back to court and work with the storeowner who eventually drops all charges and she pays a fine for restitution.

Sure I get tired of having to always be cautious about how I even leave my high tech ‘stuff’ around. I am quick to put it up, even in my house, not to make a temptation to anyone. The truth is that we live in a fallen world where most are wanting something that they are not able to get and so seeing that precious item unattended could be trouble. Until recently I didn’t understand how having next to nothing makes easier to justify taking something you find on a table, on the ground or in the bathroom. I have argued too often, even with mom’s, about how it is important to give back what’s not yours and let the owner give you a reward or the school or store calls you back up in a week and says the item is yours.

So what about the old adage, ‘Finders keepers and losers weepers?’ I’ve tried to cast a bigger picture type of vision that shows that ultimately anything taken by ill-gotten gain is wrong. You have taken something from someone else and continue to miss the point of being responsible and wanting to be self-sustainable. Yet, many who pay big taxes cheat, find loopholes or just don’t file. Someone with means always seems to get off for doing something illegal whereas the normal person ends up in jail or with a huge fine. The celeb figure, always in the news, gets away with ongoing DUI’s and gets only community service. I would be at Tent City, thanks to Sheriff Joe, for at least six months.

I know that too often I define my self-worth and value by the possessions I own and not by my person or as some would say my being. We live in a society where possessions become everything. The car I drive defines whether I’m successful or a failure. The house I drive that car into further defines whether I’m a person of means or just existing. Obviously there has been an identity crisis taking place in our world where it comes to what is most important in life, i.e. relationships, how we live and treat those around us or what we possess. So it’s your choice next time you see someone else’s cell phone, iPod or iPad as to whether you chuckle on the inside and say, Finder’s Keepers and totally forget what it’s like for the person who lost their phone or iPod. Yeah, one day it will happen to you when someone finds your lost phone or iPod and you might be weeping. 

Expectations

We live in a world where most want to live as if there aren’t any standards. It is easy to give the impression at times that expectations aren’t very important. Yet, I’m a person who always has high expectations for others and myself. I can easily be disappointed at times whether I show my heart or not. Last night we did out second job and life skills group. My real hope for this group of teens, that represents the gamut of slackers to superstars is that even the teen who seems least likely to get a job will be motivated to do a resume, participate and truly think about getting a job and doing it!

It is easy to put my expectations on someone else and believe because they don’t do it my way that there is something lacking in them or they are really lazy bums. I was pleasantly surprised at how many in the group had done their resumes even if they didn’t have access to a laptop or printer. I had Joseph. the manager of my Starbucks, look over them and select the one that he would choose. I was totally shocked when he picked one that was hand written and he gave his reason. This teen gal got a $5 Starbucks card!

Last night we listened to a young African American Staff Sargent in the Air Force share her story about joining the military. She was honest, in your face and pumped about her life and career. The reality, as she shared, was that there is a lot of discrimination in the military and that she had experienced that often but didn’t allow it to stop her from doing her best. The truth for most of this group is that they have been given few expectations in life. Most don’t get the importance of setting goals and pursing them regardless of how you feel or the circumstances around them.

My friend Joseph shared about Starbucks expectations for his store. He described the culture of the Corporate Starbucks as very engaging, caring and helping. Yet, he also painted a picture that each store was expected to succeed and continue to do better and better. He was very honest that his store was at the bottom of the Starbucks Group for Phoenix when he came on as manager two years ago. He continued to tell his story about how his boss would encourage him and help out and now his store rocks! This didn’t come easy but it is happening.

Why is it the case that some people in life seem to get the importance of making goals, having a plan and actually doing something with their lives? As I interact with my interns for the summer we talk about a lot of these issues. Why is it the case that what we value to be so important someone else my look at as being a waste of time or energy? Do expectations and goals reflect a person’s life history? Yeah, of course they do, so if I’m raised around parents who have this DNA then most likely it will impact my life. If I’m raised without any parents or adults who care it will be difficult to follow through with much of anything.

Clearly we are called to place expectations on each other and hope that our mutual pursuits will help encourage us to step up and do great things for God, each other and ourselves.  I’m the one that chooses to be up at 5am and be thinking, blogging, praying, reading and acting out I hope God’s expectations each day. Is it ok for me to put on my interns, New City Kidz the same goal – get up! Get up early and do something with your life! You tell me.

As we finished last’s night Job Skill Group I knew that my teens had heard a lot, it was all good but what are they going to do tomorrow and the next day? One of the new teens interacted with Joseph and came across a little arrogant. Joseph was quick to point out the difference between being a real leader and a wanna be leader. My prayer is that each of these teens will learn to be followers first of Jesus, some of my adult volunteers and then they will lead their friends to God. 

New Friends

As I am sitting at my local Starbucks enjoying a cup  of brew I am blessed to have some great friends who serve God through working for the city and the Police Department. Last week I had an e-mail from an Officer volunteering to help out. He had seen something in a local publication talking about New City – Barrio Nuevo.  I was totally surprised when he called me and then showed up at Pecos Pool while we were swimming. Little did I know how timely our connecting would be.

This last Sunday one of my single moms was being harassed by one of her siblings. She actually had to call the police on him to get him to leave her premise. This then forced us yesterday to spend more than four hours at the court house attempting to get Protection Orders against this single mom’s siblings who have been harassing her the last few months. I quickly e-mailed my new friend, Officer Ben, who responded immediately and found the incident report for my friend’s issue with her brother.

This morning I come into my Starbucks and low and behold another good friend who is a Phoenix Police Officer comes in as his shift ends. I quickly connect and ask the obvious questions for my single mom friend. What is the real definition of harassment? How do we serve an order of protection without knowing someone’s address? Is there any way to control her siblings’ ongoing crazy harassment?  I can’t fathom having a sibling turn off my power, my phone, my cable and my gas? I can’t believe that someone would do this but they have. Yet, as we sat in court for an hour it was clear the judge didn’t consider this to be serious enough to grant an order.

I am continually amazed at how God brings the right people across my path as I do my normal routine. I need the help, support and counsel when it comes to dealing with real brokenness that exists in my neighborhood. I was totally blessed to have a friend who is a server at Coco’s choose to come to our Job’s Life –Skill Group on Wednesday Nights. I am thrilled to have my good friend who manages this Starbucks be willing to reach back to my teens and make a difference.

As I wrap up this blog I’m listening to a group of Officers who are finishing their shift and getting ready to go home and collapse and have their family time over the next 3 days. Sure I do cringe on occasion when I see a Police Car with flashing lights fly by thinking that maybe I didn’t stop totally or ran a yellow light that become a red light. It is amazing that God is the one who has established the system of government that has built in protection for me. 

Tell It Like It Is!

I am shocked at how sometimes God allows things to fall into place. I know that there isn’t such thing as coincidences. I will confess to the fact that I do like being organized and having my ‘ducks in a row’. The challenge is that I’m always dependent upon others who don’t necessarily value timeliness or bring organized. This last week we started a job-life skills group. The purpose is to help our older teens figure out life, how to do a resume, apply for a job, get an interview and actually get a job. I started this out with the intention of having peers who had jobs talk about their stories and also older more experienced adults share their journey.

The goal was to get the attention of those who want to do something with their lives and help them see the urgency to ‘get it’ like today. The sad reality for most growing up in today’s world is the assumption that things will just fall into place. Like, mom and dad or grandparents are going to pay your way forever so finishing high school or going to college isn’t important. I have too many examples in our groups of young 20-somethings who are in stall mode with no job and no future. The hope is to cast a vision where tomorrow is a better day where great things can happen when you open up your eyes and kick into high gear.

I had talked about the group to our teens and still had no idea how many or who would show up. I had asked a few to come and talk. My favorite barista at my Starbucks chickened out. You know the type; she’s very quiet and shy but a great worker, wife, mom and good friend to many. So I was fortunate that one of my college interns, an ASU student, was free and could join us. I was also jazzed when a friend who recently faced booked me was free and said she would come. I also had a recent victim or experienced interviewer in our group.

We took over the outside of Starbucks with 20 gathered around different tables and chairs. I handed out an assortment of sheets that talked about the group, how to do a resume and an example of a resume. I asked Chloe, our intern, to share her story. Remember this is a diverse group with the adults being the only ‘Whites’. Chloe had grown up both in Detroit in the hood and also Phoenix. She had worked at Safeway at the age of 14 doing the bagging thing. She worked her way up and started making $12 an hour when she was 16. She talked about the reality that having a job meant you give your all, got up early, go to work early and did more than asked if you wanted to keep your job or get promoted. She was awesome because the group knows her and respects her big time.  She took a few of the teens home afterwards.

My special guest and friend, Molly, shared her story. I wasn’t exactly sure of Molly’s history but as she shared with passion and enthusiasm it was clear she had lots in common with my teens. She grew up in South Phoenix as a White Girl but went down the wrong path. She was blessed to have ‘rich’ parents and had good jobs to start out and even bought a house at 20. Yet, the temptations around her won out and she succumbed to drugs, the party scene and crazy music. She shared her journey of figuring out that it was time to take control of her life and become committed to a healthy life style. She was a little preachy but totally got what it was like to live in the hood, be sucked into bad music and an attitude that the world owes you something.

As Molly finished you could see that most of the teens had HEARD what she was talking about. This friend of mine is a server at Coco’s, which isn’t a glamorous job but as she talked you knew she loved it and it proved for her needs. She did an excellent job of explaining the importance of how giving your all in anything will produce great results. I was amazed at what she said and how God had set her up to be the voice for the night.

We finished listening to Al, my best friend Chinese guy, who totally shocked me. He shared about his job experience, which I thought was just being a bean counter that made big bucks. He talked about his initial desire to be a FBI agent. He had applied and tested and made it to the end. He admitted that he bombed the last test. So it could have been agent Loo.

As we finished the evening and I looked at the teens I could tell that they were starting to think about life, their life in a different way. Today is the first day of the rest of your life so what are you going to do? My hope and prayer is that everyone will find their ‘calling’ and gifts soon and be able to pursue them.  The unfortunate reality for most of these teens is that there isn’t an inheritance or cushy home that the parents can pay their way for college or anything. 

Help! My friend Sylvia is donating a kidney to a save a 23 year old's life.

I’m typically around people who are asking for help or need something. Seldom am I around someone who is truly willing to lay their life down for another, especially if it puts their physical health in question. I have known Sylvia over the last 4 years. She is one of my ‘Hispanic’ Moms/Grandmas. She is the type of friend that is always asking if there is something she can do. Usually that equates to making food for an event or drive at the last minute for a special event.

My friend or sister Sylvia has experienced lots of hardship in her life over the last couple of years. Her Nana died two years ago. Sylvia and her daughter, Andee, lived and helped take care of Nana. This was a very difficult adjustment to have Nana gone and still live in the same house. The same year their little dog died after getting a disease. Over the last few years Sylvia had been instrumental in getting food from her Safeway where she had worked 18 years for our different big lunch events. Our first Painting Blitz Lunch saw over 300 people attend with Sylvia being the key to getting hotdogs, buns, chips and free water.

I was totally shocked when I hear that Sylvia has been terminated at Safeway for using her courtesy card for a customer. I was ready to go head to head with her new manager who was purging the entire older workforce that had seniority and power in the store. It was a tough six months for her finding another job and not being able to collect unemployment because of the way her manager fired her. Yet, through all of this Sylvia had an incredible attitude that God would provide. She eventually gets a job at J.C. Penny’s making about half of what she made at Safeway.

Sylvia has become the caretaker in her larger family. So she has been there for her various ailing uncles, who have serious health challenges. Yesterday as I am asking her if she can help drive to Slide Rock on Saturday she lets out of the bag that she is considering donating her kidney for her ex-husband’s daughter, Monica. I at first texted something sarcastic like how much are you getting for your kidney on the black market. She quickly calls and explains that Monica, who is 23, has renal failure and is on dialysis. She turns out to be the only family member, even though Sylvia isn’t related to Monica that is willing to offer a kidney.

The same day we take a large group of our youth to Pecos Pool to start off our summer program. I end up being able to get the real scoop from her daughter, Andee who is 16. Yeah, this is serious and if Sylvia doesn’t do this there might not be much hope for this young lady. I could tell as I talked with Andee that she was proud of her mom for attempting to see if she is a match but also scared about what could happen to her.

So here’s the scoop Sylvia has had the year from ‘hell’ and is broke, under-employed and now is considering this surgical procedure that will require her to not work for at least 6-8 weeks. Who in their right mind would do this? Yet, I know that my friend, Sylvia is the one who would step up and give up one of her kidneys regardless of the cost to her and her family. So now I face an amazing opportunity to ask my larger circle of friends to consider giving to help cover Sylvia’s living expense for the couple of months she is not able to work. Yes the hospital will cover the cost of the surgery and the expense of living in LA for a few weeks before returning home.

It is in times like this that I confess to my poor stewardship in life. I wish I had the means to totally cover her living expenses for a couple of months. My personal goal is to cover her car payment for the months she is unable to pay. My hope is to raise $5,000 to cover her household expenses and at least be even when she goes back to a job that still doesn’t meet her real needs.

I know that my Father in heaven owns the cattle on a thousand hills and is far above the financial institutions which too many of us put our faith and trust in while ignoring God’s faithful promises. I’m hoping that as I reach back to a few friends, churches and business that we can raise $5K. Please contact me if you are interested in helping Sylvia. (480-236-1400 newcityphoenix@mac.com)