If you knew when you were going to die would you change your life?

I know that my experience as a teen in life was that I was like Superman or Ironman in that I was immortal until mortality stared me in the eye. I will never forget a tragic day in my life when we had taken my dad into our home after my mom’s battle with cancer had finished. We had chosen to take him along with us for a walk with our dogs. It was one of those days that I truly would have changed if I had the power.  We chose to include my dad, who now had Dementia, on a canal walk. The unfortunate choice was that we parked across from the canal on a busy road. The end-result that day was that 2 of our little dogs got scared and ran into oncoming traffic and sadly were hit.

I’ve had a few experiences in life that pushed me to the edge to stop living for someone else and discover my God given passion and path. The challenge is that there always continue to be too many voices in the crowd that influence me to live life safely instead of ‘throwing caution’ to the wind and living as if today could be my last day lived to its’ fullest. The incredible mystery of life is that all of us are different so the path less traveled we pursue is different from our family or friends. The opportunity is to choose to engage in this adventure called life and not allow yesterday to stop you!

I had read a post from a friend who had raised the question of whether anyone would live differently if they knew they only had a few years to live? As I’m watching a very fascinating and heart wrenching movie, ‘Gifted’, it too brought out the challenge who or what should define your life? It’s so easy to live according to the status quo and allow someone else to define greatness for your life! The bottom line of the movie was that a genius child at Cambridge was pushed to the edge by her Math whiz mom to solve one of the supposedly unsolvable mysteries in mathematics. The tragic family story was that the mom stopped this little girl from having a life outside of differential equations. Ultimately, she also has a little girl and is desperate to discover life outside of higher math.

Now, the older brother, also a genius type, is approached by his struggling math whiz sister about her life struggles. The tragedy is that this young mom with so much potential had lost her life and gave up her most precious possession, her young daughter, to her brother. The brother had already given up the life of a Professor in reaction to his mom’s pressure to be successful according to her pathway. The sad news is that this young mom takes her life and leaves her daughter for her rebellious brother to raise. The goal of the uncle now is to live a normal life by his standards so that his niece doesn’t experience her mom’s personal meltdown.

The battle unfolds between grandma and the uncle of this incredible girl as to who determines her life journey! The movie unfolds with what is ultimately a win win for the little girl, her uncle and grandma. Is it possible to be a math whiz genius child and still be allowed to go play on the playground with your peers? Much as I go from mid-life crisis to now the ‘golden’ years I see the importance of not waiting until tomorrow to do what makes my life have meaning and importance.

I know that the notion of paying it forward and sacrificing oneself for another is much talked about! The opportunity is to choose to live this way and pursue the path that truly impacts the world around you. The struggle comes when the crowd around you draws you back to living an ordinary life. The choice you must make is to do ordinary things in extraordinary ways!

The life and death of my parents is still ever before me and have taught me to value the moment and never be unwilling to dive into life. My life motto has been to live out Jesus’ own passion of coming to give me the ability to live my life to the fullest without holding anything back and sharing this life calling with as many as possible!

Get away from the crowd and you will go places!

One of the most important decisions you will make in life is whether you follow the crowd, being a people pleaser or at times walk alone and go places! There is some much pressure today to conform to whatever the latest fad happens to be. Whether that be in the political arena, academic setting, family or even church. Don’t misunderstand me it so important to learn from those around you to discover who you truly happen to be. The challenge is that too often we have an unhealthy dependence upon the crowd. We allow the crowd or our hero to define us.

I so much love the Dr. Seuss ‘Oh, The Places You'll Go!’. Here’s one of my favorite quotes. “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.” So why is it the case that so seldom do you or me choose to be trailblazers instead of taking the path traveled by many? One of the local high schools has a bench strategically placed in front of the entry onto campus that has this quote about taking the road less traveled because it will make your life go soo far. I wonder at times how many teens have read that and understand what it truly means? What would happen if more people purposely took the path never taken by any? Imagine how different our lives will be and better the world will become!

I appreciate Robert Frost’s poem ‘The Road Not Taken.’ Here’s the last stanza:

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

What matters most to you?

What matters most to you?  

My iPhone alarm scratched at me at 4:15am. I realized my Anne is just now rolling out of bed. Today started a little earlier than usual but not for work but for surgery. It’s so easy to not know how to practically show your heart, love and appreciation to the one person who has been there for you 44 years and counting! I’m a little reticent to be mushy but how do you reassure the one who is the love of your life that you are there for her and will wait for a couple hours to hear back from the doctor that the surgery is successful and recovery is now the main focus.

I chuckled as my Anne joked with each of the various nurses about her aversion to anesthesia and desire to suffer a little instead of being nauseous after her last surgery and her unfortunate reaction to Demerol. The jokes continued as the individual doing her vitals says she was only 4’9” and probably 20 pounds heavier. The attending nurse also chimed in that those stats typically aren’t close to being accurate. Yet, for some reason it mattered.

It’s so difficult on occasions like this to know how to really express your love to the ONE person who has made your life happen! Anne was escorted back to the preop area to get prepped. I waited for an hour with our older daughter who had taken the day off from work to be with her mom and me. As we were directed to this massive preop area with over 70 beds I was pleased to see my Anne making off the wall remarks with the nurse helping her get ready. I must confess that I was a little nervous understanding the serious of the procedure and the reality that her doctor was this hyperactive TYPE A guy that even his resident assistant agreed with a chuckle.

I was shocked when the buzzer started going wild after exactly an hour. We had been given the impression this was a two-hour procedure. I was thrilled to shake his hand, hear the good news and then review the pics that showed the before and after. Now it’s close to the home stretch. We went down to the cafeteria to get something to eat understanding it would take at least an hour for my Anne to wake up and be ready for visitors. After about 2 hours I was a little concerned and yes actually worried. So, when our buzzer went off again I was so excited to go back and see my delirious wife look at me.

I knew that anesthesia and my Anne didn’t mix well together at all. Yet, the issue, which I didn’t really get but made sense was that she had to have the ability to empty her bladder by a certain amount before she could go home. So now the game of drink a couple glasses of cold water started to unfold with frequent trips to see if there were any results. Ultimately, I hear the nurse, not Anne, scream YOU CAN GO HOME NOW! Yes, I could go get the car and she would be released from her hospital prison.

As we pulled away from the giant Hospital my Anne didn’t look any different than when she arrived at 5:30 am. Now the next couple of days would go in slow motion because she had to be careful with a variety of things such as dogs leaping on her to accidentally bumping into something. I was so pleased to see her home in our bed relaxed and in a deep sleep.

As the news blared about some Russia thing with Trump Jr. I was most relieved to know that my bestie had made it through with no complications and that our lives would continue.  The biggest headlines in my life fortunately aren’t on CNN or FOX!

I love you Anne with all my heart and soul!!