Learning

I just recently looked at an e-mail of a good friend who does the accounting for my church. As I looked at the e-mail it was actually a link to a site that was a memorial for her adult daughter whose daughter I saw often at my friend’s house. I couldn’t believe my eyes as I read about this 36 year-old mom being killed in a car accident a few days ago. A man who was being chased by the police for some reason ended up going the wrong way on the freeway and hit this young mom. She was killed instantly, the man responsible will live and this young little girl will not have a mom because of a drunk.

I went to bed late last night in tears because I couldn’t believe what I had just read. I have the cold – flu bug and can’t fathom the emotional roller coast of my friend as she has taken care of her granddaughter in her home for the last couple of years. I have seen the love and joy in my friend’s eyes as we have talked and watched her little granddaughter play in our midst. I know that the why question automatically comes to mind. How can we live without her? The ravages of a divorced young mom, was enough for my friend to handle a few years ago. Now the overwhelming sense of hurt, lose and sense of how could this happen will linger in her mind for a lifetime. As she picks up her granddaughter she will see her daughter’s eyes and smile.

I have my share of heartaches in my life working in South Phoenix. Some of my stories can be just as heart wrenching. We had a gang related homicide in the habitat community where a lot of our kids and families live. I can’t fathom the hurt and anger that this produced in a family who may have already had real problems. I tire of the racism that lives in my community. I thought it was only ‘white’ people who are prejudice and quick to judge. I am discovering that everyone is biased against others that are different. I know that I have done lots of things, at times, that draws kids and teens away from their parents, guardians or caretakers. The reality is that a good portion of the kids and teens we love on come from horrible family situations. So I can understand how someone could be jealous of us because of what we do and how the kids and teens respond.

I have these two sisters who have been part of New City – Barrio since we started. We have done lots with these gals and have helped them often between rides to school, cash to get lunch or last minute problems where mom needs help. I have been accused a few times of being racist by some of the relatives. I know that I stick out and the way I relate back to someone can be questioned. I am becoming more and more aware that how I shake someone’s hand, the look I give and what I say can either draw someone to the Lord and me or push him or her away.

I am now have been accused of doing something to the mom’s boyfriend. The difficulty for me is that this mom has had numerous boy friends during the time we have loved on her daughters who all have been excessive alcohol or drug users. I haven’t said a whole lot. The last time the mom said the girls could no longer be part of our New City family I asked her why. The response I got was the girls needed more sleep or more time for homework. I pleaded with her and ask if this was really the true reason behind their suspension from our activities. I knew that an Aunt had said I had done something to her that was considered racist. The mom would never admit to the truth. Now I have the most recent boyfriend is accusing me of giving him the evil eye. The reality is that I could have looked at him in an odd fashion because he is always looking at me in a strange way.

So what do I do? I have recently have just learned that taking a parent or guardian to task doesn’t necessarily help the situation. Yet, someone has to stand up to the obvious misplace of judgment or out right abuse of young kids and teens. I know that being falsely accused of something behind my back creates a situation that I can’t change. So I will pray and be myself and ask the mom in a few days why the girls can’t come presently. I now can see that God is more than capable of changing a heart and opening the eyes of those who are racist to see God’s good in a person. I am learning that God works through the unfortunate things in life. I know that real evil is presently out there ready to attack those who want to bring the gospel of grace and mercy to the evil strong holds. My real prayer is that the Spirit will help me be calm and not over react or under react to what happens around me. I know that I have been called to stand up for the injustice of what happens in South Phoenix.