Surprises

As I am sitting out front of Matt’s Big Breakfast it is rather surprising to see First Street being totally destroyed with big equipment. Life is always full of surprises. At times the unexpected becomes the expected and the expected becomes the anomaly. LIfe has ups and downs that are a total surprise or shock. I am waiting to have breakfast with a friend who I haven’t talked with for about a year or so.

I know that life has bends and detours that catch us off guard. My friend had just recently donated a nice twin bed for be me to give to a homeless shelter that helps veterans. As I am pulling into his driveway he explains how he and his wife are divorcing. I am taken back totally and I see his wife who offers to donate some craft items for me to use with our kids. What do I say?? I’ll pray for you doesn’t sound very caring.

You would think that having the road outside a breakfast place would kill business. Yet, I am waiting at 6:45AM to get into Matt’s. Business is good in spite of the traffic or road conditions. The challenge for most of us is that life does have it’s changes which at times we plan for and other times take us by surprise.

I know that it isn’t a given that family or friends always agree on everything. It is easy to allow our uniqueness or gift mixes to get in the way of being friends or working together. I know that at times I can be too much of an idealist or perfectionist that can get frustrated with others. I know that I can come across as a control freak because I do have standards and want them pursued. So what do you say to someone who is walking away from a relationship that produced offspring, produced a nice home and many friends both in the neighborhood and at church.

My story is that I have many friends who fit this profile of having their spouse walk away from them. Some have done it for good reasons others have decided that the wild side is more attractive than working through issues with their partner or their kids. I am learning to become a good listener and realize I don’t have much to say but to choose to be with them.

I know that it is so much easier to be a talker than a listener. It is so easy to assume that everyone wants to know about my life and work and miss that I’m not on the front page news headlines. My goal really isn’t to be popular and a great speaker but a friend that can listen and help when possible. I know that a call from Bookie about going to his football game in a month is just as important as my breakfast with my friend who is losing his family.

I also know that as we short sale our home that moving is going to be traumatic. I know that I can be proactive and start moving and sorting. Yet, the day we actually get the keys and start getting the new house ready it is going to time for some tears. Yeah, I do like being in one place for more than a year or so. Change isn’t easy to accept and as I tell my kids that bad things happen even to good people. God is part of both what appears great blessings and unbelievable tragedies. I am shocked to see the headlines in the news continue to show the evil bent of mankind. I can’t fathom someone methodically kill 90 plus youth at a camp on a retreat.

So I know as my wife would say I can become very animated around friends but am not the same person with family or my dad that I do need to learn to step up and be better at communicating. Yeah, it isn’t easy to see my dad struggle with simple things, what day is it, what more important in the present moment or choosing to keep his lights off. I am being stretched to love people regardless of circumstances or what I deem to be the best. One of my favorite Psalms reminds me to look up to the hills and remember that my help and strength comes from the Lord Maker of Heaven and Earth.