Reflections

God has slowed me down the last few days with a cold. I have actually chosen to rearrange my schedule and take some time to chill! Contrary to my wife’s suspicions I do take time to do nothing and relax. Yes, I admit to the fact that I thrive on doing mercy work and planning and pulling off big events that impact a large group of volunteers and friends in my neighborhood. I know that this will never be perfect and that there will always be some, both volunteers and recipients who might react to something or want something different from what happened. Usually there is always a great sense of accomplishment and sense of building relationships with my neighborhood.

I know that it isn’t easy to have life put in the proper perspective so as not to either over react or under react to circumstances. I am learning daily that God truly is the one who provides for me and supplies my need. I know that in the past I would say this but deep down inside have a sense of pride or arrogance for the different things that I had accomplished. As I have been saying to my group greatness is not in awards or promotions but in your willingness to do what is right without any notice or rewards at all. I know that my inner psyche reacts to that a little, like why can’t someone at least say thanks or give me some type of award. The truth is that the work that we do is reward enough for everyone involved.

I am more on the edge when it comes to how people choose to live and the impact they have on those around them. I tire of excuses and adult tantrums. The phone too often buzzes with an adult parent who is taking it out on their teen who they haven’t seen in a week or so. I am also at a loss as to why simple things seem so impossible to do, i.e. enroll your kid in school and help them stay in school. Yet, I face what will end up a fight with a guardian who isn’t willing to admit that his nephew needs help and has to be in school pronto. I went to the trouble of taking a couple of hours to enroll this teen and yet he didn’t go back to school. I want to SCREAM! WHY??

I am especially thrilled at the growth and maturity of my son. I could write volumes on the fights that erupted a few years ago over normal stuff, work, money, vehicles, school and the future. Now he has become the resident expert in stepping up, finding volunteer opportunities and being motivated to help others. I was elated that he asked me to help him select his car and actually buy it. Things like this make a father’s heart jump. It isn’t easy watching your little kids grow up and all of a sudden no longer need you in the same way.

Now I have a couple of other teens living with us. They have lived with us on and off over the last few years. Their mom continues to struggle with finding a job, keeping it and having a place to stay. They are family, not like family, my aspirations for them is to rise above their circumstances and discover the power of being responsible and capable of living on their own with a healthy sense of interdependency. I know that they will be more than ok, yet their mom I don’t’ know after watching her over the last 4-5 years.