I just received a text from one of my moms who loves to cook
and provide food for any event that we are doing. She also has a teenage
daughter who is growing up too fast for her. This good friend texted back,
after my thank you for her amazing nachos, that our babies are growing up too
fast. I had to confess that as I was writing an update about our group of High
School graduates that I started to cry. It was the happy cry where you are
overwhelmed that something has happened which you thought would never come to
be.
We have been involved with our neighborhood over the last 6
years. We have watched little kids become 8th graders, Jr. Highers
become High School students and now High Schooler become college students. I
love to take photos, especially with my IPhone, so it was easy to look at some
pictures of my kids when they really were little kids and now realize that they
have grown up, graduated, gotten jobs and now will be Freshmen in College.
After surviving six graduations over the last week I can
remember the common theme in all of the ceremonies was to thank those who
helped get you through this phase in life, thanks mom and dad, which is very
important but also to realize that life is just beginning. (My 60’s backdrop
brought to mind a song, ‘We’ve Only Just
Begun’.) Yes our babies can do so much more than crawl, walk and now
drive. I echo most parent’s sentiment that it’s too soon and I’m not ready for
this!
I have cried often during my mom’s long battle with cancer
with the normal expressions of why God, this isn’t fair and why my mom. This
type of emotion is still something that can overwhelm me on occasions when I
think about my mom and how special she was to all of us. Just in a similar
fashion my emotions about my kids and teens is rather similar. I know that one
of the greatest gifts God has given us is the ability to remember our
histories. So as I wrote out a grad card to all of our graduates it struck that
I’m blessed to be like a parent to these kids and teens.
I know that I have a tendency to hold back my feelings. It
is too difficult to express myself when I’m afraid others won’t understand or
will make fun of me. Yet, I know that one of the most important aspects of life
is to be able to share our stories. I totally get why most people don’t want to
be vulnerable and let their guard down only to get shredded or have someone
laugh at them. Yet, the more I allow my emotions to have a part in my life the
more I can sense a peace and contentment that God is doing something rather
amazing.
I know that one of the unwritten codes of youth, especially
for boys, was never to cry and if you did make sure few saw you in tears. I
know that it is unmasculine to show feelings or actually to cry. It is so
important in today’s world to maintain composure regardless of where you are
from. I can remember a movie with Tom Hanks who played a softball coach. He let
out on many occasions that Baseball player don’t cry. So poor little Tommy was
made fun of if something happened to him without mom, dad or brother or sister
to protect him.
I know that most of my guys won’t express themselves unless
they get into some type of big trouble. Then it is okay to show emotions
because they might actually help someone deal better with the mess before them
that is called life. So I know that I cried when our little parrot, Joey, died.
The strange about this was that both Anne and I didn’t like Joey at all because
he was a mean little bird. Yet, when our two little dogs were hit by cars, on
the same night, this was truly one of the saddest moments in our family
history.
I know that there is a time to laugh, make jokes and be
totally wild and even lazy. Much as I also know that there is a time to be
serious, focus and step up and do something amazing that is outside the box.
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