Talk it out!

I know that it is so easy to get worked up over meeting with someone where you have to lay it on the line. I always have visions of either me or the other party losing our cool and getting into a verbal free for all. The end result is usually hard feelings and a sense that no one really listens or cares.  If this is a family situation you can’t walk away from it. I know that many have quit good jobs because of their inability to get along with fellow employees or not being able to mesh with the boss or supervisor.

I wish I had a 1 – 2-  3 format for working through tough circumstances that would work for everyone but this just doesn’t happen. We have had different live with us for both short periods of time and for years. We typically try to have some type of agreement so the ground rules, which aren’t rocket science, can be understood for all involved. I will be the first to confess that life gets busy and it is all too easy to avoid someone that you are at odds with. I know that I shouldn’t be this way but few of us like confrontation.

I have the privilege of being like a dad to many where it does require real live communication. I agree that I error too often by texting or e-mailing and don’t want to waste time on the phone if it isn’t important. I have been chasing down one of my teens that has a tough life. He has lived between different friend’s homes over the last couple of years. He is well intended but has difficulty with focusing, don’t we all and following through. He, like many, has awesome dreams but the inability to prioritize at times what he should do and what he needs to lay aside for a time.

I could tell that my friend was a little afraid of me and didn’t want to talk. He is use to be attacked and made to feel like a failure. My goal was to encourage him and give him a clear path to follow that he could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Presently he would agree that he has been living in his own little world that doesn’t always coincide with reality. It took around twenty minutes for us to be on the same page and realize that neither of us was out to ‘kill the other’.

I know that there is lots of pressure to produce and conform to the expectations of those around us. I just received a txt from a good friend who is deciding to change majors. I truly believe she is making a great decision but her family had a meltdown. I can see why many run from their families because of the inability of relatives to understand someone’s choices in life.

My mom was always a big one on being a good listener. It is too easy to come with your own agenda too often and not be willing or interested in hearing another person’s side of an issue. I also know that one of the more important life lessons is learning to say NO to many things around you. It takes real determination to discern what is the great path for your life instead of being surrounded by good things that become distractions.

I was thrilled last night that at the end of the discussion that the light went on and I could see that my friend was listening. I’m hopefully that tomorrow will be a better day for my teen friend.