I know it is easy at Mother’s Day, Christmas or birthdays to act
as if your mom is truly the best in the world. I truly wish it were the case
that all moms were equal but they are not! I’m around a few moms that
unfortunately leave their kids behind. It’s sad but true and I’m blessed to
have some special friends that have become like second moms to our kids and
teens. I’m very fortunate to have had a mom that was truly exceptional in her
way of loving me and teaching me about life.
I was at Hermoso Rec Center on Friday with a group of our
kids just hanging out. One of the staff, which has become a great friend,
showed me a video about a teen that died from cancer. This teen was incredible
in the way that he faced his own death by choosing to live his life to the
fullest while facing his own mortality. My friend who was showing me this clip
didn’t realize that I was crying as watching. I have a mom who was just like
that teen that faced death by choosing to live and not be selfish but taught me
some rather critical life skills.
I was raised in a great home with a mom and dad who truly
cared. My mom was one that taught us both by her actions and her little life
lesson times. I was raised knowing that it was just as much my job to clean up messes,
as it was my mom’s or if I had a sister. I was taught from an early age that
any job worth doing was worth doing well. I couldn’t walk away from any
situation and give up. Yet, as I live my life today there are too many that
just quit and give up way too easily and settle for the ‘dregs’ of life.
I had a mom who gave herself to her kids 110%. She was the
type of person that was always cheery, honest and quick to speak her mind. She
taught me about the importance of developing friendships. We moved every three
to four years so she was the master of packing, unpacking and making a new home
seem like an old home. I have memories of being dragged around the neighborhood
to be introduced to our new neighbors. I never lacked for friends because of my
mom’s outgoing personality. Sure this bugged me at times! I can remember when I
was a junior in high school and my mom was driving me to school and a friend
ask me if my mom was my older sister. My mom wouldn’t let this one ever go as
she repeated this for years to come that she looked so young and good that even
my friends thought she was a teenager.
The biggest gift my mom gave me is a life lesson on how to
face death. Yeah, this is a rather dreary topic to write about on Mother’s Day
but because of my mom’s positive way of looking at life and her faith in
Christ, she taught me that even though everyone dies not everyone lives. (Not
her words but some Christian Band.) I will always remember the last 10 years of
my mom’s life on earth. She was diagnosed with breast cancer, had surgery and
instead of waiting to die lived a full life. I will cherish the memories of her
figuring out different ways to cover her ‘bald head’ during her chemo treatment
that lasted for years. She was always in the middle of my life, my kid’s lives
and the lives of my brothers and their families.
I can remember going with her to chemo and watching her sit
as they put the needle in her arm. She would sit for an hour or so while they
put the poison into her body. My dad would take her to Denny’s once a week to
just enjoy pancakes and some coffee. It was during her last year or so that her
ability to comfort me was incredible. I was the one that should have been
holding her and expressing my love for her, don’t get me wrong I did try. Yet,
most of the time she was the one telling us she loved us, made sure that we
didn’t have anything between us and then expressed rather clearly that one day
she would be gone. My dad struggled with this and for a portion of time was in
denial about the severity of her disease.
My mom and I share the same birthday, which is truly a gift.
The odd thing about this was that she didn’t discover this until she applied
for her Social Security. What’s weird is that her family celebrated her
birthday the day after mine. As she filed for her Social Security and got a new
birth certificate that showed her birthday as the same as mine. I mention this
because the last time that we were all together was for my mom’s 78th
birthday. My mom was in horrible condition and lived with constant pain. She
didn’t complain much and was always more concerned that we knew that she loved
us and would one day be with Jesus no longer suffering.
What made my mom exceptional was that she faced her own
death in a positive way not pretending she was ok but being honest but not
allowing her circumstances to stop us from being a family. I know that this
impacted my kids and especially my niece and nephew who had been raised by
grandma. Looking back I should have realized that my dad was also suffering
with memory loss issues that made it almost impossible for him to face what was
happening. I can’t fathom the heartache and sense of loss he experienced as he watches
his best friend literally waste away over a few years.
I can’t finish on a down note so my memory of my mom that is
truly special was when I received my Eagle Scout award at the age of 13. I got
all of the credit for this special award but the truth of the matter was that
it was all because of my mom’s involvement in my life that I was able to finish
21 merit badges in less than two years. She was the one that took me all over
the place and taught me that hard work is nothing to fear and that in the end
you get huge dividends. I will always remember the look on her face at the
Eagle Scout Court when I was able to pin on her my Eagle Badge as way of saying
thanks to a mom who was always there for me.
Mom, I miss you! I know that one day we will be back
together again! Please know that I truly appreciate the love you shared and the
life lessons you taught me. I have an exceptional mother who made life my life
the best!
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