Awkward! Think before you open your mouth!

I will be the first to admit that I’ve experienced that moment when I’ve almost died after saying something or messaging something that was totally off and inappropriate. I know that my mouth works 10X faster than my brain. The challenge is that it’s so easy to speak your mind when your mind hasn’t considered the implications or the aftermath of your verbiage! The real issue isn’t my ongoing likelihood of putting my foot in my mouth but the impact on others because of my thoughtlessness! Awkward!

I know as a pastor that it’s so easy in a traumatic situation to say something to fill the quiet truly believing that will help the pain. The reality is that I will end up doing more harm and hurt than if I just stood next to someone and allowed them to express their grief. I know that recently the media, our President and many others have talked a lot about comforting Gold Star Families. What I have gleaned mostly through not being sensitive is that the less said the better and what’s needed most is just a hug or a simple word of condolence. So, stop before you go too far and regret what you’ve let slip out. Don’t be Awkward!

I will always remember talking to one of my dad’s group home owners (my dad suffered with Dementia) that the room my dad was about to occupy was built by her husband. The difficulty was that her husband was killed when doing the electrical for the room addition. What this new friend expressed was how insensitive so many of her friends were in the middle of her heartache. Too many said that God must have needed her husband in heaven to help with the expansion of the pearly gate community. This widow with Jr. High aged kids was in tears as she told her story. Awkward!

I know that one of the most important things in life if you are going to attempt to walk with someone who is hurting from a tragedy is to make sure you know the names of all of those involved. One of the most demeaning moments is when you go to say something of substance and realize you are clueless about everyone’s name. I know that the conversation between a widow from the Niger incident has taken front stage recently. The unfortunate fact is the verbiage that has gone back and forth between our President, a Congresswoman and the media has only heightened the loss of this Gold Star Family.

I know that it’s so easy to talk about being gracious to someone that miss speaks until that individual makes it a habit to spew forth. The present mess in the media can miss the more important point to choose to let go of the limelight and honor the individual who gave their life for their country. The other opportunity for those who misspeak is to be more willing to admit to their unfortunate choice of words and more importantly learn from their awkward moment and speak less in the future. It wouldn’t hurt to ask for advice from a friend instead of repeating that awkward moment from the past.

I will end with an admonition from James that states, “Be slow to speak and quick to listen….!”