Can helping actual hurt someone?

I think all of us have heard the phrase give a man a fish and feed him for a day but rather give him a fishing pole and he can feed himself. This is a very simplistic approach to community development or neighborhood transformation. The reality is that even with a fishing pole and a few lessons of fishing the individual might not be the best fisherman/person. What’s just as important is whether the individual is fishing in a pond that has fish. Forget the topic of whether the pond is clean and the fish are safe to eat!

My life experience is that when I learn a new skill set it happens most often through someone taking the time to train me, walk with me and actually watch me as I figure things out. One of the great opportunities is that it takes lots of time for most to learn something outside their bubble. The difficulty is what happens when a person doesn’t learn or get it? How long do I help someone live before it becomes counterproductive to their life?

I’m privileged to be around some that have a natural ability to start businesses and employ hundreds and even thousands. I’m also around some that I have walked with for years that still struggle with making life happen on a day to day basis. What helps a person more making life easy or allowing them to experience failure at times. This can motivate them to take a different approach to how they view life, learning and owning up. Yet, the reality is that no one should go to bed at night hungry nor be sleeping outside without any protection.

It’s a struggle and at times a battle knowing how to impact a person’s life. This becomes a hot topic of conversation in a local city context where individuals, churches, businesses and the city fathers can clash when it comes to providing resources for the homeless, under employed or those ‘stuck’ in chronic and cyclical poverty. It’s ok to provide shelter, food, clothing and job resourcing with the city overseeing shelters but inappropriate for individuals and churches to personally hand out food, clothing and personal necessities?

So, if I’m going to error in the journey of helping without hurting I will always show grace, mercy and kindness. I can purposely help someone and put them in the position that they must help me help others. The difficulty is that the impact of cyclical generational poverty cripples too often youth growing up in this context. It takes a lot of consistent mentoring, training, pushing and patience to see a young life become committed to excellence and have a passion for life-long learning and being responsible for themselves.

I know that most get annoyed at the homeless person on the corner of the freeways panhandling. I know that family issues and life challenges can put someone in a position that few are there to help and getting a job can be sadly hopeless. So I know that too often many will quote Jesus saying, ‘The poor will always be with you’, as if that’s an excuse not to have to care or help someone.

My life choice is to be willing to always help with an eye to mentoring and motivating the individual to do better but ultimately they have to own up and care about themselves.