Over the summer I had the privilege of taking a group of four Autistic kids to the lake to go tubing. It’s was such a thrill to see the smiles, the woohos and sense of accomplishment on all of their faces. I marveled at the level of compassion and understanding that the group of care givers exhibited during our adventure. Yet, I know that sadly when this group would visit any fast food place or do something else crazy that there would be odd looks and even comments. Why do we as a society still ignore the mental health needs in our community.
I recently did a sermon on the myth of the ‘Happy Christian Life’ with a look at the why of the false premise that being happy is the ultimate goal in life. The reality is that over 25% of all people struggle daily with some type of mental challenge. Tragically there are more than 45,000 suicides a year. Our future generation growing up struggles too much with anxiety and a sense of lostness when they attempt to understand the big questions about life and who is that person they see in the mirror each morning.
I learned first-hand over a decade ago about the impact of memory loss. (Dementia) I walked with my dad over 7 years as he went from being a former Air Force Radar Navigator who literally flew all over the world to someone that would get lost returning from the Walgreens around the corner. He sadly became someone who faced constant paranoia and chose to live in a dark world with all the blinds and doors always closed. I have memories of strange looks even from medical staff in his doctor’s office when he would struggle with anxiety or say something totally off.
I experienced quickly that my role with my dad wasn’t to correct his incredible stories of traveling all over the world with my mom but to sit, listen and smile. It was a fascinating journey for me to watch him over a period of 4 years. I became his special friend and advocate or as he would say rather suspiciously his boss or his dad. My father had the means to stay in an incredible memory loss home where he received the best care and more importantly the freedom to be himself. I can remember taking him for walks or rides in my truck to get ice cream, milkshakes or fries. He loved being out and treated like a real live person and not an invalid.
Why isn’t it possible for most people to step back and learn from friends, family and even strangers about those that have Autism, Asperger syndrome or struggle with anxiety and panic attacks? I have memories as a kid and teen with a few friends who were different being taunted by my peers with slurs or actually abused. Why do we have to label each other? It should be clear in today’s society that there isn’t such a thing as normal that everyone is unique and has special gifts to contribute to the world.
I have close friends who have taught me so much about the importance of listening, loving and learning about their spouse, child or parent who has mental health issues. I was thrilled to hear a friend share how they had met someone at work who too had a unique child and they were able to listen and learn from each other. I recently made a new friend who is teaching me that mental illness isn’t a crime. He has humbled me often with his intellectual astuteness and wide range of knowledge on all topics. My arrogance has been hit hard as I realize that what’s important isn’t my ability to answer all questions but at times be quiet, listen and learn from this friend.
It’s past time for our society to see the urgent importance to learn more about mental health issues and show real empathy. We face a crisis that is impacting all families and communities. We can no longer make snide remarks and slurs about those who face constant threat of break downs and each day is a decision about whether they choose life.
Let’s choose life by intentionally being around seniors who struggle with Dementia or find a group home where you can be a friend to a special kid or teen. My dad has been gone almost 5 years and I miss his big smile and simple way of saying thanks and telling me that he loved me!
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