Smile! It’s a life decision that will rock the world!!

We live in a crazy world where 140 characters can seem to almost kill a company, destroy someone’s reputation or even cause someone to SMILE or laugh! Hopefully a tweet won’t cause a war or the death of someone. My hope is that instead of always being so quick to judge another person we would refrain from saying something caustic, won’t mention any names but instead smile! Yes, most mothers have told their kids or teens that it takes less energy to smile than it does to frown.

I admit to the fact that I’m a people watcher and it boils down to seeing that beauty isn’t about body shape but the gleam that comes out when a young kid or that aging senior smiles and shows you their joy. I know that amid the ongoing Aleppo tragedy there was a pic of a kid that broke the heart of the world, not necessarily our leaders. If we would slow down on occasion, we would see the smiles especially of those that have been hurt by the exploits of others whether that is for the power to conquer another country or build a financial empire.

Today I will attend a memorial service of a friend who died too soon after a freak accident. My friend had become an avid cyclist and nutrionist. I was fortunate to be able to visit my friend who was in a neck brace after having serious surgery. What stood out wasn’t the condition of his body but his glowing SMILE and intent to make me laugh. Yes, he was the one that messed around that forced another friend and I to laugh and cry at the same time. My dear friend taught me even during tragedy that a smile can brighten up anyone’s day.

As I sit here in my Starbuck enjoying my coffee and a muffin it’s a pleasant surprise to see how many of my friends come in with a smile, handshake and cheerful question, ‘how’s it going’? I’m blessed to be around a large variety of people with a rather diverse background and setting. I know that if all of my friends were to be in the same room there might be some rather interesting questions or heated discussions. My hope is that even in the midst of theological, political or racial dialogue everyone would have a smile!

I know that a smile often is best caught than taught. My mom was always quick to tell me that a smile would brighten my day and those around me. She would remind me that having a bad attitude would ruin my day and even damper her day. (She was quick to tell me that she didn’t want that!) So, as I learn from an older retired friend who typically is at Starbucks with me who intentionally smiles and wishes everyone a great day. Even someone who is on a rather different side of the theological tracks.

I love this pic of the bus with the two riders where one is looking at the rock wall with a frown and the other has his camera out taking pics of an exciting landscape. How is it possible to be on the same trail or path in life and see one person looking down, missing out and the other has their head up in the air enjoying a breath-taking sunset.

I confess that my wife has screamed at me for looking at my iPhone and not the awe-inspiring sunset! Ouch! I’m still learning that a smile and looking out and up will change my world!

Friends make life happen!

I know that the number of friends I have on Facebook or followers on LinkedIn doesn’t necessarily mean that when I crash and burn that anyone will notice or care. I confess that I have moments where I think that life would be so less stressful if I didn’t have to bother with friend’s baggage or take the time to share my latest tragedy. Yet, the more I live life I see the need or more honestly the benefit of having a few, not 1,000’s of special friends.

It had a rather sad day yesterday as I mourned the death of a friend but just as important realized the power of friendship. I spent some time with some old friends who I hadn’t seen probably in 10 years. Yet, what made this so special was it like we had spoken a few days ago. How is it possible to reconnect with someone right where you had left off? I’m also awed at how renewing old friendships has the power to re-invigorate my life!

I sat in the middle of a fancy food court a few days ago with a friend that I respect big time. It was incredible to be able to laugh, reflect and share some bad news together. What touched me was that this friend had taken the time to drive almost two hours to visit a mutual friend in the hospital. As we sat enjoying our Gyros I realized that it was our mutual care for a friend in the ICU that gave us an incredible lunch to catch up and care. What struck me was that this friend is a ‘cool’ guy that I should have been more intentional with meeting but it took a tragedy, ultimately the death of a friend, to bring us together.

As I returned home from making a new friend meeting at a ‘hipster coffee place’ I was alarmed at the mess one of my dogs had left me as I talked with a younger friend going through a crisis. What struck me as I listened to my friend was how he trusted me enough to share his heart and sorrow in life. It reminded me of the importance of both being a friend to someone and having a friend to listen.  I seldom top my normal life routine to grieve, cry or take a break but recent death of a friend brought my life back to the forefront.

I confess that too often I define achievement or success in my life by what I do each day. The difficulty is the things that I’m doing are usually good things that see people helped or connected to people that can make a difference. So, what happens when I stop something to focus on something totally different? It struck me as I sent out group texts about canceling tutoring or life group that it was teaching others about what matters or should come first. Yes, its ok to stop, cry, yes Dave had tears and did take a breather or break.

The bigger reminder to me was how easy it is at times to neglect or even ignore my bestie – my wife, partner and amazing best friend. As my Anne came home from work I noticed that she unfortunately had succumbed to the flu bug. It would have been criminal to force her to do tutoring and just as inconsiderate to drag her to meet with a group of old friends to grieve over our mutual friend’s death.

Yes, I love being a friend just as much as my ego fights it I do need FRIENDS! So, open your eyes today to renew a friendship and potentially birth a new friendship J

Didn’t see this coming!

Life has no guarantees and is full of surprises. I recently had a text message and then a couple of phone calls from friends alerting me to a mutual friend who had been in a serious cycling accident. I had no idea that the next week would be a roller coaster ride where my emotions would fly all over the place. I’ve already had the privilege and honor of being with my parents as they faced their own lives downward spiral in their 80’s. I still cry when I hear music that reminds me of my mom. My dad’s situation is a little different in that he lived with us and close to us the last 4 years of his fading away as memory loss took over.

I wasn’t prepared to see someone who had become committed to getting in shape by losin 40 pounds and had become an avid cyclist experience heart breaking tragedy. At the urging of a long distant friend I went to visit our friend who almost broke his neck in this serious accident. I wasn’t prepared to see someone almost paralyzed joke around and be more concerned about church business and my life then his own. I usually want to avoid thinking about my own passing or circumstances that will surround it. I found myself in the middle of lots of people asking questions about life, God, what’s going to happen to his wife and what happens to a church whose pastor dies too soon?

After my initial first visit and having the great opportunity to listen and ask questions to my friend’s surgeon it seemed as if life would unfold with a future and a hope of riding a bike again. Yet, I totally understood why the staff and family didn’t want any visitors over the weekend. I had a close friend that lived an hour plus away decide to come visit on Monday so we decided to go together. I would never have fathomed in my life that our joking around and laughing with our dear friend would be his last in this life.

I was bold and asked our friend who was prone in your typical hospital bed if it was ok to take a picture and more importantly have him say something for his family and friends. Amazingly he was up for the video and told a joke and spoke about his making a full recovery and getting back on his bike.

I reflected with my friend during lunch after our visit how fragile life is and how easy it is to take everything for granted. I had little sense that our friend would decline over the night and be gone to his heavenly home the next day. I was aghast as I received a text from a close friend about his death. I was in tears, stunned, shocked, upset and left with the WHY feeling. At first I thought I could continue with my normal routine but quickly came to the conclusion that my friend demanded my full attention. I canceled the evening plans and fielded questions from a group of local pastor friends. I was an emotional train wreck.

What struck me was how so many of my friends always go the extra mile and don’t care about the impact, time, expense or anything. Giving and caring are at the forefront. This was or I should say is the hallmark of my friend Mark Rowden. His first comment to me when I first visited wasn’t about his accident, future but about some technical business on a church level. I laughed at him but I realized it was his way of showing me concern for my future.

I had sent out FB messages an e-mail to a larger group of pastor friends to share the journey of our brother. As I processed what had happened I was still in shock and on the verge of tears for the remainder of the evening. I had an e-mail from a close older friend who helped me be more real with the reaction of tears and the WHY question to God and myself.

I’m thankful for good friends who help with the ‘didn’t see it coming’ experience with choosing to be there and not pretending to be busy. Much as one of the nurses had mentioned in the hallway is that the greater need isn’t when someone is in the ICU but when they’ve been out in rehab for months. In this context, it will be choosing to be involved with a grieving widow who is wondering about her life and future.

I want to thank my friend Mark for his living example of being a servant leader that followed Christ until his own homecoming!