The Real Graduations

Looking back at my life there are many milestones that stand out. I know most think about graduations, i.e. kindergarten, elementary school, 8^th grade, High School, College and Graduate School. Or it can be a wedding, birth of a child and then the graduation process for that child. This week has seen a few of my kids graduate from Jr. High. I know for some making a big deal about graduations is what life is all about. I can still remember last year’s graduation with Alexis and the limo. Explain to me why a bunch a kids from the ‘hood’ would raise money for a limo. I’ll never forget the expression on Alexis’ face when the limo driver explained that the group had him for 2 hours not the whole day.

The real graduations in life occur as we figure out the real meaning and path of life. I know that for me this is seeing a lot of hard work connect back to real people making better decisions that see circumstances change. We did a house-painting project a few weeks ago that saw lots of people come out and do something tangible with their faith. The end result was that a couple of houses were painted, a great picnic party happened in a park, lots of kids and adults had fun and had lunch. The following week a txt message from someone we are helping showed the real impact – a resume had been typed out and then e-mailed to one of my team members who is going to help facilitate a life-changing program.

I know that the perception of some will be that Dave loves to play games, plan big events and gather lots of volunteers, love on his kids but real life transformation isn’t happening. Last night a txt from one of the mom’s whose daughter is graduating said it best – thxs for being there for her and you and Anne are the best. The journey of life transformation is a slow and mysterious process. You can’t rush someone’s journey of discovering life and the one who has given life.

I am thankful for being allowed to be part of many kids and adult’s awakenings. I know that for me to see Andee, former wild child, actually act as if my presence at her graduation was a big deal seemed to be out of this world. A few months ago she would have been the teen to cut up, talk all the time and definitely not pay attention. Now she is someone who draws others to Jesus.

Life is exciting when you follow the One who changes lives!

It Happened!

I know that the journey with my family over the last 4 years has been both heart breaking and also hope centered. I know that watching my mom die over a period of a year or so was devastating. She was my best friend and in many ways my inspiration to stand up and face anything in life. As a kid growing up you don’t think often if at all about what life will be like with one of your parents being gone. I know that I relived my parent’s lives as I cleaned out their house of 15 years. As we emptied the bookshelves onto the floor and then bagged up loose papers, mostly trash and boxed the rest I saw pictures and artifacts that had my life flash before me.

Little did I ever expect to have to be a caretaker for my dad? I guess never expected to be in this position. Over the last year or so it became obvious that dad wasn’t able to handle the pressure or stress of not having his lady and then the challenge of being alone took its tool on him. I can remember my first real exposure to his fears when we talked last October and November about the fact that he was broke and someone was after him. It was rather difficult to discuss anything with my dad because he assumed that he had all of the info and we had talked about this before. I finally decided to leave and visit to see for myself if dad was really on the edge.

We visited at Thanksgiving to be with him and my brother’s family. My goal in going was to empty out one of his storage units. I will never forget my dad’s response to this simple request, can I have the key – NO! I attempted to explain in a logical manner why this would be a good thing and how easy it would be for both Anne and I to empty out this one unit that he has spent thousands on over the years knowingly how my mom had wanted this gone. This again confirmed my sense that dad wasn’t in a good situation living at home.

I had a busy weekend planned between a large painting project with a 100 volunteers coming and also a church meeting the day before. The weather had been horrible all week with torrential rains. My team leaders for the painting project finally decided with me to postpone the project for a month and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to hit the road and see dad and kidnap him. I arrived around 6 AM and called him after I woke up and said I would come over and we could either go out for breakfast or stay at the house and talk.

We went out to Denny’s and my dad easily swallowed down his breakfast. I explained to him that I thought he should come out for a visit and consider, under a hushed voice, live with us. I came over the next morning and said dad let’s go. So he fumbled around and found a suitcase and began a slow arduous process of getting a few things together and after a couple of hours was ready to go.

Initially my dad seemed to like being in a totally different place and enjoyed the chaos and busyness of our lives. He actually liked our kids who came over weekly and came to church a few times. Slowly he started taking over the house as he helped out. He was the expert fly swatter, coffee maker, cleaner upper, etc… Our arguments revolved around his fear of someone coming after him and my unwillingness to listen and understand. Anne was the amazing one who listened for hours about an assortment of things such as how the Chinese or Pakistanis were after him. My patience went in cycles when I would sit and list

My Anne and Heather spent months looking at different places that might become home for my dad. I stayed out of this and let them narrow it to two places. I looked at both of these places and it was really difficult to know what was more important for dad. After much prayer and visiting both places a couple of times we decided on Chris Ridge Village. I knew that all of this work required my dad to actually want to go and live in some where besides my house.

We met with a couple of the staff and they explained how dad had to be interviewed by them, examined by a doctor and then get a chest x-ray before he could transition into his new home. My dad hadn’t been out of the house in months and wasn’t easy to persuade to do something at a specific time. So the initial visit with the two main staff ladies was a total surprise that he was able to relate to them and seemed to understand what we were doing. The second visit was more challenging in that the doctor was going to make a house call on my dad and do a simple interview and exam. My dad was still very adamant that he wasn’t on any meds and didn’t need to see a doctor. So the day of the doctor visit was a little stressful. My dad was more confused this dad and didn’t seem ready for a visit. Yet, in spite of this he was still able to answer questions and allowed the doctor to do a few things.

I was still expecting the worse when it came to him actually moving out of the house and going to his new place. The last hurdle was having a chest x-ray. I found a company that has a mobile unit that comes to the house. I connected with them made an appointment and the day was here. I thought for sure my dad would balk at this. Again, he was a pleasant surprise and talked with the tech guy and actually thought it was fun. He is in great shape so the test came back normal.

The following week or so was a blur as we shopped and spent his money to give him the coolest living set up ever. The weekend before the move in we had everything delivered and started setting everything up. It was a lot of work but also a lot of fun. Especially with his new large screen TV. and his IKEA kitchen unit. The place looked great and with his awesome recliner it was time for the move. The morning of the move I was afraid of pushing his button and really didn’t want to see him early in the morning. Yet, he peeked his head into my office early in the morning and I reminded him that today was the day. He looked at me with a smile and said he was ready.

Little did I ever imagine that this Monday was going to be a miracle day? I had assumed that he would fight us in getting into the car, driving and then actually going into his new place. I spent most of the day at his place fixing up last minute things. Anne actually got him to pack his stuff and get ready to go, albeit about 2 hours later than expected. They arrived around 6:45PM and we took him on a quick tour of the downstairs, which is really cool. He was very talkative and seemed to go out of his way to meet all of the people out for the evening. He went up to his room and you could tell that he was surprised and excited about having his own place. We didn’t unpack but just left his containers and persuaded him to go out for dinner. Again, remember he hadn’t been out of the house in months and had been opposed to going out to eat.

That dinner was amazing in that we enjoyed the meal, talked a bunch and then he said he was ready to go and get ready for bed. Over the next couple of weeks it became clear that this was the perfect move for him. I again tested his thinking when I bought him a computer and assumed he would want to use it. I set up his imac and he was like a little kid at Christmas. He still has this thing about wanting the instructions for everything and wanting to understand how to set up e-mail, make his phone work or reset his watch. We still spar at times but it is nothing like it had been the last year or so.

I am excited for my dad to have new friends and a sense of peace and security. He had been living in fear for the last 3 years and now seems to be able to sleep at night and not ask too many questions about the Internet, cell phones or being followed. I love my dad and now hope to spend lots of time with him doing a variety of things.

I know that mom is pleased and wants him to make some new friends and live life again. Dad, I love you and am thrilled that we can be friends in a real way.

The Call

New City makes burritos on a monthly basis and takes them to the downtown area of Phoenix that has numerous homeless shelters. We have been doing this for 1.5 years. Each time we do this I pray that I would be able to talk to at least one person. We always have different groups help us both make the burritos and hand them out.

This time I talked with Kevin. He is a tall man, with long hair that abruptly asked me to pray for him. He had court today and was nervous about what was going to happen. This is sad to say but I have given my card to many in this area and said call and let me see what I can do to help. Until Kevin no one had called. Today I got a voice mail from Kevin saying that he wanted to talk.

I am so sorry that I didn’t have my phone next to me. I pray that Kevin will call back and get me. He called from a number at Andre House that didn’t give access to a real person, but just messages about their services. I am excited to hear his story and discover what happened in court today. I know that the look of most faces when we hand out the burritos is one of thankfulness and a true appreciation for shaking a hand and listening for a minute.

Now I hope that Kevin will take a step and call me again. I pray that I can be persistent in finding him this week. Jesus loves the lost, the least and the last. I pray that I can learn how to also care for those who have been forgotten and overlooked.

Stand Up

My life at present is somewhat stressful with dealing with my dad as we transition him into a senior complex. I love my dad but because of his dementia and roller coaster emotional outbursts he isn’t the easiest person to help. As I continue to see God open doors and teach me about relating to my neighborhoods I see the lesson that I am learning with my dad is patience and persistence. I can’t stop caring and allow distractions to stop me from doing what’s right.

God has blessed me with some great examples in my neighborhood of people who are standing up for the truth and doing real community development work. The challenge is that this slow, hard and frustrating. One of my heroes is Fay who is a long term resident in South Phoenix. She is involved with so many different things but what stands out is that she is quick to speak the truth in love to help people see the difference between a quick fix and a real long-term solution. She is slow to give out ‘freebies’ and would rather see people step up and stand up for themselves with Jesus’ help. She is a true partner who I am coming to appreciate and see my need to watch, listen and learn as I to walk in our neighborhood.

I have another new friend, Cynthia, who also is a long term resident in South Phoenix. Her parents had birthed a ministry of helps in their home 30 plus years ago. Cynthia is caring out their passion to see the neighborhood transformed. She too wants to walk with me as we learn together about community revitalization. I am learning that grassroots efforts and word of mouth are the better way to impact a neighborhood. I see the need for connecting with the people who have a heart for the community and through them learn more about the needs that are crucial to address. The challenge is learning how to connect with the people who don’t care and see God motivate and transform them to be different.

There is real evil in these neighborhoods that is always looking at what we are doing. It is a spiritual force that at times can be oppressive and even overwhelming. The good news is that Jesus is greater than any of them. The opportunity is to ask God to help me start praying for them, loving them and being open to learn about life from their perspective. I am still the outsider coming on their turf wanting to take over. So what we are doing threatens them because this is a war. I know that this is going to be a battle that can only be fought and won with spiritual power.

I write this just to give thanks to God who continues to introduce me to the right people who are in the right places. So open your eyes to find the Fays and Cynthia’s in your neighborhood or workplace.

Why?

As Easter approaches it is always important to reflect and remember the why of what Christ did. I know for me personally it is easy to react to the hype of the bigger churches with Easter and Christmas. Jesus didn’t come in some flashy way to get our attention. There weren’t any fireworks with his birth and if anything the Romans and Jews attempted to have a total cover up with his death. What stands out is that Jesus didn’t want to stand out.

I am eternally grateful for the Son of God’s choice to come, leave behind his glory and power and willfully take up himself a life of a servant that ultimately saw a cross as a door back to his father. How is it possible that the one who was sinless would come and take upon himself my sin?

As I do more work in South Phoenix the reality that most people don’t trust each other and that it doesn’t matter whether you are a Christian or not continues to hit me. What has to happen in order for a Hispanic to trust an African American or a White guy to be welcomed into either of these churches? Why can’t we work together instead of working against each other?

Easter gives me the hope that there is one who has broken the barrier between different ethnic groups. Only Jesus who has literally bled on our behalf is able to reconcile us to one another. I know that my life is broken and needs to be fixed. I know that there are many things missing in my neighborhood in order for it to work. The journey is allowing God to do his work of redemption through people that usually are forgotten is exciting. I can’t imagine the sense of hopelessness that the thief on the cross had as he was dying only to discover that the one next to him wasn’t just a man but the Son of God. As Jesus welcomed him into eternity there was hope that death was a new beginning into a better life.

Yes, the tomb was empty and the Angels proclaimed that he is risen! Yes, he is risen indeed! I know that tomorrow can and will be a better day.

Reflecting

I always like to rethink what I take away from a conference a few weeks after the fact. I have to be honest and say that I wasn’t really ready to get up early and take a whole day to get to New City Chattanooga but after having done it have to admit it was really worth it. I continue to see the value and importance of keeping relationships alive of people who are doing urban work. Some of my heroes or mentors are those who have been doing this type of work for decades.

I appreciated being able to listen to both Barry and Aaron Henning who have been doing mercy work in St. Louis over the last 2 decades plus. What is truly amazing is that they choose to move into the neighborhood where they are serving. Most of the core of the church have transitioned into this neighborhood over the years. This act in itself is truly humbling and telling. They live in rather small old flats that have required a lot of work to transform them and also keep them up and running. I know personally that doing mercy or kingdom work from a distance isn’t as effective.

The key concept that stood out was rather simple but ultimately the essence of the kingdom. God has called us to humble ourselves and this comes into play with everything. So often the gospel is confused with middle class living and that the real goal of missions is to help people transform their lifestyles to become like ‘White, educated, middle class America’. Barry’s heart was so clear that this isn’t the gospel or kingdom intention of Jesus. We are to follow Jesus who left all behind in order that the poor might become rich spiritually.

The message which none of us what to embrace is that Christ is calling us to catch the vision that less is more. I am willing to share out of my abundance with someone who is struggling? This isn’t an easy step to take for anyone. If I do it for the wrong reasons, i.e. I want to get attention, be a crusader of the poor instead of truly loving God and then loving people then my actions aren’t going to be effective.

The adventure God calls us to pursue isn’t one with any guarantees. Aaron who is involved with doing hands on training of youth knows first hand that to run a non-profit that is building lives is always risky. Each year he trains close to 100 individuals in the summer with the craft of tuck-pointing. He has many interns that come for the summer to help work and train the youth. He has a large budget that is reflective of the extent of the work he is doing. Every year it is the same that there isn’t enough funding to begin the training in the summer but they always finish with everyone getting paid and the amazing transformation of someone going from being totally undisciplined to becoming a learner and worker is incredible.

I don’t know if I am thrilled about being humbled but when you see the ultimate perks both in helping others and just as much being helped yourself why not dive in and discover the impact that grace, mercy and humility will have in your life.

Kingdom Culture

I was pleased to have had the privilege of coming to the PCA’s Mercy Conference at New City Fellowship of Chattanooga. I have fallen in love with the CCDA group which has much more to offer when it comes to both understanding and doing urban community development work, yet I have to be honest and say God is doing some great things in the PCA in the area of mercy church. I have grown to appreciate the heart and work of both Barry and Randy who are pastors who have been doing community work for decades. They in many ways are both my mentors and encouragers. So I was excited to finally make it to Chattanooga after flying literally for all day.

I didn’t come expecting some overwhelming message or image that would be imprinted on my mind or heart, yet what I left with is something that will help me for a lifetime. I think I am learning that the Kingdom Work that God has laid before me isn’t to make poor people into middle class people but to get middle – upper middle class people to walk towards them and share their possessions and means with them. I loved hearing the simple message that Kingdom work isn’t going to necessarily win awards or get front-page headlines in newspapers or on the net.

I was fortunate to listen to what I have come to view as my personal heroes of community development. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to Maria who has raised her 5 kids in the urban area of Baltimore. She was great on being transparent and honest about the difficulty of making boundaries to both protect her family and also allow special friends to be part of her life and help them grow and develop. Her oasis seemed to be experienced through her writing simple poems that expressed the heart ache of watching the impact of poverty, being fatherless and the war over a person’s soul. She gave hope that there is a reason not to quit or walk out of the hood or ghetto.

I at first wasn’t really impressed with Barry from NCF in St. Louis as a dynamic speaker but have grown to see him as one who understands the ‘lay of the land’ for doing community work. I so much resonate with his heart to see the kingdom as being called to live humbly through the gospel. Expectations take on a different look when you leave behind your ‘white’ guy culture of bigger is better, play toys are everything and realize that people or kids are what is truly important. I had an opportunity to connect with Barry and especially his son, Aaron who is into his 15th year of doing youth mentoring through doing construction work. It would be easy to look down at Aaron as just being a kid when he is truly a seasoned veteran of doing community development work. I continue to see a common theme – God’s calls for the long haul, there are no simple easy answers to life’s trouble.

I know that I have blessed to see God work so quickly through what has and will happen at New City in Phoenix. God has given me a passion and heart for these neighborhoods that have people with real names and faces. I am truly blessed to have many new friends who are willing to help with tutoring our kids and helping paint houses of low-income seniors. I am amazed at how many have helped over the last couple of years in impacting our neighborhoods where God has placed New City or Barrio Nuevo. As I sit in the last session of the conference I am skeptical of whether Thurman, the Black Brother, will just turn out to be another middle class guy that is more interested in looks and style. The Lord truly blows me away as he preaches a great sermon on the Good Samaritan. Yes, he looks good and has an amazing delivery as a Black Brother, which he should. The important point is that his message just reinforces what has already been said over the last 24 hours. Don’t walk away from anything without giving out grace and mercy. Yes, you can make a difference and no you are not going to be a world changer but a life changer. The message still comes out loud and clear the kingdom is a mustard seed that has small beginnings and should never be forced into the secular mindset of bigger is better or you have to make someone into you for them to succeed in life.

As I stepped back to assess what is it I am suppose to talk home it was simple as Thurman finished – do likewise – be like the good Samaritan, don’t walk away expend your resources, learn to trust God more and be willing to step out and do foolish things for the kingdom. Yes, I am learning that God only promises to take care of today and I am suppose to trust him for tomorrow and future needs. I know there are no guarantees in life and that God’s faithfulness doesn’t include getting an ipad or the next generation of macbook pro laptop. I may have to walk away from my present house and move into either my painting or habitat neighborhood in the next year.

God thanks for all you have been teaching me through my new friends both kids and adults over the last year or so. You have brought me many great partners to help and then some incredibly people to walk with us on this urban journey that is for a lifetime.