CL?

I have become an expert at buying and selling mostly laptops on Craigslist. It is always interesting to see whom God brings across my path when I’m in the process of selling or buying a laptop. I’m always shopping around for great deals on older inexpensive MacBook’s. I’m also learning that you don’t have to buy something brand new but can get someone else to buy it and then save hundreds when they decide for some reason they don’t want it or need the cash. I love to barter or trade.

I had been looking for a newer MacBook pro to use for church and doing presentations. The old Frog, aka 6 year old mbp 17” is still a good computer but slow when it comes to streaming. So I find a great deal on a laptop that is under a year old for 50% of original price. I know that getting this means I have to let go of the Frog. I was blessed to be able to preach at another church and used the gift for preaching to help with getting this newer machine that is really in perfect condition.

I pick up my ‘lime’ green machine, it has a cover, and now advertise on CL the Frog. It was only minutes after posting it that I had a couple of calls and texts. I usually don’t get too excited because I know it might take a few days to have the right person find me. Yet, as I listened to Anthony he seemed to be a good fit, a video guy that will work with Charter Schools. We talk in the afternoon but I have to go see my dad and have no idea how long it will take. I end up cooking a great dinner because my Anne is really sick and out of it. We finished our great gourmet feast and then I remember that my phone is upstairs and that this Anthony guy might have called.

I find my iPhone and discover he has called and texted. He’s serious and wants to meet. So I quickly erase any important info and refresh the laptop. I agree to meet at the Starbucks on 24^th. He actually lives close by. I am assuming because of his voice that he’s African American. I’m getting a cup of brew and its obvious as he walks in that it’s Anthony. He’s a little bigger in size but obvious a former football guy. We sit and start talking and within minutes it’s obvious that we have lots in common and his wife teaches at one of the high schools where some of our teens attend.

I explain my frustration with the African American Family structure in South Phoenix and the unfortunate absence of dads or male role models. I chuckle and say that my only other good male role model is also another Anthony. I share about what we are doing and he actually calls his wife and we talk. Amazing that we live in such a small world. What are the odds via CL to connect with someone who is a video wiz that has a passion for youth and wants to help High School Students?

It is truly amazing when God sets something up it is so obvious. I know that Anthony was on a mission to find the right MacBook for his work. He had already been to a couple of pawnshops and used computer places. My Frog was the better choice for the price. I was fortunate to get this from someone who sold it for almost ½ what it is worth. I’m blessed to have a better laptop for what we are doing and he is blessed to get the bigger screen for doing his work. God is at work and I too often am the beneficiary of a great blessing.

Mr Mom or I like being a dad

Yesterday was supposed to be a day off but turned into a let’s get the house more organized, go through 20 boxes of books, sort a master closet, go to Goodwill or least empower Terrance to do that and then clean the house after having a BBQ with 50 bodies slimming the bathrooms and tile floors. I will be the first to admit that I love being able to do things that help my wife and family. I knew that my Anne, who is really sick and had to work, would be re-leaved to see the house cleaned and the closets cleaned out. The real goal was to get the garage back in shape to pull the truck in at night. The great news was that the truck fit even though it is just by an inch or so.

Last night I wanted to collapse and not go anywhere or do anything. So when my daughter the gourmet cook offered a free meal it wasn’t too difficult of a choice. We had been busy the last 5 nights in a row but we do want to promote family time with our grown kids. I knew that Anne would enjoy being with our Julie but really needed to be home in bed.

As we pulled into the condo complex and found a parking spot I was looking forward to some great soup and an early evening. As we knocked on the door it was a great surprise to see one of our daughter’s friends who is part of our ‘family’ also. We joked a little and then sat and enjoyed some home made bread and hot soup. It was the perfect combination. We did the usual table chat that wasn’t too deep or revealing.

It was after we finished the gourmet soup that we sat down and sort of watched the TV and the Alcatraz Pilot. As I talked with my Julie’s friend I had remembered that she had transitioned from her job at the Detention Center to being a paralegal. We had met her lawyer boss who was also her roommate at Christmas. I had listened to how their law firm had split. So I jokingly asked her how the divorce was going and what was happening. She instead thought I had been talking about her ex and the circumstances around him. I wasn’t expecting a time of confession and her opening up but that’s what happened. All of a sudden I realize that between having her ex take her to the cleaners, lose their house, have her mom die and be responsible for the funeral expenses that she was hurting big time.

My dad side does kick in often. Our hearts were broken with this story of someone that wanted to do things right but everyone was literally against her. She tried to work with her lender to get her house situation fixed but the more she tried the more obvious it wasn’t going to happen. Much like her financial mess wasn’t from high living or shopping at Macy’s or Neman Marcus. I’m no financial expert but have learned from experience to get rid of the credit cards and stop spending what you don’t have. Get an emergency fund established before you do anything else. It’s amazing to be able to pay cash for something and not spread it over months of a credit card payment.

We mostly talked about her running the ½ marathon the day before. Life kinda fits into this running paradigm. If we are going to run a full marathon we need to get into training for at least 4 months in advance. The way you do everything changes and your view of spare time, what you eat and how you rest become very important. It is true that life is both mental and physical. As we finished our dessert and discussion Anne and I wanted to kidnap our other daughter and give her some loving. I know what it is like to lose your mom but not what it is like to lose both mom and your spouse.

After we arrived home I knew that I had to get my Anne to bed but I still had to play taxi for Terrance and Toniel who were over. It had been a busy day but finished on a great note with being able to listen and love on a 20 something kid that needed a hug and a mom and dad.

Yo Yo Life?

We had an incredible weekend, I think? We had the opportunity this last week to go out with some dear friends that we have known for 13 years. This pastor friend has suffered in a way that I can’t relate to or attempt to understand. So as I share my yo yo life I know that JP’s will give perspective. We went out with this East Coast couple to Cibo’s, which is a rather different type of Urban Place that is a retro house with an amazing outside area. The only challenge in January in Phoenix is that it can really be cold at night. So we decided to get a table faster than waiting for an inside table and braved the sub freezing temps of 57 degrees.

We had a great time sharing some delicious food that was different but a tastefully type of different that was a lot of fun. As we listened to JP’s journey, which is now part like 30, he’s lost 2 wives and is on number 3, oops Deb you are so much more than a number. I was encouraged to better understand my calling to be exactly where I am and love the people, even if there are too many teens the gospel is at work!

I did endure a long-winded presentation at a little conference with JP but it was worth it to be with my good friend. So the weekend began with an early hike up the Superstition Mountains with a group of 40 being led by two great friends that are crazy enough to take a group of teens and little kids. I would have loved to hear the rangers and volunteers talk about this multi-colored group that overwhelmed the small group of senior hikers.

I had to take a break from writing because the manager of my Starbucks decides to sit and talk for over an hour. I had to almost remind him that he needed to get to work so I would be able to finish my blog – haha. If that wasn’t enough there was another guy, Scott, who I had briefly talked with before that was overhearing our conversation about community involvement that had to ask questions.

We had a busy weekend but it was great seeing all of our kids for Chinese Buffet, Anne was able to watch our Jon’s girlfriend run the PF Chang’s ½ Marathon and I was able to preach at a downtown church, which was actually a lot of fun. As our evening approached we did our usual monthly dinner gathering which went really well even though it was cold and rained a little as we were outside. It was great being able to have a fire outside to warm us up.

I noticed that my Anne was on the phone outside and knew that it had to be her dad. I know that he had called a day before but we didn’t’ connect. I had decided to go see my dad after dropping off all of our teens. He needed some food and TLC. I am obviously concerned about his progress after his stroke. The night before he wasn’t doing very well. He was freaked out because he asked one of the staff for our phone number and they gave him an old number that didn’t work. He called up our cells, which he usually does any way but acted as if something was wrong. I couldn’t get out of him what was the problem. So when we arrived it was clear that he really thought we had abandoned him.

I got home late last night and my Anne was already in bed snoring. I didn’t mess with her because I knew she was sick and didn’t need to be bothered. So it wasn’t until she was getting to leave for work that she told me her mom had just had a stroke. We have been walking on pins and needles the last six months because Nani has had significant health issues. We both know that are parents are getting old and at some point will go home to heaven. The difficulty is that they might be ready for that but we aren’t at a point in life where we can accept this.

I could see in my Anne’s eyes what had happened. I can remember getting mad on more than a few occasions when my kids or Anne had said some things about how I was acting and blew up and said you don’t understand what it is like to have your mom die and then your dad have dementia and not be ok. I never wanted to wish on anyone ill health. So both of us ache as we live in the midst of too much brokenness and hurt. I’m reminded daily of this with the work that we do, our friends and just life overall.

Our little dog Peanut was limping the last couple of days. I can get emotional over our dogs, especially our little guys because a car that we both witnessed killed their mom. As I write this blog it isn’t to complain, at least too much, but more reflect on the fact that life can be a yo yo or roller coaster ride at times. So I know that just as I experience a down swing in life that God will bring us back up. As a kid I was actually a talented yo yoer. I actually won a few competitions and still can ‘walk the dog’ or ‘rock the cradle ’. I don’t want to bring life down to the level of a Duncan Yo Yo because it has so much value and worth by God’s design! The challenge is that it is easy at times to get discouraged and think that my life is a yo yo. It is only through family, friends and God’s intervention that I feel loved. So even as I sat in my Starbucks my friend Joseph, the manager, made my day by choosing to sit for an hour and talk.

Connecting?

Yesterday I had schemed with another pastor friend to drop in on a meeting of another group. (I won’t mention names) I was excited to meet some new brothers and especially connect with a close friend who has gone through so much in his life. (He is on his third wife after his last two have died and gone home to heaven.) I txt my pastor friend and jokingly say I’m not going unless he is going. It’s at least a 30-45 minute drive and of course I have other things to do.

I call him and get him to commit to drive the distance and meet me at this small little church. As I approach the neighborhood I call to check up on him and discover that he is just getting on the freeway and is at least 30 minutes behind me. I come across as an extrovert and people person, which I am but I don’t always like walking into a totally new setting especially with people who I know are a little different from me. I pull into the parking lot and answer a call and then make my way into the fellowship hall where obviously the brothers are finishing their lunch.

I initially make an excursion to the restroom and then as I’m ready to talk with my good friend I get a call, which I answer and it takes me outside. It was a welcome distraction; I secretly wanted my other friend to show up first. As I get off the phone with a lady who wants us to paint her church I see my friends who are visiting. We connected, do the usual hug and hand shake. We make our way into the meeting room. I’m hoping that at least someone will notice that a stranger has walked into the room or my friend might introduce me to the larger group.

The group was just re-gathering and beginning to go over the schedule and then takes about 20 minutes to pray, which I enjoyed. As we are finishing I noticed my late friend making his way into this meeting room and ends up sitting in the back. As I glanced at the agenda for today I realized we had picked the wrong time to visit because the focus was on something totally different then we expected. I know that my following comments can be considered critical but just hear me out.

I struggle with many in the Christian fold who would rather focus on what makes them different from everyone else instead of focusing on what we have in common. I totally understand the need to have convictions that drive us to be faithful. The challenge is how can we do this without purposely being obnoxious, pigheaded and in some contexts unfriendly or mean spirited. I understand that often my view, which I obviously believe is totally true isn’t in the majority. So do I go out of my way to highlight our differences and go on the attack mode?

I decide, different from my pastor friend who bails after an hour, to stick it out and listen for the next three hours. I’m not sure if my close friend who is visiting picked up on my vibes but I started to get uncomfortable. What is odd or strange is that I share most of the convictions that these guys were talking about but the difference is that I don’t see them as a means to attack or make others feel like they don’t get it. I was pleasantly surprised that the schedule got changed so the break was 30 minutes early. This meant I had an earlier escape that had previously been thought. So I say my goodbyes to my visiting friends who we will take out for dinner tonight.

As I’m walking out I text my other friend that he was a rat and left me in the cold. He quickly calls me not to repent but complain and vent again. What is funny is that he is much more part of the group we left than I am but has a heart that breaks for people that are on the outside. I got home just in time to get ready for our tutoring and get money for a single mom so she can have gas for the van and electricity for the week.

As my Anne comes home I tell about what had happened and wonder whether I had wasted 3 hours of my day or whether I needed to be stretched? I do take the time to visit the group’s website and go over a couple of articles that just re-enforced the groups choice to make their focus on their differences and distinctives. As my evening finishes I end up going to Church’s Chicken to get a late dinner and follow through on a bet to try fried Okra. I hate to say that my day finished better with the Okra then sitting through a tedious 3 hour session that was more bent on pushing me even farther away from this other group which in my spirit hurt.

Up Early?

This morning I was rather surprised when my Anne got up at our normal time, 4:30 AM and instead of putting on jogging apparel instead got into the shower. I was assuming she had to get to work early or something. So as she is putting the finishing touches to her hair and makeup I ask the obvious do you know that it is early? My Anne’s response was ahhhhh because she thought it was an hour later and she was going to rush to have to get to work. So we instead took the dogs for a walk, got her lunch ready afterwards and she left on time as usual.

It is always amazing what happens when you get up early and have a pro-active mindset versus waiting for someone or thing to get you. This morning as I am sitting at my Starbucks getting ready to write this blog and do e-mail I overhear two guys that are teachers start talking about their situations. I quickly jump into the conversation about life and school and start talking about what we do. All of a sudden Mark, who is rather tall and overshadowing, becomes a friend who is quick to echo my experience of working with teens in the hood.

Scott, the other teacher, starts talking about his teen daughter who is going to an alternative type of charter school and wants something different of better. We end up talking about schools and overall life issues for about 15 minutes. As I step back and think about why I get up early I would have missed these guys, who I do see everyday but hadn’t actually talked to them before. So now I have two new friends, Mark and Scott. I also know that Scott especially will consider getting involved with some of his teens from Chavez who need community service.

I know that Jesus must have driven his disciples crazy when it came to his schedule. They would get up at the normal time and have this paniced look that maybe he had left them or gone back to heaven because he was no-where to be found. Jesus understood the importance of being on top of life and not letting circumstances control you. I know that there have been many books written about the tyranny of the urgent. It is too easy to let the little things in life blind you to the more important things. I love the book “Good to Great”. I know that it is easy for me to get sidetracked with doing good things that aren’t necessarily the best.

I have some friends who will ask don’t you ever sleep in or take a vacation from getting up so early. Yeah, we do get some rest and relaxation but usually our bodies are so programed that we still wake up by 5:30 or 6. I so much enjoy the early morning time to think, plan and just meditate on the Word or good things. It has been so much fun befriending the baristas at my Starbucks. This would never happen if I decided to come in at 8:30 when it is so busy.

Yes the early bird does catch the worm and those who snooze do loose is a fact of life. So why not catch the worm and why not win by simply being there on time!