Connecting?

Yesterday I had schemed with another pastor friend to drop in on a meeting of another group. (I won’t mention names) I was excited to meet some new brothers and especially connect with a close friend who has gone through so much in his life. (He is on his third wife after his last two have died and gone home to heaven.) I txt my pastor friend and jokingly say I’m not going unless he is going. It’s at least a 30-45 minute drive and of course I have other things to do.

I call him and get him to commit to drive the distance and meet me at this small little church. As I approach the neighborhood I call to check up on him and discover that he is just getting on the freeway and is at least 30 minutes behind me. I come across as an extrovert and people person, which I am but I don’t always like walking into a totally new setting especially with people who I know are a little different from me. I pull into the parking lot and answer a call and then make my way into the fellowship hall where obviously the brothers are finishing their lunch.

I initially make an excursion to the restroom and then as I’m ready to talk with my good friend I get a call, which I answer and it takes me outside. It was a welcome distraction; I secretly wanted my other friend to show up first. As I get off the phone with a lady who wants us to paint her church I see my friends who are visiting. We connected, do the usual hug and hand shake. We make our way into the meeting room. I’m hoping that at least someone will notice that a stranger has walked into the room or my friend might introduce me to the larger group.

The group was just re-gathering and beginning to go over the schedule and then takes about 20 minutes to pray, which I enjoyed. As we are finishing I noticed my late friend making his way into this meeting room and ends up sitting in the back. As I glanced at the agenda for today I realized we had picked the wrong time to visit because the focus was on something totally different then we expected. I know that my following comments can be considered critical but just hear me out.

I struggle with many in the Christian fold who would rather focus on what makes them different from everyone else instead of focusing on what we have in common. I totally understand the need to have convictions that drive us to be faithful. The challenge is how can we do this without purposely being obnoxious, pigheaded and in some contexts unfriendly or mean spirited. I understand that often my view, which I obviously believe is totally true isn’t in the majority. So do I go out of my way to highlight our differences and go on the attack mode?

I decide, different from my pastor friend who bails after an hour, to stick it out and listen for the next three hours. I’m not sure if my close friend who is visiting picked up on my vibes but I started to get uncomfortable. What is odd or strange is that I share most of the convictions that these guys were talking about but the difference is that I don’t see them as a means to attack or make others feel like they don’t get it. I was pleasantly surprised that the schedule got changed so the break was 30 minutes early. This meant I had an earlier escape that had previously been thought. So I say my goodbyes to my visiting friends who we will take out for dinner tonight.

As I’m walking out I text my other friend that he was a rat and left me in the cold. He quickly calls me not to repent but complain and vent again. What is funny is that he is much more part of the group we left than I am but has a heart that breaks for people that are on the outside. I got home just in time to get ready for our tutoring and get money for a single mom so she can have gas for the van and electricity for the week.

As my Anne comes home I tell about what had happened and wonder whether I had wasted 3 hours of my day or whether I needed to be stretched? I do take the time to visit the group’s website and go over a couple of articles that just re-enforced the groups choice to make their focus on their differences and distinctives. As my evening finishes I end up going to Church’s Chicken to get a late dinner and follow through on a bet to try fried Okra. I hate to say that my day finished better with the Okra then sitting through a tedious 3 hour session that was more bent on pushing me even farther away from this other group which in my spirit hurt.