I am learning that life is a roller coast that does have certain times when you go up really high and then have this sensation of falling where life can be rather scary and exciting. It has been a rather stretching couple of weeks with both Anne and I having the flu bug. The added extra in our lives now is our daughter’s wedding and all of the planning and emotional ‘stuff’ that goes into deciding the bigger questions. There is definitely a transition in getting to know the in-laws or out-laws as I would joke with my parents and Anne’s.
We have some close friends who have gone through some really tough times. The old adage when it rains it pours would totally describe their lives. I had meet with my one friend to get advice and accountability on relating back to my family situation. As we shared and listen to each other it was obvious that we both had ‘full’ plates before us. God has put us into situations where we have no choice but to trust Him, ask for his strength and peace to make each day. I know that I have gotten use to the drama side of life as we have worked in our neighborhood over the last 4 years. I wish there were easy answers to give to some of my kids, teens and their families. Yet, I know usually God wants me to live one day at a time and not look for some easy out.
We have been around a few friends who have had loved ones take their lives. The questions and emotions that come out of this make it almost impossible to know how to help or do anything. I can remember the look of anguish on this one couple when I saw them the morning after. Tears and hugs were all I could handle. My daughter’s boss had something similar happen to him. After attending this teen’s funeral it again struck me that no one is prepared to have anything like this happen to them. So as I look at my life, which does seem crazy at times, I have a better appreciation for seeing that I am ok as I journey with God’s help in better embracing grace and mercy as my focus and not being a super star or having the answers.
I have to admit that I get frustrated at times with my dad and his inability to understand simple things. So when I get a phone call and he is upset and uses some different way of describing his situation I know I have to de-code and ask if the T.V. is working or whether something has happened to him. So when he called yesterday I could tell he was frustrated. So we navigated through the uncharted sea of how to fix the T.V. it took 10 minutes to get him to figure how to turn back on the cable signal and also make sure the cable was actually on. So as I heard the sound come blaring out I was pleased that we got it to work. I am always concerned to give my dad the best help which doesn’t always mean that I come to his rescue but help him navigate through the rough seas in his life at times.
We had a great weekend between having dinner with some new older friends at a nice Italian place, then doing a carwash that raised $$ without doing any cars, go figure that one out, helping with a birthday party of one of our little kids and then doing our monthly bbq that is always a pleasant surprise as to who comes and the mix. So what stands out is one of the moms of my younger kids stepped up and gave her grandma a breather. This meant that she took her kids away on the weekend and during the weekend instead of having her 70-year-old grandma be mom. It is difficult to describe what it is like to raise ‘drug’ babies. So I am thankful that my grandma Sarah got a break. Yet, the reality is that these kids have real needs so on Friday night one of them is taken to the hospital for an asthma problem and another is taken into the ER for a severe reaction to a spider bite.
As usual there is always some type of drama incident that causes us to have to work through personality clashes or family feuds. So it is interesting to see how easy it is for teens that don’t have dads and a real family support structure to pick on each other and be so quick to verbally beat each other up. It is easy to lose it with these kids some times and then still reach back to them. This, in the bigger context, is all good because it forces everyone to care about each other and realize that we all have issues and tend to be selfish and over react to circumstances that are crazy. There are always good stories so as I am talking to one of our older teens she is graduating in May and the topic is more helping her get some $$ to get her class ring, fill out applications for college and work through some of the land mines of being in a broken family. The great news is that she is graduating and will go to college. Yeah!!
I know that being sick at times forces me to slow down or actually put everything on hold for a few days. I was actually able to read a couple of books that continue to reinforce the need to trust God more, step out in faith more and not be fearful of ‘man’. I am thankful for the many friends that God has sent out way. I also know that one of my problems is putting to much faith in people and being let down at times. So I am seeking to find a balance where I can recognize the great things that God is doing. As I look around at other friends who have real life struggles I am thankful that my life is pretty good a present. Yes the temps were high over the weekend but there is a cooling spell coming in a few days. So God’s grace and mercy always refresh me as I face a new day!
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