I know that there are some ancient sages that have said, “This too shall pass!”. I am emotionally drained but invigorated by my daughter’s wedding this last weekend. I know that there is no such thing as a picture book event but this really came close to that. I have been around many weddings, funerals and other large events in my life. I know that ultimately what is important isn’t the size or the expense of an event but what happens from the heart. I know that all who were present will have incredible memories of an outdoor wedding that saw the sunset as the ceremony finished.
As I age the importance of family and friends takes more and more of a forefront in my life. So what was a real treat for everyone at the wedding was having an opportunity for a family reunion. It struck me as we watched the wedding week happen that seldom does the family come together except for weddings and funerals. It was obviously better to have the wedding as the reason for all of us coming together and not a funeral. (Even though I realize that this could be the next reason we come together.)
I know that my Anne was excited and nervous to have the larger family come to our house for a dinner on Saturday night before the big event. It was great to just be able to share a meal together and listen to what everyone is doing. We took an hour or so as a large group to share our personal stories. As we made our way through the circle of family members it was exciting to see the cousins and how they have all grown. All of us have different stories that reflect both the exciting part of life and then also the struggles and defeats that make life truly unique for everyone.
Anne and I had struggled with whether we should stay at the wedding hotel and be with the larger group of family and friends. I am so glad that we were able to do this because it gave us opportunities to be with Anne’s brothers and sisters and their kids. I was also very thankful for Joyce’s willingness to host a Saturday brunch before the wedding rehearsal. It was fun to meet Chris’ entire network of family and friends and then to see little Max and Sadie who would become the little stars of the wedding party.
I have to mention that my Jon and his girl friend Jodi looked incredible. I am not always one who thinks that heavy makeup or fancy hairdos necessarily transforms the soul of a woman. Yet, after seeing my Anne and Heather come out of their beauty makeover it was well worth it. I did laugh at Anne’s slowness to want her nails done or allow someone to actually touch her little toes. After all of the work done by the nail lady and the salon stylist it was incredible to see the end result – a gorgeous, knock you out 50 something gal, that really looked like a 30something and then a daughter who usually looks like she is barely 21 look out of this world. I know that both would confess that it took almost as long to undo the hair and makeup but it was truly worth it!
I know as the father of the bride who had the honor and privilege of walking the bride down the isle that it was a very emotional experience. I can’t fathom what was going through my Julie’s mind as she had dreamed about this day for years and now it was happening. I am glad that I saw tears streaming down her cheeks knowing that my perfect daughter is actually human. I knew I would be in tears because of the day and remembering my mom who has been gone four years. I did feel as if I was walking on clouds as we stepped onto the grass making our way to the front of the audience.
My father in-law chose to include us in the wedding so both Anne and I were able to share a little about our life focus – understanding and experiencing the real love of God. I tried to get Julie to calm down and Chris to crack a smile. I was taken back by one of Chris’ friends, who obviously didn’t know me, come up after the ceremony and proceed to tell me his credentials for being a gifted speaker and affirm my communication skills. I laughed inside and didn’t say anything about being a pastor and director of a non-profit where I speak in groups all of the time.
I am thankful for having a brother and sister in-law who are gifted photographers so I didn’t use my Nikon D-40 at all during the ceremony or dinner afterwards. It was a long wedding night with having to take grandpa back home and also our college helper, Katlyn, who both live about 30 minutes away. It was great being able to go back to the hotel room and collapse. I know that neither Anne nor I really wanted to transition back to normal life but we did over a few days.
I think the theme of the wedding of travel and destinations was excellent. My hope is that both Julie and Chris can see that life is a journey that starts off without any of our doing but than unfolds as we live out our dreams and desires that are truly a byproduct of family, circumstances, God and a lot of hard work. I was excited to hear that Chris had been offered his first job with a commercial-airlines. Life will be different as both of them dive into their chosen career paths soon.
As I sit at my Starbucks typing this I now wonder when my Jon will be taking the big step. Hopefully he will let us catch our breath before popping the big question. Life is incredible and exciting!
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