Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Our other son - Terrance Michael


It has been fours years since I met Terrance at our 2nd painting project, we just finished number 60. I had persuaded a few from his church to help paint a house. As we are finishing I end up giving Terrance a ride back to grandmas. I ask him as I’m dropping him off if he would like to do breakfast soon. He nodded his head and gave me his cell. I had attempted to explain the glorious breakfast he would experience at Matt’s Big Breakfast.

As we began our journey in South Phoenix I was rather clueless about the culture in the African American Community and Hispanic Community. I thought I really understood the different dynamics of both having lived around St. Louis, MO, which has many African American Neighborhoods and in San Diego around Hispanics. So as Terrance has become part of our family, I come to discover that it was key to his grandma, mom and Sister that we be checked out to ensure that he isn’t being corrupted. It was over a year or so that Terrance became a natural part of what we do. He loves to sing so he has helped with leading worship from the beginning. He loves to work, most of the time, with teens and has been part of our youth work since day one. He has even gotten involved, with some hesitation, in doing painting projects. Terrance has become the face of New City.

Terrance lived with us for 2 years after his grandma’s apartment complex was sold and the new owners decided to enforce the senior only rule. Terrance has been exposed and spoiled to some degree by being with his “White” parents. Many of his friends would often remark, “You live with this older ‘White Couple? Why?’  The real question would be ‘Are you crazy or something?’ As time has gone on Terrance has become an integral part of our family. He knows our kids and they know his big heart and klutzy tendencies.

Yeah, Terrance would admit that he has a tough time sitting still for any length of time. He would also confess to the fact that he forgets his phone, wallet or keys at least once or more times a day. I have gotten in the habit of hiding his cell when he leaves it out. (Forgive me Terrance.) I enjoy bugging him about cleaning up his messes and not forgetting the necessities before he leaves each day.

This week Terrance will graduate from South Community College with an AA degree. It has taken Terrance fours years to finish but he has chosen to keep at it and not let his dislike of school or doubts about whether he is college material get in the way. I know that Terrance often feels judged by me for not doing more but I want him so badly to know that I am on his side and one of his cheerleaders as he finishes his time at South Mountain College. Terrance is still figuring out what he wants to do with his life. He has gone the gamut from wanting to be a vocalist or music teachers, a social worker, a counselor, a pastor and now a CNA, while he works on his degree at ASU.

I know that God will direct our Terrance on the right path to get that first full time job that will provide for him and his hopeful bride, Toniel. It has been a blessing being a dad and friend for Terrance. He grew up on the Southside without his mom with a grandma who loved him totally and has shielded him from much of the ‘garbage’ of being in the ‘hood’. We are proud of our son and rejoice with Grandma, Mom and Sister for the guy – Terrance Michael! Keep following Jesus and you are gonna do alright. 

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