Pretentious

It has been great having my niece and nephew stay with us over the last couple of weeks. My nephew has a rather astute intellect. One of his favorite words is pretentious. As I observe my nephew interact in lots of different settings his favorite word is still pretentious. As I have gotten to know a few of my dad’s nurses or caregivers at the hospital, the last word I would use to describe them is pretentious.

I was having a casual conversation with one of the nurses who was helping my dad, aka grandpa and got into a conversation about life circumstances. She slowly opened up about her job and love of helping and caring for patients. She was quick to talk about her kids and mention that one of her sons had died. It didn’t take too long to hear of her son’s battle with CF. She talked about the struggle of watching her son slowly die as she and her husband did everything humanly possible to save his life. The reflection now was upon making up time with her teenage son who had been left behind at times because of his brother’s illness.

This nurse was clearly an amazing lady, who understands how to care for someone as if they were her own family. It was both encouraging to hear how she is doing presently but also sad to know a little of her heartache and the brokenness that follows loosing someone at such a young age. As my nephew would say that this lady was not pretentious but someone who is genuine and authentic in the truest sense.

As I logged onto my Facebook or twitter and commented, day 6 and counting for grandpa’s stay at St. Joes. I have lived in grandpa’s room this week and watched time fly as either I have read or watched movies while he sleeps. One of the most difficult lessons in life is waiting, especially when you aren’t sure of the outcome or results of tests. It isn’t easy to be pretentious in this context.

Last night I was at a house warming party and was able to reconnect with a daughter of some close friends. I knew that she had been diagnosed with MS around 8 months ago but hadn’t seen her. It was a sad happy time being able to hear about her situation but very sad to know that her toddler son would struggle with understanding why mommy is at the hospital or not able to help him or go outside and play. It was very humbling and sad to physically see the outcome of this disease.

As I reconnected with a younger friend I was able to hear from someone who had experienced not pretentiousness but brokenness. This young gal has had a serious of tragedies over the last couple years of her life. I was impressed that she had chosen to face everything and not quit or pretend everything is perfect. What struck me as I listened, I decided to not say much in fear of sounding pretentious, was how she had done more than just cope but faced her circumstances. I hadn’t realized her family story with her dad leaving her mother when she was young and the fact that she helped raise her younger brother and more recently lost her mom and had a failed marriage.

The difficulty in life at times is that it is so easy to confuse what really matters with what is superfluous. I end up attending an assortment of different types of gatherings over the years. I have this reluctance of going to what my wife would call fakey cocktail parties. Don’t get me wrong I love to socialize and get to know new people and hear their stories. Yet, what I don’t like is either being judged because of what I do, what car or truck I drive, what laptop I presently use or my yearly salary. It is oh so easy to get carried away with thinking that certain professions or better than others or that bigger is better or more is the solution to all of my personal dilemmas.

As I sit in grandpa’s hospital room, I can’t fathom that I am going to really worry about my GPA in college, which was good or the fact that I’m a mac not a pc type of guy but most importantly I should be focused on grandpa. Yet, it is so easy to let the non-essential things in life become bigger and more important than the biggies. Yes, I react to people who tend to be plastic or too full of themselves. Yes, I’m always drawn to someone who is a doer, giver and helper type. It is easy for me at times to be pretentious because I might think I’m better than someone else since I’m involved with helping people in crisis. I do love seeing someone step up and do what’s right when their circumstances would say don’t do anything and expect someone else to save you.

It has been a ‘blast’ having my nephew around so I can have my vocabulary challenged and increased. It is fascinating to hear how different people think and express themselves. As my amazing wife will often chastise me for not really looking at the sunset or really taking in the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. So my hope is that someone won’t walk away from me at a party and sneer, “Boy is that guy pretentious!” I know that my only hope is that I can be more honest about my own brokenness and need for help from the Lord. Otherwise I had better get accustomed to the pretentious word.