Loud, Obnoxious and Insecure

I have the privilege of working with a wide variety of different people. What is so amazing and interesting is how easy it is to misread someone. The person that seems to always be out front and loud could easily be the person that is hurting on the inside and very insecure. I also know that I’m around a lot of wounded individuals who are so quick to hide from any group interaction. The question. that I face often. is how to help or be a link to someone that will provide the means for them to rise above their situation. The hope is to seem them discover a way to overcome or deal with their hurt and actually become a game changer.

One of my favorite pastimes is to hook up some of my friends with other friends to see if I can build bridges between different people groups so someone who is healthy can bring hope to someone in the dumps. I had a friend visit with a single mom yesterday to hear her story. I was so jazzed that my friend brought some cookies and an open ear and heart to understand life from a totally different context. It is so easy to not only misjudge someone but assume that you have the answers to that person’s situation. My friend did an excellent job of listening and making a new friend.

I know that I can at times be the person out front asking questions and leading a discussion group. I might come across as if I’m totally self-assured and have it together but I don’t. I can share at times how many feel alone and inadequate on the inside. It is so easy to hide our fears and insecurities by taking control or being loud and typically obnoxious. I have some friends who try to hard to connect with others or want to be the life of the party but it is forced and not natural. So I think that most of us want to have genuine relationships but don’t always have the experience to know how to make that a reality.

My point in writing is to say that so often the person who is loud and sometimes out of control is doing this to get attention but it’s because they are hurting and don’t’ connect well with others. It is too easy to view someone in this context as being arrogant or totally into themselves. Yet, they can be someone who is reaching out in the wrong fashion and we just don’t see it. So be slower to judge and quicker to understand your friend or workplace situation.