Cemeteries and Memories

We usually go to San Diego to enjoy family, Filippi’s Pizza and the beach. This weekend we traveled across state lines to attend an older friend’s funeral and visit the Rosecrans National Cemetery in Point Loma. I’m still struggling with the passing of my dad. I’m thrilled that he can be with his Lady in heaven and enjoy their heavenly condo but I’m left without a mom and dad. Yes, I’m an adult who is actually capable of figuring life out without mom or dad here. Yet, the reality is that I miss them and would have preferred them to be here awhile longer so they could be around for all of my kid’s weddings and the onslaught of great grandkids.

One of the more interesting assignments during my freshman year in my English class was to write our own obituary. The teacher wanted us to step back and see the bigger picture in life and begin to understand what the real essence of life should be. We did this obituary and then had to write ourselves a letter that she would somehow send out 10 years later. I have to be honest and admit that I totally forgot about this letter that our teacher kept. I’m even more surprised when I received this blast form the past. I admit that I wasn’t a great writer in High School but expressed my heart in the letter that was reflective of how great a mom and dad I have and the fact that I wanted to be like them as I grew up.

As we drove through the aging but beautiful Point Loma Community on our way to Rosecrans National Cemetery it brought back many memories from my past. I didn’t have any place I could call home because we moved every couple of years. This didn’t mean that I was homeless but that my home was truly with my mom and dad. After my dad’s passing it was now time to decide the final resting place for my mom and dad’s remains. As a kid growing up we didn’t make a big deal about visiting the graves of my grandparents, yet, I had this sense that I wanted a place to come on a yearly basis to reflect on the lives of Ed and Peggy Bennett. I don’t want to let time and the busyness of my life to stop me from honoring the two who gave me life.

I had looked online at a few pictures of this incredible Military Cemetery that was strategically placed on the edge of the ocean and bay to remember those who had served their country and given their lives. I was totally impressed with how perfectly the grass had been maintained and cut. You could actually smell the grass in addition to the ocean breeze. The cemetery had perfectly aligned headstones that were all the same in rows that dotted the green landscape that abutted the ocean. As the sun reflected off the ocean and through the trees it did seem an amazing place to allow my mom and dad to be together for our benefit.

How do I purposely not allow time to stop me from reflecting on my mom and dad’s lives and how they impacted my family and me? All of the quirky little things that define a family are what make incredible memories, even the dumb choices I made that I can now laugh it. I don’t want my brothers to slip off the edge of my life and become casual acquaintances that we see every year or so. I want to be there when my niece graduates first in her high school class or my Aaron decides to trek around the world to discover the true meaning of life for him. I want to brag about my grandkids as if my mom and dad were here to spoil them. Yet, none of this will happen unless I intentionally do something to help make memories and then design a way to keep those memories fresh in my life.

I confess that as we finished looking around this historic cemetery that I cried both tears of joy and sadness. As I realized that many in this cemetery had lived shortened lives because of sacrificing themselves for our country and me. I understood that my parents were blessed with normal lives that allowed them to see of my family history unfold such as we adopted Julie, Jon and Heather’s wedding and then grandpa was able to see Julie wed Chris and finally our Jon wed his Jodi.

I hope the Lord will bless me with great memories and the occasional dream to bring back my childhood that was special and an amazing life gift from Ed and Peggy Bennett my dad and mom!