Shut up, zip it and LISTEN!

I will be the first to admit that too often I’m more interested in making sure my pearls of wisdom drown out the person who is speaking. Sadly, most are more concerned about their point being heard that actually hearing the story of a friend, office worker or a new acquaintance. We live during an era where most everyone is more consumed with themselves than the needs or life stories of those around them. 

I know that my better half will chastise me for using the word ‘shut up’ which is forbade in our house but the reality is that at times you must scream to get the attention of the person who is only interested in making their point heard. The sign of maturity is the individual who is willing to slow down, listen and then only respond when it adds to the conversation. Typically, my quick response is to usually justify my position over the point of view of the person I’m attempting to push to my side. 

The blame for our self-centered life style is a combination of the simple fact that few if any actually sit around a table when they eat dinner and instead allow the mega-screen T.V. to be the center stage. Otherwise it’s the almighty smart phone that is center stage when we go out to eat. Conversation is no longer something that grandparents or parents teach their kids. We are at the mercy of social media or now restaurants that ban cell phones at their tables. (Yes, there are business owners who promote real communication at the chance that they could lose business.)

I had the privilege and fun of meeting a few people yesterday who have become new friends. It was incredible to hear their stories and realize that I didn’t have to add anything to the conversation. The opportunity for everyone is to intentionally learn how to zip it and just listen to someone else’s history. I was humbled as I listened to a single mom share her story of a son who had experienced a series of poor choices and had his life put on hold when he was shot in the head which lead to the amazing testimony of this mom and how God has saved her son from dying or being a vegetable. I had the joy of meeting her son and seeing how he towered over me. 

Why is it the case that too many, including our president, truly believe that their lives must be center stage in everything? I tire, or maybe I’m jealous of the person who is seeking city council seat or the senate and has a video done about them where they seem to be super heroes that can leap tall buildings or take multiple shots without being fazed. Why do we have such a fascination with the celeb icons of our society? It’s the normal, average person who makes the world go round. Clearly, it is this group that pays taxes, volunteers at school or church and is the one willing to stop and help another person in trouble. 

Listening skills clearly are taught by normal people but sadly the mass populous aren’t interested in hearing. You must be a Nike superstar to be heard. There are too many real heroes who have put their lives on the line for others whose stories will never be heard. These are the people that we need to hear and learn the real meaning of how life isn’t about me but about laying my life down for others regardless of whether I get anything out of it. 

I know that the message of sacrifice for a family member or a friend can be heard but the Biblical message of laying your life down for a stranger or ‘God forbid’ your enemy has never been popular. 

So, please consider actually sitting down and allowing a new friend to share their story and don’t even start to share your story to ‘top’ their story.