#whyididn’treport!

I can’t fathom that a group of older women would honestly make the excuse for men that it’s perfectly ok to make a goal of doing 100 kegs during my senior year in high school and that groping a girl is normal behavior! Looking back at my high school time I’m regretful that I didn’t stand with a friend. This friend, she wouldn’t have won popularity or beauty contests, was raped by a high school guy. I remember that the response from her family was tragic and it seemed that it was all her fault. I’m ashamed at the fact that I didn’t do more as a friend to reach out to her and walk with her. 

I know that forty-seven years later it would be almost impossible to find my friend. I don’t remember her last name and only that we attended High School outside of the Sacramento area. It’s remorseful to consider how her life turned out because of the one who committed this sexual abuse and unfortunately the way her family and friends treated her was horrible. 

It shouldn’t be any surprise that those who have been sexually abused seldom report it. The more serious the incident it would seem the less likely they would report it. It’s life destroying to be hurt in this fashion but then to have to replay, be questioned and too often be considered the villain is out of this world. The reality of what has been in the media the last week is that most that committed such heinous crimes are 99% sure of not being convicted of any crime. 

I know firsthand that the impact of this type of abuse leaves a life-long scar that too often will never go away. Is it any wonder that the #whyididn’treport is blowing up twitter? How is it possible that this has become a political game? How is it possible to put the life of anyone ‘out there’ who has suffered this type of abuse? The real conundrum is that those that are fighting against abuse victims too often are the ones who have been perpetrators?

                                                                                                                

I have witnessed first-hand the silence of family who have watched an uncle or grandpa molest a young girl or guy. How could this be possible? It’s very complicated and few are willing to take the time to listen, help, SCREAM and get help. The ultimate end result is that the one who has caused the irreparable damage has been enabled and protected. The question that continues to hit me is WHY? WHY? WHY? 

The present news cycle will pass as other supposedly more important threads come across our twitter feeds. Yet, the hurt, damage and crimes will continue until everyone stops pretending that it’s none of their business. 

Time to be a friend that listens, doesn’t make judgements and finds help for that friend regardless of whether they are 10 years old or close to being a senior.