Clash Time!

I grew up in a home where the expectation was that I needed to be honest and in touch with reality. I was raised by a mom who wasn’t a book learner but practical hands on type of person that forced me to do everything. I was blessed to have a bookwork dad who rubbed off in both his passion for learning, interest in exploring new things and willingness to be adventurous. I was taught to read at an early age and was surrounded with books that were at my age level and also way above. It was my dad who gave me an interest in science and understanding the why question of the universe and life.

Yes, I grew up in a middle class culture where having certain milestones accomplished were important. I can’t fathom what my parents would have said if I didn’t graduate from high school, college or grad school. Yet, I live in a community where the same expectation is either missing or understood differently. I know that getting a job is important. I also understand the desire to have a family is very key to life goals in the different culture groups in my community. The challenge is when you have kids having kids that aren’t able to finish their G.E.D. and where finding employment becomes a nightmare. I am told not to judge and let everyone alone. Is this really the best for everyone? Can’t I learn from those around me who are great parents regardless of their income level, educational background or absence of a degree or even a G.E.D.?

I know that quality of life isn’t defined totally by possessions, i.e. the size of your house, the type of car you drive or real key issue whether you have the latest and greatest video game. Yet, it is so easy for all of us to push or impose our life style choices or cultures on one another. I do react when I have a group of younger kids with me whose mom is AWOL and they fall asleep in the van while we wait an hour for them to appear. Is it that important that my kids and teens growing up actually learn how to read and be capable of applying online for a job?

I hooked up with an incredible wife who does have an amazing imagination and gift for creative expression with the pen. So I am stretched between a world where fact and fantasy collide. Is it possible for someone that is both theologically trained and scientifically trained to be able to relate to a kid that has been raised in the hood where everything I value has little or no meaning? I know that even in the context of doing church there are so many culturally different expressions of what is considered to be important and lasting versus what is considered fluff.

I know that my mom, even in heaven, will never let me forget when I pushed her to do a little lie to my boss, Mr. Brock, at the Ice Cream Store where I was working as a graduating High Schooler. A group of us senior guys had planned a trip to go to Mt. Shasta and told Brock that we would be gone for a long weekend. Most of us worked at his place or actually ran it. He just happened to forget that all three of us were disappearing. He called and asked my mom why I wasn’t there. I didn’t want to argue with him and asked mom to tell him that I was already gone while I was actuality still at home.

I confess to my sin and half-heartedly repented for having my mom do this. I can easily say that this is a world away from a teen I’m discussing the hard facts of life at present. I asked him if he was actually in school and he said yes. I asked him if he had a job and he gave the impression he did along with having a car and his own place to stay. As I pushed deeper into his heart I realized that he didn’t have any of the above and had other issues that needed to be worked through. So I did my father son talk about coming clean and being able to work in the present tense. I admitted that it was difficult not to be negative when someone uses excuses to hide poor behavior choices.

I totally agree that the culture I came out of assumed that because you went to college you would rock the world. Much as with my friend coming out of his church background you could be a world famous pastor as a teen. I grew up around people who believed that scholastic education and training were totally important whereas my friend considers it to be an imposition to learn how to actually type. I admit that I at times will feel better than someone who uses two fingers to type than someone who actually can feel the keyboard and type 40-50 or more wpm.

I know that I’m not going to totally change or transform anyone without God’s help and push. I also know that a large part of my reaction to a lot of people is more based upon my personal preferences than issues, which are truly important. So how do I learn to appreciate someone else’s culture and allow them to view mine without trying to be superior?