Regrets?

Last night at our guy’s group we talked about not having regrets in life. I had shared about listening to the funeral of the 19 hotshot firemen. One of the fellow firemen had shared that these men lived life in such a way that they could honestly say they didn’t have any regrets. My hope for my guys is to talk about the benefit of being someone who is open, honest and transparent. We talked about how difficult it is to be a good liar. The reality is that eventually your lies catch up with you.

I have been reading through Proverbs over the last year or so. I’m struck with how Solomon talks so much about being someone of character and integrity. He also is a realist and talks about what it is like to be someone who has regrets, does lie and ends up putting his foot in his mouth. The difficulty is that it becomes easier and easier to lie when you are around others who do it all of the time. Just like having sticky fingers becomes a part of your life when you are with others who push you to take that piece of candy or say you are going to borrow something from a friend that you usually end up keeping.

I know that looking back at life it is easy to see many things in my life that I do have regrets about. It is always much easier in hindsight to talk about what I should have done instead of what I actually did. My point with my guys was that it is so important to start living as a man of integrity now instead of waiting until after you do something crazy and get in real trouble. I know that once you have made some serious errors in judgment they can stay with you for the rest of your life. I know that a DUI, a bankruptcy or bad credit report today will stop you from getting a job, being able to buy a house or even get a cell phone.

I have always chuckled at a quote by one of my favorite authors who would say, ‘on your death bed are you going to honestly wish that you had spent more time at the office?’ It is so easy to have confused priorities that get you off track. It is in this context that it is easy to have regrets as you look back on the last week, month or even year. It is easy to let circumstances rule you whether that be your job, peer pressure from the wrong peers to the media or some celeb that is crazy but cool.

I know my guys are starting to get that it is what you do by yourself when no one is watching that truly shows your character. Yes, it is easy to act or pretend to be good when my motivation is purely selfish. When we start living in a grace centered fashion we discover that being a giver instead of taker is what makes life happen. It is when we fall back into being a taker that our focus is on what do I get out of this if I’m involved.

Today I talked with a nurse and a caregiver about my dad’s needs and plan for his life. I know that as a kid growing up it was so easy to take advantage of my dad and mom. I now cherish the times that I get to be with my dad regardless of what we are doing. We drive around a lot in the summer because it is too hot to get out. I know that my mom and dad have taught me so much about living a life without many regrets by their example of honesty and integrity.