Tough Day?

I always love going to Matt’s Big Breakfast for my morning outings! I had an e-mail from a close friend who was in town for just a few days. Fortunately, for him, I look at my e-mail before I go to bed and he checked his early in the morning. I know that it isn’t easy for guys especially to be honest about life circumstances. He has had a tough last six months waiting to do something with his life. I enjoyed our time together because it forced me to be a little more honest about my life too.

I had just been in San Diego, which should have been a mini-vacation, but it was for a funeral of a close friend whose daughter is also married to my brother in-law. I didn’t initially love nor understand the attraction to an old church that was filled primarily with old people. My life has changed significantly since the 70’s so now I’m someone who is in the old category and am starting to appreciate how generational friendships and churches matter to the aging baby boomers like myself.

I had been married in the amazing sanctuary at First Presbyterian Church in downtown San Diego in the early 70’s. It was a church that was at a crossroads because the demographics and culture of the downtown had changed significantly since the church was birthed at the turn of the century like 1900 not 2000. I wasn’t too excited about the pastors wearing robs or there being a pulpit that was 20 feet above the pews but I adjusted and worked at this church as a youth guy and family pastor in the early 80’s. The church took on great meaning because of my mom working as a financial secretary for almost a decade and my being on staff for 5 years.

As I sat in the Sanctuary I was overwhelmed with memories of both working at the church, getting married in this Sanctuary, attending my mom’s funeral and a year later a remembrance celebration of her life. I love coming to San Diego but the death of this friend struck too close to home and my wife and I both were in tears as we listened to the funeral ceremony. It seemed like only yesterday that my mom and dad came to Chandler to tell about mom’s cancer. Now fast forward almost 20 years and now my dad has severe dementia and my mother in-law has ongoing health struggles. Life in the past was full of adventure and seemed like nothing could stop you. Now I had to take notice that the church, which I had despised as a youth, now had become a home that welcomed me back.

I saw a few of my former youth group at the funeral that were now 40 something’s with kids in college or flourishing businesses. I also understood the struggles of an aging downtown church that lost families to the mega churches in their backyard. I listened to a good friend who is the family pastor reflect on her life as she had been reduced from full time to part time because of budget constraints. She is an amazing servant who saw all of this as giving more time to be with people and not in the office. Wow!

The real point of this blog is that I drove back early from our San Diego get away to go to court with one of my teens. He was having his probationary hearing that would determine the consequences of his unfortunate actions of a few months ago. The good news for my teen was that the judge was gracious and gave him shortened probation. I knew that there was a good chance this could happen. Yet, regardless of the good news the incident, which caused the hearing, had left a weight on everyone that made it difficult to celebrate. I was much more emotional on the inside then expected. I didn’t think that going to a funeral and then a court hearing would bring my own mortality to the forefront.

I was back in court again today after my friend’s breakfast to appeal something that required me to actually go inside and write something out. I wasn’t thrilled to have to do this but after being in court the day before it reminded me that this old building could be viewed as a protection zone for those who have been hurt by the world around them. I didn’t relish having to go downtown to do this but I’m glad it is over. The outcome of the day was that I felt like I had been beat up emotionally even though no one had laid a finger on me. My friend at breakfast had much more to complain about or be burdened over but the reality is that it is great to have good friends who will listen and care regardless of who is right or wrong.

I know that the royal birth brought much attention to Great Britain, excitement about even the economy picking because of this little baby. Yet, the reality is that the Queen will soon be making her way into eternity and the tone will be different. Yes, life is full of good things, bad things, birth and death. I’m thankful for friends and a God who uses even old falling apart buildings to remind us of His faithfulness.