Consequences hurt the one handing out the disciplinarian actions the most?

I can remember as a kid growing up that my dad would always say before he would discipline me that this was going to hurt him way more than it would hurt me. I always laughed at that and said you’re not the one getting wacked, grounded or told he can’t use the car for a week. I have to be honest my dad only spanked me a few times and the time I remember was when I cut kindergarten for a couple of days in a row. One of my classmates, a blonde girl, was kissing me and I couldn’t stand it!

As I have become an adult of adult kids I have to be honest and say that there is lots of truth in handing out consequences or discipline in any situation that I have been impacted hugely. It doesn’t matter whether it is in a business setting where an HR person has to interview someone making a complaint or the proverbial manager who has to fire someone because of their poor performance. I have to admit that life doesn’t exist in a vacuum. When you hand out a response for poor choices or out right breaking the law it impacts more than just the person who did it but their family, friends and their business.

I know that when I run a red light or fly past a speed trap and the light flashes that there is a good chance I will get something in the mail. I can pretend that nothing happened but I will be paying a fine or doing traffic school. I am often in situations where I have to be the dispenser of bad news and sometimes, disciplinary actions. I don’t end up doing much spanking, even with our little guys but have to either call a parent, grandparent or let the kid or teen know that they are on a break from New City activities.

I have been in the court many times over the years and know what it is like to listen to a judge dispense out punishments that range from probation to actual jail time. I know that the individual receiving the verdict knows ahead of time most likely what is going to happen. I have seen judges be very gracious when they don’t have to be or juries that seem to be way too harsh.

Today I have a teen that is getting his first review after working for a month at a fast food establishment. He feels really nervous but I tried to reassure him that if he hadn’t gotten into trouble or been lectured about something then he isn’t going to be fired. I said instead he would get a high five for doing good work as the new guy. I have been on both ends of receiving disciplinary actions and also handing them out. I get it that few really want to learn through the school of hard knocks or be the one to administer some type of measures to transform behavior patterns.

Yes, I have to admit that dad was right, it is going to hurt me and the benefit is actually life changing for me and those around me!