Sunday, February 16, 2014

Living and learning your story

As someone who wants to continually improve as a communicator both verbally and in writing I know that telling not just stories but my story becomes paramount. Yet, the challenge for most is that we are always trying to live someone else’s story assuming that there is something wrong with our own? I just finished a variety of books over the last year that talk about individual’s stories that range from an alcoholic priest, who loves to write, a lawyer guy that takes his kids all over the world, a friend who writes about his son’s struggles between science and faith communities, a daughter who loves to review Christian books and blogs and the list can go on and on.

What is exciting is that these individuals are stirring up in me the desire to write and experience my story in the present tense. It is too easy at times to daydream or reflect on the past and at some point believe that as you age your story ceases to matter and is of little interest to most. Yet most of my favorites authors are old people who are very capable of making life interesting and exciting regardless of whether you had one of these bad hair days, are experiencing real tragedy or just won the lotto and don’t have to worry about the bills.

I’m very fortunate to have a wide variety of friends of all ages, backgrounds, racial mix and socio-economical settings. I’m learning to have real life experiences that don’t necessarily mean that you have to travel across continents, even though I have a gifted brother who is a professor, photographer, blogger who does this but have discovered the adventure in your backyard. Yesterday, I ventured with a group of 20 that were a mix of my present life, little kids, teens, college students and a good friend my age. We ventured up a hiking trail that was around 2 miles to the top after climbing around 1,000 feet. I always have a few speedy guys that race to the top, a few that go at a normal pace and a couple that question whether they really wanted to do this.

I decided to award the few that raced to the top a monetary price. So Bookie got $5, David got $4 and QT got $3. The story of my life is my passion to be with my kids, teens and college students in circumstances that at times can stretch them and get them to think outside of their life box to discover that there is a big world around them that is scary but with a friend tagging along they can do something that matters with their lives and will make a difference. I could go into detail about my kids that Bookie’s dad has been in prison since he was like 4, David’s dad lives in Cali and that QT has frizzy long hair for being around 9 years old. I could also talk about my friend Roger who has been around us the last 6 years and on occasion helps out with transportation and funding McDonalds.

What is incredible about the books I’ve read is that it helps to flesh out your own story and the fact that it is still being written and isn’t even close to being finished. I know that I will at some point write more about my dad’s life that did come to an end this last October. I was fortunate to be his special friend and helper over a period of three years. He taught me the importance of being thankful for the little things and to stop worrying and focus on the present. My wife has a habit of telling me to look up at the sky or I will joke that I’m already smelling the coffee. I have been blessed to have an incredible life partner that is always pushing me to do more and she would love to be a world traveler so I have to become more open to that.

I know that there are still some from Denver that are reeling from a Football game a month ago and many in Canada that can’t believe that the US beat them in sudden death shoot offs in the Olympics. I also know that the experience of a few skiers and others is that when you push yourself to the limit you make actually go over the edge, not get the gold and maybe even get hurt. Yet, I’m convinced that all of them will be back up trying again for future gold.

I admit that as a little kid I did dream about being a baseball player, a scientist and for a short time a flier like my dad. My life turned out rather different in that I did win a little league series in Montana by hitting 3 home runs, I did become an Eagle Scout, I have finished 8 marathons, have been married for 40 years and have 3 grown kids that are all married. I have lived in some amazing places like San Diego, Sacramento, San Francisco Area, San Luis Obispo and even Phoenix in the Valley of the Sun. Yes, I have traveled to India, Siri Lanka, Thailand, Korea, China, Hawaii and the craziest was to drive all the way down Baja Ca/Mexico to the tip to help a friend.

My dad is the one who could brag that he has flown around the world so many times that he couldn’t remember. He had done secret missions flying a B-52 with the ‘bomb’ on board just in case some world crisis happened. Yet, the greatest thing about my dad is that coming home was always to him the greatest adventure and gift. Yes, I can remember when he brought me back a super 8-movie camera from Korea during one of his Vietnam tours when I was a teen.


I like my story and wouldn’t trade it to be a rock star, even though that was my teen passion or a jet pilot like my dad. My dream and hope is to be able to also tell the stories of my little kids that are now becoming big kids and adults in the near future. I know that reading or hearing other people’s stories are the most inspiring way to learn about life and not be afraid to experience it even in the midst of going off the edge!

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