Give UP??

I know that it is so easy to give up on someone and label them a failure just because they don’t fit your box. Yesterday I had the privilege of being around a few different groups of people that could have been labeled as ‘misfits’ or failures. It is too easy for those with means or a sense of betterment to assume that they have the answers to the world’s ills.

We had a group from a local high school along with a few parents and teachers help paint two homes of low-income families yesterday. I will remember Valentino because he was so quick to come and ask me why we were painting his neighbor’s house a few weeks ago. I told him that we would also paint his house. I don’t think he believed me. One of the key leaders of the group realized that Valentino didn’t have his water turned on so she made a trip to Wal-Mart and bought a couple of 5 gallon waters.  As we painted his house I realized he still didn’t have his water turned on which makes it a challenge to clean up but we managed.

The group of students who painted Valentino’s house attend a school that is designed for youth that don’t fit in the typical educational system. Some of them have learning challenges or issues with being able to sit and focus. What was truly amazing for me was to see so many of the parents, both moms and dads, actually out there working with their son or daughter. I know that it isn’t easy for anyone in today’s high tech age to focus on anything for more than twenty minutes. Yet, over a couple of hours with some coaching from our key leader, Victor, the house was finished and looked totally amazing.

I know from personal experience that parents have so much invested in their kids that it would be very difficult to ever quit and walk away. Yet, the second part of my day was helping set up for a graduation party for a few gals from our group that have struggled with staying in school and being able to focus so they can graduate. It would be so easy to make excuses about an assortment of things that could stop these gals from attending and finishing. The reality for these three is that they did struggle and almost didn’t make it. Yet, because of a few breathing life into them over the last year they succeeded. Tomorrow won’t necessarily be a ‘slam dunk’ for them but having accomplished this big step it will make the next phase in their lives doable.

We also ended up helping a new friend go visit her parents who she has been estranged with over the last couple years of her life. One of her aunts had died and the funeral was yesterday. It was difficult for this new friend to know whether to go or stay. We encouraged her to at least go out to see everyone for dinner. It took a lot of courage on this person’s part to actually go, knowing that she wasn’t necessarily wanted around. As is typical in tough situations there was a feud that erupted between a couple that saw their little kid run off. My friend attempted to intervene and help.

My day had started at 5am that day and didn’t finish until I picked up our new friend around 10:30 that night. I know that after listening to another teen that was living in a real hell that I saw how sometimes I could be a link to God, peace and comfort to some. I was thankful our new friend went and visited her family regardless of the drama. I struggled with my teen friend who we have helped over the last 7 years and her parents aren’t capable of helping but only hurting her. I was ready to scream because the adults in this situation have acted like kids and not adults who invest in their kids that are turning into adults.

As I reflected on yesterday I will remember one of my college interns who chose to take off most of her Saturday to help with painting but more so to chorale some of our little guys. She was willing to step up and befriend one of our little guys who actually got up on his own and walked to the park where we met as a group. She then took this guy to get more of my little guys. They painted, played, made messes and had lots of fun. If it weren’t for my amazing intern these little guys wouldn’t understand what it means to care about doing your best and actually see the needs of those around them. Yeah, it is easy to give up but it is so much more rewarding to stay as one of my teens would say in the struggle and feel the tension, knowing that God is there even in the cracks when it feels like walking away is the only option.