Guys Do Cry?

I can remember watching a movie with Tom Hanks being the crotchety baseball manager of an all girls’ team during World War II. His point to his girly team was that they weren’t supposed to ever cry. Sadly enough too many little boys growing up are given the impression that emotions are evil and reveal your weakness. I will be the first to admit that as a young guy playing baseball in Little League up to the Pony League that the inevitable does happen and you end up crouched over in tears. No matter how hard you try to fight it guess what, baseball players do cry.

It has been seven plus years since my mom’s passing and I’m just now getting use to not hearing her little voice around me and now just her example of what to do and how to do it. It is different with my dad’s passing because I had a special relationship with him that many things often through out the day strike me about him. Today as I finished his taxes and realized that I had to go back over his records and send out a death certificate. How final, how sad to think that someone’s life is reduced to a piece of paper or a record that is now stamped deceased. I know in my heart of hearts that there will be a day when I will see him again but that isn’t today and doesn’t help with the whole that has been made in my life.

I know that most guys fight back tears at all costs. God forbid that you have such a thin skin that someone could actually say something or in a work situation be reduced to being emotional. Yet, one of the amazing gifts from God, I believe, is the freedom and ability to be yourself. Yes, crying on occasion, is actually good and therapeutic.  So as I struggle at times with the absence of my parents in my life I know that my eyes will tear up and I will catch myself pulling back and wanting no one to see me or understand what is actually happening on the inside.

It isn’t possible to make up for someone that totally influenced your life from being a little baby to a grown adult. I have so many incredible memories from a great childhood between camping trips, visiting relatives, going to National Parks or the dreaded move, which happened every couple of years. I was fortunate to have a mom and dad who truly loved each other and stayed by each other’s side regardless of the circumstances. My mom weathered my dad’s five years of flying in Vietnam. My dad served my mom for a decade while they fought cancer together.

I have had the privilege of walking with my dad over the last three years as he battled a crippling disease that took away his mind and ability to converse in a normal fashion. I will always remember his incredible smile and quick thank you and I love you every time I would take him out for a ride and get a milkshake and fries. So yes dad I miss you and sometimes struggle with knowing how to handle the part of life that’s tough. Death is part of life and a path to a better existence but the absence of a dad, mom, sibling or best friend is going to bring tears and emotions often.

So I admit as an old guy that it is ok to cry and help other guys be able to express themselves!