Patience is more than just putting up!

I always chuckle when someone goes out of their way to tell me how patient I must be when it comes to hanging out with a bunch of kids and teens that come out of the hood – barrio. I confess to being a type A guy that is learning to relate to kids and adults that have a tough time sitting still and focusing. I usually smile back and say yeap they’re my family I don’t really have a choice or I really mean I choose to be patient with a purpose! I admit that being someone who too often is a clock-watcher it’s difficult to hang around family or friends that are always late. This is definitely where my patience is tested and I’m forced to step back, take a deep breath and realize the worst thing that could happen is that I’m 15 minutes later than planned. So what’s the big deal? Why have a melt down? Why pick a fight?

What’s more important building and feeding a relationship or beating someone up for a few minutes? I confess that if I’m meeting with someone I will wait at least 15 minutes before I do a polite text to see if they are still coming. If it’s someone I really want to see then I might wait 30 minutes before I leave and then wait to see whether they eventually text or e-mail me about what happened. Ultimately my choice to wait, be patient has everything to do with building a positive relationship with that potential friend, family member, business associate or church bud.

The opportunity is to help others by your choice to be patient with a purpose and just not be putting up with someone to act as if you are better then them because you are a clock watcher or have more experience in life. Time is totally a cultural ‘thing’ where coming to a party or family gathering early might be disappointing when you leave after an hour to discover that the family showed up a couple hours after you left. Patience, persistence and perseverance help me to reconsider how I value life, relationships, goals and my ultimate purpose in life. So is it really worth it to tear into my better half because she’s 10 minutes late? Little did I know the last time I felt a little up tight because of arriving at a family event that my wife had a tough day and I unfortunately was clueless because of my own navel gazing!

I totally agree that having a good attitude is going to impact my day and the day of those around me. Yet, unless I choose to talk about the why of being patient, persistent and the ability to persevere then there will be a tension in my relationships with people who have a different value or mindset when it comes to ‘cutting some slack’ for those who don’t fit into my skill set or goal grid. The real goal in being patient is to see myself grow in my life skills and see those especially that I love grow in their ability to discover their life passion and purpose. The flipside is that being impatient mostly pushes those I love away from me and creates a scenario where it would seem that I value my time or activities over a spouse, a son, grandparent or neighbor.

Imagine for a minute what it would have been like when your dad or mom was teaching you how to drive if the expectation was that you would past your driving test after only practicing for an hour. I know that most come unglued when asked to parallel park or actually drive on the freeway. So the ultimate goal is more about being a helper that cares about the success of the other person more than your iCalendar!