A mom, who is upset, because her teens like hanging out with us more than her, has just screamed at me. I am learning that the key ingredient for life circumstances to change for a youth is that the parent, guardian or grandparent must be on the same page. I know that I don’t want to promote a mindset of looking down, judging and making fun of an individual’s circumstances in life.
I have had the privilege to be around a few families for over 4 years. The sad fact in some of these families is that there hasn’t been a consistent home, there haven’t been much or any resources for existing and the parent/guardian is always gone but yet expects the youth to cater to their selfish whims.
I am beginning to understand how someone can be very upset about another person’s circumstances to a point where they want to take some type of action. The challenge or question is what do you do when someone doesn’t want help or if they do want assistance it is always on their terms? I do react to someone demanding me to do something on their timetable with no consideration about my circumstances. I know it would be easy for a mom or grandparent to think that I am trying to ‘buy’ their child’s affection or attention. The reality is that a friendship becomes the basis upon which someone chooses to be with someone or walk away.
Is it possible not to be critical of someone who continues to make poor choices that impact the lives of not only the person but also their kids and friends? If I see someone drowning or in a car accident is it ok to say that they should take care of their circumstances and might be offended if I tried to help? I have experienced trying to help someone stuck in the rip tide of the surf to be hit by them and potentially drowned myself because of their panicked reaction.
I don’t think anyone likes to be screamed at or hear foul language on a continual basis. Why is it the case that for some the only way for them to express themselves is with the f bomb in a loud fashion? I was dropping off a food basket for a family and could not fail to hear the parent screaming at the top of their lungs to their teens. The language being used was a total embarrassment. What good is this going to accomplish besides to continue to promote a reaction that drives their teen away from them.
I’m frustrated when someone uses me and isn’t willing to sit down and talk about life and the choices that are made. I know that I am supposed to be quiet and let people make their own decisions and own up to life choices. I just don’t want to see someone hurt a little one or a teen.
So what do you do? I know that if I confront this person it will turn into a screaming match where no one is heard. If I do nothing that these teens are being abused and programmed to be just like their screaming parent. I am praying for some special friends who are more equipped to talk to these moms about how they come across and how they are pushing their kids away.
I had an incredible day yesterday but it was totally ruined by this loud screaming parent. Today I am still feeling the pain. I had two very important meetings go really well. I should be feeling alright not queasy on the inside? So why is it so hard to walk away from someone you care about? I am getting a picture of how God feels at times when I wonder away and scream at Him for looking for me and trying to help me.