How can you love your neighbor if you don’t know them?

Society has changed so much over the last generation, where the average person moves so often, that there isn’t any rationale behind getting to know you neighbor. I admit that as a kid with a dad in the Air Force I moved 22 times in my 17 years of living at home. As an adult I have lived in San Luis Obispo, San Diego twice, San Francisco area twice and now Phoenix for almost 25 years. The big picture even being a long-term Phoenix resident is that we have lived in 5 different neighborhoods during this time. 

Sadly, I have to admit that even though I consider myself a neighborhood or community worker/activist type, who has a passion to see our community improve and make a difference, that it’s very difficult to know your neighbor when they aren’t interested in talking. My only contact with one of our neighbors is when they complain about someone parking on the street close to their house. My other neighbor, who is an older Hispanic couple, are incredible and have become friends. 

One of the simple factors in seeing our society change, improve and impact the world is when we become intentional about getting to know those who are around you. Yet, because we have become so transitory in nature, few view getting to know your neighbor as a priority because you will clearly move in the next year or so. I know that a few of our neighbors are shocked that as a renter we have invested in our house with the look of WHY would you do that? It would appear from the outside that we are home owners who do care about our home and our neighborhood. 

I know that God’s heart for mankind is for all of us, that includes both you and me, that we take the time to meet and get to know our neighbors and those around us at Fry’s, Starbucks, McDonalds or the laundromat. I’m always impressed with what transpires when I take the time to listen, learn a person’s name and then hear their story. I intentionally sit at my Starbucks a few times a week to write but also to connect with my friends. I was startled this week when Rick, a friend from my larger Starbucks neighborhood, actually honked at me. He got my attention and I sadly discovered that his mom had recently passed. 

I know that I always enjoy listening to Stephanie, a young mom with 3 daughters and a baby girl, who sits in the same spot if I’m later in the morning at Starbucks. She knows all about my family and involvement in the neighborhood. I discovered recently that the house being built that’s on our way to our canal to walk the dogs is her mansion. It’s a huge house on a couple of acres. 

So, what has stopped many from taking the time to invest in getting to know their neighbors or greet those they see almost on a daily basis? Fear of the unknown, cultural differences or being safe and taking a risk someone might stalk you and break into your house? I was surprised this weekend to be in a local park with our grandson to see twin 7-year-old girls on this large playground area all alone. They were quick to play with our Hudson and quickly share their stories, listen to us and then answer questions. 

I’m always impressed by how quickly kids make friends and include you in their lives. Why is it the case that adults can be so standoffish and at times almost rude if you’re perceived to be too forward in attempting to make a friend? 

My mom was the one who rather forced me to see strangers not as potential enemies but friends. I have memories as a kid being dragged around our new neighborhood being introduced. Clearly, my mom understood that everyone would live for a couple of years max so the sooner we connected the better we all would be. 

The amazing story behind understanding the practical way to love God has always been to see how His love is both horizontal and vertical. It’s rather easy to say I love God but yet the proof of my love of God is seen in how I treat my neighbor and intentionally choose to get to know them so I’m able to love them. 

So, think about loving God through loving your neighbor and then being able to love yourself!