This last week during our Job Life Skill Group I asked the
teens to write out on a 3x5 card what is one thing they want to leave behind as
a legacy when they die? I shared how as a freshman our teacher had us write our
own obituary. The purpose was to get our focus on one thing we want to do with
our lives that will impact the world. I had totally forgotten that she had also
promised to mail it back to us in 10 years. I was shocked to get this piece of
paper in the mail that fortunately made it to my parent’s home.
This last week I watched a close friend grieve over the
death of her mom. The passing of Momma wasn’t a surprise because she had
declining health over the last couple of years but the inevitable always hurts
more then we can ever expect. I was blessed to have been part of this person’s
life in a real way over the last year or so. I knew her mom fairly well so that
when the pastor, doing her funeral, talked about her spunky side and way with
getting people’s attention I knew that I had connected with the real Momma
although she was nothing like the Momma in her prime.
This last weekend I was really blessed to have my brothers
come and visit for a short time. My younger brother was on his way to Brazil
with his wife and my other brother was crazy and drove 20 hours to see us for
20 hours. (Yeah I think he is crazy.) My dad isn’t doing great. I know that if
I don’t see him every few days that there might be a big change that will shock
me. My one brother hadn’t seen dad in almost a year. I knew that he would be a
little surprised at Dad’s condition. We brought him over for dinner. Grandpa
loves to eat chips and drink coke. He had been at the table for at least an
hour or so when my brother showed up from his 10 hours drive.
We enjoyed having dinner together with everyone and Grandpa,
as we call him, did ok. I know that Dad can’t last more than a couple of hours
so when it gets to be after 7ish I know that I’m pushing it for Grandpa. So as
we see him starting to shake a little we decide its time for bed and start the
machinations to get him into the car. We get him up and into the walker and
make our way out of the house to the little yellow car. He isn’t able to climb
up any more into my truck and even the little van is getting to be tough. As he
slowly bends his body into the seat I wave to my one brother to get in and come
to his group home. I couldn’t tell whether Mark really wanted to come but I didn’t
give him a choice.
As we are driving back to Grandpa’s place I’m totally
surprised at what comes out of Grandpa’s mouth. I know that in the past my Dad
didn’t really get along with Mark for some reason. So the last few times that
Mark had visited, Grandpa had actually been rather mean to him. One of the
older residents at his other senior complex actually brought to my attention
one day if there was something that had happened between my dad and my brother.
I honestly don’t know a part from the fact that Mark did some crazy things,
which I also did growing up, but he got caught and in trouble.
So as we are approaching the group home Mark says something
that isn’t profound. Then Grandpa lets out with an amazing statement, “Mark, what are you yacking about this
time?” Here was something straight out of the past, which I assumed that I
would never hear Dad say again. So for a few moments I could tell that Mark
felt loved even though he had just been yelled at or put in his place. As we
got out of the little yellow sports car and walked at a snail’s pace into Dad’s
home it felt for a few minutes like my Dad was still alive.
I just received a text at 6:45 am from my one young mom who
just lost her Momma saying, “The boys are coming.” I know that a lot of the
heartache in life isn’t just from death or the loss of a loved one but how we
treat each other in the face of hardship and tragedy. I am so fortunate to have
had great parents and brothers so yes I continue to ache and miss my mom but I
don’t have the drama that my one mom continues to experience.
I truly believe that God won’t put more on your plate than
you can handle. Yet, I know I like to brag about being a multi-tasker but have
read too many articles recently that would say its time to go back to doing one
thing at a time. I heard some news last night that shattered my heart. As I
finish this blog tears come to my eyes. I know that I have taken for granted
some special people in my life. I try to be good at saying I love you, doing
little things and trying to plan surprises but yet bad news happens which is no
one’s fault. How we face today’s challenges shows what we are truly made out
of. I might come across as someone who is independent but I’m not. My life is
less without my mom being there to cheer me on and my dad to make some off the
wall comment about political things or tell my brother to stop yacking.
The last thing I ever want to do is give the impression that
I’m not broken and don’t need to be fixed or re-assembled by God. Please pray
for my situation and me. Thanks!
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