Grandma Doris

I have some incredible friends that as I get to know them I’m humbled to have them be part of what we do! We have painted a lot of houses over the last five years that gives me a lot of grandmas to have participated in what we do. Last night we had our usual Life Skill Group at my Starbucks. We had 15 teens, 3 college interns and our grandma – Doris. I had asked Doris to just come and briefly share about her life story.

I was shocked and fascinated with Doris having 13 siblings in her family. Doris is a strong woman who has weathered many storms in life but at 79 continues to be someone who chooses to make a difference in other people’s lives. I know most 70-80 year olds are all about retirement and the golden years. As I listened to Doris sharing her family history and then her journey in becoming a nurse and caregiver I realized that she is always going to be helping someone out. She presently works four days a week helping older seniors who don’t have much family support and still live independently.

We talked briefly about how the younger generation always has difficulty relating back to seniors. I tried to humorously explain to the group that I wasn’t any different when I was a teen or 20 something. Yet, the reality is that I’m now old and so much desire to be capable of relating back to different age individuals all of the time. I asked the obvious question as to why teens don’t like old people and why old people don’t like teens.

The teens were quick to say that older people are mean and don’t act interested in anything they do. I attempted to help the teens see that if they took the time and had patience that most seniors could intersect their world. Doris was quick to say that young people typically don’t understand respect and the need to listen to an older person long enough to understand their world. I quickly tried to relay the fact that everyone at some point in life has been young and now is old. Everyone has had the opportunity to attempt to relate back to someone who had been like them.

I blew away a few of the teens by sharing my journey with doing drugs while in high school and playing in a rock band. I tried to tactfully talk about the fact that it isn’t easy being a parent or adult who has to relate back to their kids, grandkids or nieces/nephews. I know that it is too easy to make the wrong assumption about someone not caring or wanting to understand.

We had a great discussion about the New Year and what lessons we learned from last year. I used a verse from Proverbs 14 that talked about the foolish leading a life that has them end up in the ditch. So we talked about what it is like to drive or verve off into a ditch. The reality is that you are stuck, have to ask for help and you can’t pretend nothing actually happened. I know that I had too many ditch stories that hurt me and those I love.

It was awesome to have grandma, as we refer to Doris, be part of our group and share, even in a brief way, the realities of what it is like to be 79. I still can’t fathom that Doris is 79 and has 13 siblings. My bigger hope is to have my kids and myself be more able to connect with our grandmas and learn from them!