Confidence?

I know that as a kid growing up I lived at times in the shadow of a dad who flew these gigantic airplanes that were bigger than a football field. I also knew that he had to drop bombs from a few miles above and hit strategic targets. He was someone that was very intelligent because of the books that I saw on his desk or in his bookshelf. It was my dad that always challenged me with learning and going beyond and above my comfort zone.

I was fortunate to have a mom, who wouldn’t consider herself book smart, but was a doer type that was quick to assess any situation and come up with a plan or solution that saw results immediately. I also knew that if I attempted to ‘pull the wool’ over my mom’s eyes that she would ultimately catch me and put me in my place. I can remember all of the hours my mom spent helping us between school, sports, church and family, which eventually helped me to believe in myself or more importantly believe in God who could do anything in me and through me.

I live in the middle of a diverse neighborhood where most of the youth we are with don’t have two parents in their home and seldom have the experience of positive and encouraging view of their potential in life. I know that once someone is labeled dumb, stupid, and ugly or a whimp it becomes more and more difficult to overcome this labeling. Just as someone who is encouraged to go for it will continue to face challenging situations where they will face their fears and not be afraid to try anything even if they fail. I was taught from an early age that success only comes through failing and that failure is never final unless you let it.

Over the last year we have been in the middle of a few teen’s lives where they have given up on themselves because of circumstances or lack of motivation to make it happen. It is easy to get really bugged at their lack of trying or willingness to make it happen regardless of whether a parent or guardian is there. Sad to say it is easy to make the excuse that no one will help me so I can’t do this or why try if no one cares. Once you make the concession that it is too difficult or impossible to get from point A to point B then it is easy to let life pass you by and all of a sudden being out of school for a month now turns into a year.

I have also been around a few adults who are in mid-life crisis either because of a divorce, loss of job or family trauma. It is even more difficult for someone who is old to get motivated and rise up above their circumstances to make life better. I was raised with both a mom and dad that would never allow me to throw a pity party or become a couch potato! Yet, as I survey the neighborhoods around where I live I see too many that have given up on life before it has even started.

Last night we had one of our older teens come over in a real panic. He texted me as I’m barbecuing some steaks and now I panic. I would have assumed from his text that either he had killed someone, stolen a car or??? Yet, once I heard the real story it hit me how easy it is to not have the confidence in yourself or God to see life from a bigger or different perspective. This teen had brought a friend over who is also a self-starter and doing well in the area of getting a job and keeping a job. It still takes some time to figure out how to relate back to the people who are helping you without misunderstanding them or taking them for granite.

I also know that many people live in the shadow of their spouses, siblings or friends. We experience life at times vicariously through someone else without taking a risk to do something on our own. It isn’t that we aren’t able to act on our own and do great things its just that we have always done it with someone else looking out for us. It isn’t easy to be a self-starter type that isn’t afraid to fail.

One of the lessons that I’m learning is to allow others to shine and purposely choose to be in the background. This isn’t easy for me because I love being the center of attention. Yet, I know that, as I allow both young and old to become leaders that I become a strong person even if what this person attempts to do doesn’t work the first time or even the second time. I know that my confidence ultimately must be in God and not in my own perceived sense of talent. I know that my hope, strength and future are in God’s hands.