Don't Be a Drop Out!

I have been around a few people over the last year that have purposely chosen to drop out of life. I’m shocked when someone decides to drop out of high school or college. I’m even more terrified when I hear someone say that their life isn’t worth living. I had someone this last week say something that got the attention of a new friend who then told someone else who then called for special help. What would cause someone to quit and stop trying?

I know that one of the key ingredients to having a healthy childhood and teen hood has everything to do with having parents who are stable and able to give a practical expression of life skills. I know that having a mom who always drilled in me that the early bird catches the worm made me ultimately a morning person. My dad showed me through his example that nothing should overwhelm you because God made us to face both the difficult and impossible in life. I was raised with a mentality that said don’t be a quitter because quitters get left behind. I was also taught, which is a difficult lesson, that winning isn’t everything but what is more important is not only how you play the game but also how you finish the game.

I have witnessed how circumstances that can be beyond your control can put you in the middle of experiencing depression, a sense of hopelessness and feeling that no one really cares. I have a meeting later today with a teen, his grandma and a few special friends. This youth has been experiencing some health issues that make his life on the edge. The teen has a tough time wanting to do anything. I also have another teen who is older who has been experiencing similar feelings over the last year and struggles with being motivated to do anything. So I’m learning first hand what it is like to not know how to face personal struggles.

I’m not making excuses for anyone, myself included, but the reality is that everyone needs a special friend or mentor that can call them out, encourage them and walk with them through difficult times. The unfortunate reality is that most in under resourced neighborhoods don’t have that special friend or mentor walking by their side. One of my hopes and dreams through writing, speaking and challenging my growing group of volunteers is for them to draw others into seeing their opportunity to help someone step up and stay in life without throwing in the towel.

I have a few teens that I have been able to watch grow up over the last 6 years. The challenge, that can be frustrating, is that they have lots of potential but circumstances around them drag them down and instead of being excited about life they end up playing games and waiting for life to happen. I know personally what it is like to really believe that once I get that newer computer, another key leader, another partner church or special gift that all of the ills of my life or New City – Barrio will be solved. I’m slowly learning that I need to live in the present tense with an eye to the future and an ear to the past.

So how do I help someone go from wanting to end their life to being a passionate person who not only loves their life but wants to help others not only step up but help others step up. As my wife and I are learning with our own kids who are now older adults that it is a life journey without any short cuts or special promos that help. We have to learn one baby step at a time. I know that the heartache of failure is going to be a common thread for everyone around us. It is after falling on my face and I get that helping hand to stand back up that life gets better. Yes there are bruises in life that we can’t avoid. We took 80 kids and adults to the snow on Saturday to slide down icy slopes. I knew that the odds were a few would fall, slip and maybe possibly hurt themselves. So I wasn’t surprised when one of the teen girls flipped while going down the hill.

I have been blessed to have some older adults helping out with New City – Barrio. I think the obvious assumption is that only our kids and teens are the ones with problems. Yet, the reality is that even a few of our key volunteers are struggling with day-to-day life. Some are experiencing depression because of family crisis and others are on difficult economic times. I think what is starting to help and teach me more about the power of one is that it only takes a few walking with a new friend to see a life turn around.

I close with a story of one of my college interns who got credit last year for helping out with New City. She has chosen to continue to be there for a few of our teen girls. Last week she was able to come to our tutoring session and it was amazing to watch the girls flock around her. It was if she was this celeb that was famous and a headliner. Yet, the reality is that she is a normal college girl who happened to invest some time in a few of these girls and it has ‘paid’ off!