My Awesome Anne!

It is been an amazing experience watching my Anne over the last year. It has been tough living through her cancer scare last July. She had just finished a temporary job that was awesome because it helped pay the bills and save a little. Just as it was finishing she has some issues and ends up in the doctor’s office being told that she has a 99% of having Ovarian Cancer. So we have a week to digest or talk about the situation before her surgery.

I will always remember our time as a family with our kids and their spouses sitting outside around the pool at a local resort. I don’t think any of us had cried or been totally drained emotionally. We all expressed our love and appreciation for our Anne or mom. We spent a lot of time praying and caring for each other. The following Tuesday we arrive early at the hospital with a few friends and some of our kids. The morning was very stressful. We awaited word from the doctor. Anne in her typical fashion had taken a thank you card with candy and flowers to the doctor’s office last week because of how great they were to get her in before the doctor left for a lecture trip.

We were all sitting outside the coffee shop area and finally got buzzed on our pager and I quickly go to the elevator to go back upstairs to the waiting room. The doctor just happens to be on the elevator as we are getting in and gives me a 3-minute summary. She is fine and there is NO CANCER. I’m not sure if I really cared if there was anything else from the doctor. We now waited the next hour or so for our Anne to wake and hear the great news. I was totally undone but so thankful that the news was good and our lives could go back to normal.

It was after this cancer scare that Anne continues to look for work and discovers an opportunity to go through Chaplaincy training at Good Sam. Initially this all sounded like a great idea for Anne to get graduate training in better understanding the practice of spiritual care in the context of extreme suffering or grieving. Anne dives into the program and it isn’t too long before she has become an experienced Chaplain in the ER or Trauma Centers helping both the patients and the staff. The program, her fellow interns and the directors are now stretching her to improve on a daily basis.

We just worked through her mid-term evaluation that was more a reflective overview of what she had learned over the last 2 months or so. It was an awesome experience to see how my Anne has always been an incredible shepherd and caregiver for God’s flock. The challenge is not being in what is perceived as a key leadership role. I know that most pastors’ wives live in their husband’s shadows. Yet, my Anne has always been my equal if not superior in many areas. We have always been a team that senses and understands each other’s weaknesses and strengths.

I am so excited to have my Anne be affirmed by her experience over the last 2 months with working in the hospital and being able to be God’s powerful presence with those in great need. What I think is incredible is how the hospital staff view the role of the chaplain as being critical to the overall success of the hospital. As I share this it isn’t to say that the training and practical experience has been easy it hasn’t. I know that being around traumatic situations takes an emotional toll on everyone. The lessons being learned is how to let God and his powerful Spirit be the one who work through you. It isn’t easy for Anne or me not to think that we have the answers to most people’s circumstances. The key lesson is this context is that most times the best caregiving done by a chaplain is just being there to listen, to hold a hand and even cry with the family.

I know that my Anne has some fears of facing her weaknesses or biases when it comes to being evaluated by some of the staff. She eventually will have to explain and defend her theological views of suffering, grieving and how to help. I think what has happened is that Anne is gaining confidence through the affirmation of the many who have benefited from her being a good listener, someone who is able to practically care and then when needed pray.

I am excited to see my Anne be used by God in a totally different context that truly is hers and not mine. I know that she will do well and better understand her role and place in God’s kingdom. This will ultimately make our work together better as we understand the dynamics of living in a broken and fallen world.