I will be the first to confess that I can be a ‘fast talker’
and someone that is more keyed into finishing then listening or letting someone
else talk. This last week I attended a neighborhood association meeting that is
usually seniors. The key leader is a close friend who is a go-getter and more
than able to keep up with today’s youth. I had met with her to talk about
partnering with her group in a more strategic fashion. Our goal is to help our
community step up and own up to helping itself improve. We live in an area
where there are very few positive male figures to influence the youth to be
different than their surroundings.
My hope is to help the youth, myself included, see that
seniors aren’t boring and definitely have something to tell us about life. The
challenge is that too often seniors view today’s youth as being totally
disrespectful, crude and foul mouthed. The difficulty is that there is total
truth in this perception. So how do we build bridges between generations and
racial groups? Is this just a waste of time and effort or is it an endeavor
that has to be pursued at all costs?
I thoroughly enjoyed sitting on the couch of my neighborhood
grandma. She is someone that speaks her mind and isn’t afraid of conflict if it
leads to a healthier community. It isn’t easy to stand up against violence but
she is someone who will take on the gangs and disrespectful youth. Her passion,
like mine, is to see our youth not end up like their parents. Yet, for this to
actually happen we, the older types, have to be more willing to enter into
their world. It means I have to choose
not to always over react to their music, dress choices or language usage.
Today’s marketplace is being bombarded by seniors looking to
survive on fixed incomes and youth that are looking for their first time jobs.
I have many friends that are older that clearly are being discriminated against
and usually have little recourse. The opportunity is for the youth of today to value
their grandparents and seniors to the point where they listen and see the real
need to have them working alongside of them.
I get it that too often the youth don’t want to listen or let the oldie
mentality take over. Yet, I can remember back as a teen at how easy it was to
make the felicitous assumption that all people over 25 were totally out of
touch with life. The simple truth is that we all need each other. We are a mega family!
It strikes me as I watch my almost 90-year old father in-law
that the new retirement age won’t be 65 but more like 75. I have so many older
friends that defy the ‘age thing’. I know that it is so easy for seniors to
allow their mindset to stop them from seeing all of the diamond in the ruffs
around them. Yet, the most important
thing in my neighborhood is to have the youth connect with the grandmas and the
grandpas. As this begins to happen there is a sense in which our neighborhood
becomes a real family instead of the youth throw rocks at the elderly and the
elderly bad mouthing the kids.
I had the privilege of living around my dad the last 3 years
of his life. I know as a teen growing up that I often clashed with my dad’s
military façade but as he aged and became more mellowed he was a delight to be
around. He was always very thankful for our times together and seemed to relish
our little drives to McDonalds. He didn’t say much because of his dementia but
would also give me a big smile, hand sake and a God bless you and I love you. I
would have missed all of this if I had allowed the present trend to stop me
from relating back to my aging dad. I still need my dad’s influence in my life.
I have a crazy picture that I keep in my truck that reminds of my need to smile
and not always be so quick to go overboard when it comes to seniors that could
be boring or youth that usually are disrespectful.
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