Timing is everything?

Today I had a lunch with a good friend. I arrived about 10 minutes early. I will be the first to admit that being on time is something I see as a core value. The challenge is not everyone shares my set of values. I usually wait around 10-15 minutes before I text depending upon the circumstance. I decided after 10 minutes to do a ‘I arrived at the Mexican hole in the wall’ type of text. The response was;‘ I’m running 20-25 minutes late’. The thought went through my brain why didn’t he just text that he was running behind schedule. I know if I hadn’t texted I probably would have left after 20 minutes upset and would have considered my friend something not mentionable.

Now let’s flip to a party we had been invited to attend of a young friend who was turning 10. We had been to another party for her baby nephew and arrived about 30 minutes early to help with setup. What was crazy is that we waited; get this, almost 2 hours before the entire family made their appearance. What hit me was that none of the family was bothered and didn’t consider this rude or tacky.  So I was actually shocked when we showed up 30 minutes tardy for our 10-year-old friend’s party and the majority of the family had already arrived!

So why do some of us make timing a life or death matter? I agree that it is difficult to run a business or a family if you don’t operate on the same time scheduling. I know that it is polite to be a little late to some things and then a kiss of death or doom if you are 5 minutes late to a business meeting or to your in-laws.  I can definitely see some advantage to the cultures where timing isn’t a big thing. So you don’t get stressed, get into a car accident or wreck your day rushing around. Yet, I also get how frustrating it can be when you plan for 30 people for a birthday party and only a handful show up. The late comers or no show types act as if it’s not a big deal even though you worked your ‘rear’ off getting ready and spent a small fortune for the event.

Common sense should prevail and help you realize whether you are attending an open house where timing doesn’t matter or an expensive meal where being late is noticed and an insult to your family or business associates. The flip side is sometimes you just have to ask your friend, family member or business partner, who might be of a totally different cultural background, what is appropriate for arrival time and also for your exit.

I can laugh at myself at times because I’ll make a big deal about being on time when no one else has appeared. Then I think how totally crazy stupid that I’ve been stressing. Yet, on the flipside I admit that I would be mad if my family and friends choose to be two hours late intentionally. So what’s it going to be for your timing core value? Let the surrounding climate influence you or will you see the need to be more organized and willing to come early knowing that you might be the first at the party or event.

The bigger issue is that time is a gift that we can’t return and get a refund! So use your time wisely and benefit from helping those you love develop timing as a core life skill. Otherwise you can have ongoing marital or family timing blowups.