I will admit, rather embarrassingly, that part of my path to becoming an Eagle Scout at 13 was growing up around older guys and hearing lots of ‘off colored’ remarks. I will always remember our amazing scoutmaster, Ron, who at one point screamed at me for using foul language for the sake of hearing myself sound supposedly cool. Looking back my life was tremendously shaped by this 20 something Airman who lived in the real world but took a stand to help me see the need to be responsible for my actions, my language choices and be a man that didn’t bad mouth anyone, especially girls or women.
So what has happened in today’s political and celebrity world where it’s ok to be lewd, crude and downright horrible? Why does being rich or in the spotlight give anyone the right to act in a way that has always been WRONG? Why do we continue to make excuses for someone assaulting another person whether that’s physical, sexual or emotional actions that puts another person’s life in huge jeopardy? If anything should be clear is that those who have succeeded in the world of the rich and famous context should rise above and be the ones that are responsible in how they use their wealth to help and not harm another human being!
I think most guys that played sports in high school or college have memories of guys talking rather off the cuff about girls. The reality is that few truly believed deep down inside that it was ok to be crude and lewd! I hardly believed that this type of talk or boasting was ever ok. So why is it the case today that we allow those in the limelight to get away with making the excuse that this is just the way guys are and I really didn’t do anything wrong? Regardless of whether you are a former president or someone aspiring to the greatest office in the world?
As I watch my grandson grow up in a social media driven society I don’t want him to grow up believing that woman are just objects to use, abuse and then discard. Yet, as long as the business community continues to pay women less for the same job as her male counterpart then the assumption is that women are less important. It’s true that society and the role of women have changed dramatically over the last generation. It’s true that my parents were part of a generation where the majority of women stayed at home to raise their kids while their husbands worked to provide. The reality today is that women do triple duty as being moms, breadwinners and typically the house cleaner too. So if anything men should be in awe of how capable their wives are in contrast to their willingness to watch too often instead of doing their fare share.
So no more excuses or blame shifting with saying that boys will be boys or you know this is just how most men act. Instead wouldn’t it be amazing if men would stand up to protect their wives, daughters, sisters and moms by standing against such outright demeaning behavior. Imagine what would happen if it were men that fought for equal pay for their female counterparts in the marketplace? The HR director would go crazy if men were the ones making complaints about how other men were harassing the women in the office!
My mom would always reminded me that the best lesson I could teach my kids as they grew up was to respect their mom, my incredible wife. Sadly in today’s society too often its dad’s that teach their sons to behave in the boys will be boys’ fashion. It’s time for a revolution where dads will stand up for their wives and be the example to the up and coming generation.
What would happen if locker room banter became talking about respecting women and choosing to make a difference in all people’s lives?
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