Sunday, July 22, 2012

Do you ever cry? I do!

Yesterday was an incredible day with a group of 40 New Jersey Younger Lifers helping do community work in our neighbor. The day ended with a rather scary dust storm that turned into a monsoon. I was still digesting the news that my Anne had to have a biopsy this coming Tuesday to know whether she has cancer. She had recently gone to a specialist. Her doctor told her to quickly get to someone to find out whether or not she had a real problem.

My Anne is incredible and quickly surfed on the net for a doctor in her PPO. Little did she know that the one she selected, that was on her list, is the teaching expert from the University of Arizona Medical School. She saw him on a Monday and the next Tuesday she will have a biopsy to find out what is happening. I know that the word cancer scares everyone. We have already walked down the cancer path with my mom for over 10 years of her struggle with breast cancer. She outlived her doctor’s expectation.

I knew that after a crazy 6 weeks of doing our summer program that I had better set aside a few days to just be with Anne and our kids at one of our favorite resort ‘hangouts’. I made last minute reservations to only discover that the Resort was totally booked after I did my online reserving. After cleaning up the mess from our Painting Blitz Lunch, dropping off vehicles and getting our dogs set up, we left for our little resort room. As we are driving to north phoenix the dust storm and windstorm is at its worst. There was some lightening and a little bit of rain.

It isn’t always easy to talk about the obvious. How do I tell someone that I have literally spent all of my adult life with that they truly are the inspiration in my life? They are the reason I go the extra mile with what I do. Yet, it is so easy for me to come across, especially to my Anne, as if I am totally self-sufficient and don’t need her but want her around everything I do. I was raised by a mom, whose goal from birth was for me to purpose driven, and not grow up to be someone who made excuses or cried over spilt milk.

As we sat in our resort room and just reflected on what was going to happen in the next few days I felt totally powerless to change what the outcome might be from this test – CANCER. I cried as I attempted to express myself to my best friend, life-partner and lover. I wanted the world to slow down and stop so that we could be with each other and not allow any distractions to get in the way. I was so thankful that our summer program just finished with the Urban Plunge and that I didn’t have any commitments for a month.

Tonight we will have all of our kids over with their spouses. We will talk about what is going to happen and prepare them for how we are going to face the unknown with God’s help. I was drawn to the 23rd Psalm as my assurance that God is the one leading, guiding and drawing us on life’s journey. I know that whatever I face that my Father is truly with me. I know that even if I face the valley of the shadow of death that He will walk with me through all situations. I also know that his promise is that we will dwell with Him forever in His glorious Resort Mansion in Heaven.

I am learning to live one day at a time. My mom and dad’s circumstances have taught me to cherish every day that I have. So we will enjoy the next day just being with our family as we let God love us as we face a tough circumstance, which ultimately will prepare us for handling ever more difficult times. As I read more about what happened in this theater in Colorado I am blessed to have my best friend with me. I pray that God will use this to touch my life, my kid’s lives and those around us. I so much appreciate your prayers and encouragement. The journey is in God’s hand and we trust him for the results and strength to live each day for him whether there be sunshine or the dust storm. 

No comments:

Post a Comment