The Talk!

I know that the last thing I cherish in life is having someone talk to me face to face in a serious way about something I did that wasn’t the way it should be. It is really difficult to see the world through someone else’s eyes. Perspective is something that few want to hear about when it comes to our missing the point. I had to meet with a good friend to give ‘the talk’. I knew that this wasn’t going to be easy but didn’t have any choice.

There are lots of posts about success only coming out of failure. It is easy for someone who is doing great to talk about this but what about the person who has just crashed and burned and is being reminded about a mishap that they already know about. I know that iron sharpens iron and that learning to be honest and humble will improve a person’s ability to relate better to others, yet, there isn’t any easy way around this, it hurts to be told that you blew it. The challenge is that often we know better and still continue to make choices that hurt others as we assume that it makes us look better.

It is so easy to not really listen to a well-intentioned friend who has gone out of their way to help. I often will catch myself making excuses or justifying what I have done to resolve the tension that exists because of my poor choice and action that offended someone. As I talked to my friend at first it went ok. This friend is someone that I have known for a substantial amount of time. Yet, as we were finishing talking I caught myself having to go back and ask, ‘Did you really hear what I just said? If so why do you continue to skirt the issue?’ I had to come down on my friend because of his unwillingness to totally own up to what happened.

I hear myself saying the right things like; listen before you say anything, don’t always try to get the last word in any conversation and definitely don’t put anyone down as you are speaking. I walked away from my meeting with my friend emotionally exhausted, frustrated and at times wondering if it did any good. I know that I had no choice but to help my friend because he had stepped on another friend’s ‘toes’. My plea is that it is ok to step on my ‘toes’ and help me become a better listener and ultimate someone who can speak with wisdom!