Monday, February 24, 2014

Is it easy to step across racial boundaries to make new friends?

I always find myself in the middle of groups where I’m perceived to be the one who has an easy time making new connections with a large variety of people. I admit that I love making new friends but I too at times can be shy and withdrawn when forced to talk to someone I don’t know or more honestly don’t like. I had the privilege to be part of a 2 Mile March and Lunch for Unity to stand up against gang violence. One of my hopes, some view it as naive, is to see people of different racial and socio-economic backgrounds work together. This Saturday saw a group of my college interns, kids, teens, a group of Koreans and some new friends help with the pulling off this march and lunch.

The 2 Mile March was to remember Dewight Westbrook who had been murdered in July 2012 by a gang act of violence. His mom, Knoye, a close friend, was the one who so much wanted to celebrate his life and also make a stand against the violence around us. We were so fortunate to have a new friend with the Phoenix Police Department who is now involved with the community that helped us out with getting motorcycle officers to lead the march on the busy Baseline Road in South Phoenix - Laveen. We had probably 50 people that marched and another 50 who helped with the lunch and setup at the park.

I know that it isn’t easy for people to mix that don’t know each other unless someone takes the initiative to bring them together. It is all too common to see age segregation, racial segregation and even church segregation. This is normal for most because everyone likes to be around people that are like them, speak their language, listen to similar music and share life stories in common. The opportunity that we must seize for a community to come together is that we have to be willing to walk across those lines and reshape the culture of our community to be come heterogeneous instead of homogeneous.

The day after this awesome march and lunch I spent time with my Korean friends that had helped significantly with the lunch and the setup for the march. The pastor, a great friend, had asked me to come and do a discussion on how to be a neighbor or make friends with people outside your people group or comfort zone. The ultimate question came back to why should anyone venture out of his or her safety zone to risk being hurt by a new relationship that could backfire because of cultural differences. Some would say it isn’t worth the effort because of the hurt that most likely could result.

I praised my Korean friends for partnering with me to help a largely African American group understanding that this wasn’t something they would typically do. Don’t get me wrong because this group has helped paint houses of low income families and bless the homeless with food and clothing but the challenge is how to make this more than just an event but create a pathway to establish new relationships that can turn into friendships. My heart and theirs is too see people come to understand their need for God and become spiritually alive! The challenge or opportunity is that it is up to us as individuals to be more open to building bridges to different people of all ages, backgrounds and cultures.

What brought this topic of making new friends outside your group even more interesting was my visiting with a High School group from a predominately ‘White’ High School in Scottsdale. I did my usual discussion on community work, learning to understand the cultures around you and see the benefit of partnerships that work both ways so everyone learns from each other. The teacher who is leading this group for a week’s project in my neighborhood had already warned me that the class probably wouldn’t say anything. I did my best and actually got them to open up a little and understand some of life’s challenges when you don’t have a dad, normal family or much support.

I was pleasantly surprised when after my discussion with this High School group that one of the students came up to me and asked an awesome question, ‘Is it possible to really make a friend with one of my teens in just a few days? If this isn’t likely isn’t it a waste of time to even try?’ I totally agreed with this teen understanding the radical differences between her and most of my group. I challenged her to text me so I could give her name and cell to one of my teens. The test was whether this gal would do it and my teen would respond. It only took a few minutes before these gals were texting and becoming friends from very different perspectives.

I’m excited to have this group from Scottsdale come for a week to work with me and see how Katie and Dae Dae have progressed in their new friendship. I’m also excited to see my Korean friends be risk takers and step outside of their comfort zone to help me with Hispanic and African American kids, teens and families. I know that in the end we will all benefit, be stretched and learn more about the impact that a helping hand can have on anyone, myself included and become agents of grace and mercy. 

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